There is a guy in the office that I just don't like. He is cocky and a back stubber and I resent his attidude towards me and the job. I used to complain to my best girlfriend about him and say how I dislike and disrespect him. Then a few months ago, they met in a party and fell in love, and now they are together. I am emberessed because she probably told him what I think about him. Him and I are working together on a daily basis so this is inconvinient. Also, she pretty much stopped being my friend once they started dating. What should I do to feel better about this? How do I make things right again?
2006-06-25 05:00:20 · 12 answers · asked by Michelle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You shouldn't feel guilty because you expressed your feelings. You don't have to like him because he's such a jerk but you can try to put your personal feelings aside to work in harmony with your co-worker. I'd have a one on one talk with the two of them together or maybe talk with her alone and express this. Good luck hun.
2006-06-25 05:06:12 · answer #1 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Loose lips sink ships." You never know where what you say in private will end up, now do you ? Here is the perfect example. You told your "best" friend how much you disliked this guy and assumed she would keep it between the two of you. Ah, but she "fell in loooooooooooooove" and all bets are off. (She was such a "best friend" that all it took was falling in love for you to drop off the face of the earth. You might want to slow down on deciding someone is your best friend....)
Yeppers.
You have no place to go with this. ANYTHING you say will make it worse. Anything. (Repeat after me, "anything I say - no matter how badly I want to say it - will only make things worse.") You need to treat him with the respect he doesn't deserve and do your job three times better than he does his. You need to make no more comments about him to anybody - if he is a backstabber (as you were when you talked about him behind HIS back) then people will find this out on their own. You need to be better than he is and your behavior must be beyond reproach. in the end, you will come out on top if you behave like this. Not only this time - but through life in general.
And, by the way, when your "best friend" comes back to you after this thing with him falls apart, you need to be kind - but firm - and not fall back into a friendship with her.....
2006-06-25 12:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk right up to this man and ask him for a minute of his tme. Take him to the side and say this: "There's no hiding the fact I do not like your beligerant attitude and your mannerisms; however, you have obviously shown my friend that you can love, be loved, and are a kind person under that persona you carry around. Is it so hard to show me the same persona you show my best friend because now I feel maybe I made a mistake and everyone deserves a second chance? Want to try all over again? Even if you have to force yourself, for your friend's sake - do exactly what I say and watch the difference. Kindness leaves them speechless.
2006-06-25 12:06:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep things on a professional basis, and keep yourself above reproach. As for your friend, be happy for her. If she don't talk to you anymore, then that's ok. Just understand that some people just don't get along. As long as you CYA (cover your a**), there is nothing he could do that can hurt you, and it'll make him look bad in the longrun. Be patient, be professional, and if you have to document in a journal, or something similiar, which could help you n the future should you need it. Again, be above reproach...he can't hurt you if you haven't done anything wrong. Best of luck to you.........
2006-06-25 12:47:29 · answer #4 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit down and talk to them both about it, tell your friend that you miss having her around and tell the guy you dont understand why e resents you and ur work, if you had a problem with him take it to him and not ur best friend because in the long run it would be so much easier to do that.
2006-06-25 12:03:37 · answer #5 · answered by ricksbaby72 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to her about your feeling, that you always try to be honest with your friend, and never thought they would be together, hope you two can move on and being friends again... it is not something you could predict will happen. if she's a genuinely good person, and good friend, she would understand.. if she's not, then forget her... nobody can expect this kind of situation would come up anyway. this is definetly not your fault.
2006-06-25 12:05:28 · answer #6 · answered by hsmnt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not have said anything yet, or rather you should believe she wont say anything. Even if she does, makes no difference, you don't like him, that's it. He, of course should know you don't like him, so he would be surprised if your friend doesn't tell him you resent him. So feel good, things are not bad at all!
2006-06-25 12:12:42 · answer #7 · answered by spirit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can deal with this guy, talk to your friend and apologize, try to make mends. But if he is really that bad and you can't stand him, you should just deal with the situation or find a new job.
2006-06-25 12:05:40 · answer #8 · answered by ♥*´`*ღPink♥*´`*•.¸¸ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't... First of all she is not your best friend if she did that.
NOW for you...
NEVER say anything behind a persons back that you would not say to their face !!!
I have lived by that and IT WORKS... But then I am not afraid to say anything to anyone at anytime.
And yes I have lost a job for it too.
2006-06-25 12:06:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as working with him,your the one that should tell him how you feel and how he makes you feel,giving him a chance to correct himself.and if that doesn't work go to your supervisor.As far as your friend,call her,meet somewhere and tell her your sorry and wish her the best and will always accept her and her choices.
2006-06-25 12:09:00 · answer #10 · answered by rosie w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋