Is it okay for a husband to punch holes in the wall????

Question

I was at my friends house yesterday and granted they have some issues. However the first thing that I noticed was that there were holes in the wall that my friend later told me her husband got pissed and did ( he is 32) So they get into a arguement and she kicks a tv his mother gave to them (19 inch) and leaves the house bc she wasn't in a great mood to be fighting once again. When she got home he had ruined a plant that took her 4 years to grow and a pair of 100.00 shoes, and his reason was bc she kicked a tv that use to b his mothers, so then she kicked the 1500.00 36inch tv and now he wants a divorce. He is materialistic and acts like a spolied brat, I don't know what to say to her she is already under a lot of stress she loss a child a few months ago? Y are men so childish and selfish? What started the fight was that she sensed he was cheating on her and asked him, he still has yet to let it go. I do not want to be in any of their mess what advice can I tell her so won't backfi

As you can probably tell there has been issues with his mother being in their business before so this just really adds fuel to the fire, and he only wanted a divorce after she kicked his tv

I told my friend I put this up here and she wanted me to tell you all she has never retaliated back before but this time she was just fed up and wanted to be left alone

Answer 1

OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT OK!! Violence like that is unacceptable in any relationship. He is punching holes to prove to her his superior strength or something to hold an upper hand in their relationship. Wow. Either they end it now or they end it a year from now. No way can she trust him to honor, protect and cherish her for a lifetime. He "wants" a divorce? She needs one. If I am missing something good in their marriage, good for them. I would tell any woman that a man knows that he isn't supposed to physically threaten any woman... ever. I'm sure he is just great with kids who misbehave. "See the hole daddy just punched in the wall? That might be your head next time, sweetie, so don't wake daddy from his nap ever again because I don't want to hurt you."

Your girlfriend shouldn't have kicked the TV set but I don't blame her for trying to stand up for herself. If her husband was in my circle of friends, my buddies and I would take him out and put the fear of God into him. You just let me hear that you raised your hand in anger against your wife and we'll be all over you with the police on the way. They will haul what is left of your sorry a-s-s to jail to rot. This is a very serious issue. Husband may grow up some day, but not as long as women and his guy friends put up with this kind of sh*t.

Answer 2

Sounds like they need couseling. Try finding a local shrink and just getting the card. As her to dinner and just hand it to her and say, " I'm not trying to but in, but I just want to know you two are okay. You don't have to go, but I'm making an effort because I'm your friend and I love you and want to see you happy." A lot of ppl have anger problems. A nosy mother in law isn't helping either. There isn't a whole lot you can do. It's something the two of them will have to resolve on their own. Just make sure you watch out for bruises and stuff. You want to make sure there is no domestic abuse going on. If there is, try to convince your friend to leave. Nothing is worth getting beaten over. Losing a loved one is hard, but only time can heal that kind of pain. A good shrink could help the process along a lot quicker though. Just a thought and good luck!

Answer 3

It sounds to me as though they are both acting childish in this instance. Adults do not fight by causing damage to each others property. Adults should sit down and talk calmly about their issues and be honest about their concerns. I have seen abusive relationships in the past and most of them start by punching out in-animate objects first, then escalate to the weaker spouse being constantly smacked around. You could try to print all the comments you get from here and show it to both of them. This could help to open their eyes to the marriage destroying behavior they are going through. Good Luck.....hope this helps.

Answer 4

She needs help right now. This type of behavior will escalate into physical violence. It always starts by doing property damage and then moves on to bodily harm. And if they have children involved he may even go after them. Personal experience talking here.....and even of he doesn't go after the kids, this type of behavior is definitely learned. Does she want her kids to grow up and be this way? I am still trying to deal with a son who has his father's anger tendencies and it is not fun.

Answer 5

forget the counseling....the quicker they get away from each other the better...she is only mirroring his behavior by kicking something and of course men have to retaliate...she should have been the grown up and got the heck out of there with all her stuff already

Answer 6

It is only a matter of time before she is the target....This is a bad relationship. She should separate herself from him before it happens and demand to go to counseling.

Unfortunately, the majority of women do not do this and it ends with serious consequences.

Answer 7

no, is not ok. there's a song by ALAN JACKSON,"WHOLE IN THE WALL" i used to do thtat. then play the sond. with a bottle of whiskey in the other hand. it got old. my nuckles are no good now. is not right.!

Answer 8

sounds like they're both nuts. neither of their actions are acceptable. they should split and they should both get professional help.

Answer 9

they both need anger management!!!!!!! it sounds like a very hostile relationship and it sounds like they do need to split

Answer 10

Stay out of it. They will resolve it.