I have been married for 6 years but am still desperately in love w/ my ex. I don't even know why we broke up. We never fought we never even really broke up. Its weird. I don't know if he still loves me b/c I am trying to stay true to my vows. I don't want to hurt the man I am married to. He loves me so much but I am so depressed. I don't eat or sleep and I don't know what to do.
2006-06-25 05:04:59 · 24 answers · asked by trouble_0727 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I doubt you have a chance with your ex after so much time, but regardless of that, you obviously don't need to be with the man you're married to. You will both have a chance to be happier and to have a truly loving relationship if you move on.
I stayed in a bad marriage for a long time (different things made it bad, but that's inconsequential) because I felt like it was "the right thing to do", but it wasn't. Being miserable your entire life shouldn't ever be "the right thing to do". Do whatever you can to make your life better. He'll be better off in the long run too.
2006-06-25 05:17:42 · answer #1 · answered by squirellywrath 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am certain there was a reason why you broke up and you have forgotten the entire plot to the story. No offense, but you sometimes remember only the things you want to and forget the things you want to. I would say, after 6 yrs of being married, your husband who loves you very much, stood beside you and is here for you now, deserves the right to know how your feeling. I bet he already knows something is going on with you.
Your not the only person this happens too, but I can tell you from past experience, giving up the man who is with you and married to you for and EX, is not worth it. I did just that too. I even gave up everything I had to go back with my ex. It got me now where fast.
But for me the ex I refer ed to was my first love and those guys/girls we never forget.
Hang in there and please for your sake get over this hurdle and make things right with your husband. Rekindle the love you had for him. Take off the blinders and look outside the box. The ex is just an ex and leave it at that.
Best of luck to you and your husband :)
2006-06-25 12:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by young at heart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're still in love, and you are sure it love and not freedom you seek, then why did you marry the man you are with? Marriage is a big commitment and something cherished by two ppl who love each other very much. I got the same feeling sbout a year ago and left my husband. The longer I was away, the more I realized how much I loved and missed him. I wasn't in love with someone, I was looking for the freedom you have when you are single. Not to say you aren't free when you are married, but you are soley with that one person for the rest of your life. If you are still really in love with your ex and he is with you, consider divorce, but think to yourself and make sure that's what you really want before you break your man's heart. It takes a lot for most men to marry and it will probably hurt him more than it will hurt you. Be careful and God Bless!
2006-06-25 12:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by Autumn_Anne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop being a flaming moron and focus on your marriage before you destroy yourself.
You are no longer with your ex for the same reason your marriage sucks and no other reason. You didn't focus energy into the relationship and it fell apart. Worse, you wandered off to be with someone else.
If you were to leave your husband and get back together with your ex, in a very short period of time, the relationship with your ex would become like the relationship you have now with your husband.
The problem is in you, not your husband or your ex. The good news is, if you changed what you are doing, right now, things would begin to improve immediately. There are many fine books out there on how to be a good wife and a good partner, in every aspect of your relationship. Go buy them and read them and do what they say.
Do it before your husband wises up and divorces you, leaving you an old bag with nothing but cats for company. This is no joke. Most women like you end up like this.
2006-06-25 12:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you REALLY did break up because you went on to marry another man.Now that you have decided to put another person(your neww hubby)in the mix, you need to really think of him and him only.Stay away from the ex and dont give it the chance to mess your marriage up.People always think the grass is greener on the other side, until they get there.If you do, in a few months you'll be back on here saying you messed up and now you want your hubby back.Why did you ever hurt him.Dont do it!!Stay faithful in your marriage and put all your efforts and love into him.Dont dwell on the past or ex and take that energy and give to your marriage.You say he is good to you and loves you.Thats WAY more than some of these women(who ask q)are going through and you would give that up?Why?
2006-06-25 12:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by missyandgordon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're darn right it's weird!
How can you NOT know why you broke up with your EX, and even say that you "never even really broke up".?!?!?
Then,you married some new guy. WHY?? What was the attraction there?!?!?
Are you SLEEPWALKING through your life?!?
You need to do some self-examination, even with a real old-fashioned psychotherapist (not a pill-pusher) to answer these questions.
Maybe you might discover that you have clinical depression, or some deep inner conflict that wants to drive love away.
It's a sad case, and you need help to get better. But, you CAN get better.
2006-06-25 12:20:18 · answer #6 · answered by DinDjinn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married. You say that you don't even know if the ex still cares for you. You will hurt the person that you are married to. You need to make a choice for the sake of your husband. He needs to be able to move on. Do you want him to move on? Apparently you have loved him enough to marry him. Do you want to trade him for the ex? Apparently you and the ex had problems. Wouldn't these same problems be there? Adultery is not the answer. Get counseling.
2006-06-25 12:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to concentrate on the reasons you are no longer together. There is no reason the believe anything has changed.
What you are feeling is hormones, not love.
Your and your ex had a sexual chemistry that you do not share with your husband.
As difficult as it may be, you need to find a way for you to get more sexual satisfaction from your husband, If you try you will succeed.
Also consider 20-30 years from now when sex will not on the top of your list. Consider the comfort and security you will maintain with a man that loves you, and is in love with you.
2006-06-25 12:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by Nick R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when you are married for awhile, it's easy to become obsessed with an old relationship, a new person, et cetera. You just have to remember that love is a verb, not a noun. That means that even if you don't feel "in love" with your husband, you should do the things that a woman in love would do.
If you persevere and keep doing the things a woman in love would do, you will begin to feel "in love" with you husband.
And remember, your husband truly loves you, that's worth a lot. Just keep persevering, and your emotions will follow.
2006-06-25 12:11:15 · answer #9 · answered by Mistress T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your husband the truth. Then do the right thing and divorce the poor guy, say your sorry, don't ask anything from him and move on. Be by yourself for awhile and seek some counseling. It seems that you have alot of issues that you have not figured out and your tormenting yourself and your current husband for it. Another thought, why would someone be an ex if it didnt work out anyway? Why beat yourself up with it?
2006-06-25 12:24:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋