Who would like to help me check and improve my English essay?

Question

As soon as possible, I need it in 4 hours!
Please refer to my blog to read the eassy: My Personal Statement
http://xatom.spaces.msn.com/

Answer 1

I think it is pretty good. A couple suggestions I would make are: Never start a sentence with and, If you want explain more where the places you mention are, and that's all. You dont have to listen to me, I dont want to mess it up.

Answer 2

Check
http://www.whitesmoke.com/landing_flash/grammer.html?agent_camp=1964001&agent_bann=2127001&gclid=CN7i4IfQ4YUCFUyGIgodojpUTg

Answer 3

My Personal Statement

I was born in June 30, 1978 in a worker’s family. My parents were workers in textile factories. My father is from Jixi county, Anhui province which is also Mr Hu Shi and President Hu Jintao’s native place. My mother is from Shanghai. Both of them were sent to work to the rural or mountainous areas during Cultural Revolution. The place where they were sent is Wuwei country, Anhui province, where I was born. I am the only child in my family. I was brought up by my grandma in Shanghai untill six years old, so I can speak the Shanghai dialect.



I was sent back to Wuwei to go to primary school untill five grade when my family moved to Tongling city, Anhui province, for my future life because it is better to find a job in a city than in a country. And my parents quit their jobs in the Wuwei Textile Factory and worked in the Tongling Textile Factory. I finished the primary school in Tongling and continued my junior and senior middle school in Tongling No. 3 Middle School. And we settled down in Tongling untill now.



In 1996, I passed my entrance examination to college and I was enrolled in the Anhui Normal University. The reasons why I chose a normal university are that my family is poor and going to a normal university means a stable job in the future. I chose English as my major lesson because I was good at English and it is a major advantage needed for the market. And it proved half right, when I graduated from the university four years later, when I found a teaching job easily in the Anhui University of Technology and Science. However, the job was not satisfactory because of low salary of RMB yuan 1000 every month and the ridiculous management of the department ruling teachers rigidly.



Then, I decided to get a masters degree. I chose this school partially for my mother’s dream of returning to her hometown-Shanghai. After five years of teaching, I quitted my job and began my postgraduate study.



My wife comes from Lu’an city, Anhui province. We got to know each other in school and we worked in the same university. She is beautiful, smart and kind. I married her three years ago despite of being unable to afford a house. I feel that I owe too much to her, but she cheered me up by saying, “I love you so I married you. It’s you that I marry, not the house. We may rent one if we can not buy one.” However, money is really a big problem to me now.



Life is full of chances and choices. Although I do not know if it is right to choose to pursue an academic study, I know definitely that it is a turning point in my life to come to Shanghai. I should catch this opportunity to gain some work experience in business since I know little about business. It is better to gain some experience to see if this career is suitable for me. Conserning my settlement in Shanghai, I know it is difficult but I would like to try. To review the choices I have made, I find it is hard to say they were good ones or bad ones. I think, in the future, I might continue to teach, mostly as a middle school teacher, or I might choose to work in a company to do some business-related work. No matter what I choose, I know the most important thing is to concentrate on it so that I can succeed.


I am a kind of arty person in arts but not in literature. I have a gift for graphic things; I won many champions in drawing competitions when I was young. Though I like painting very much, I am not able to choose it as my career because I am color-blind. That does not mean I cannot see the colors but just cannot distinguish some of them sometimes. It is another reason for me to choose English as my major since it requires no limit over that. Actually, I am not interested in languages very much, they always defeat me.
( to be continued)


(There you go, I hope I helped...In general your essay is very good, you don't have either many or serious mistakes!).

Answer 4

I am most sorry. It seems as if you are
A. in summer school or
B. in a gifted and talented program.
If a is true you most likly did notmdo attiquate work in the school year therefor I am not helping you. If B is true, you are smart, CHECK THE PAPER YOUR SELF!!!

Answer 5

I was born on June 30, 1978 into a worker’s family in which my parents were both employees in textile factories. My father is from Jixi county, Anhui province which is also Mr. Hu Shi’s and President Hu Jintao’s native birthplace. My mother is from Shanghai. Both of them were sent to work in the rural mountainous areas of Wuwei County, Anhui province during the Cultural Revolution. I am the only child in my family and was raised by my grandmother in Shanghai until I was six years old, so I can speak Shanghai dialect.

I was sent back to Wuwei to go to primary school until fifth grade when my family moved to Tongling City, Anhui province in order to give me better opportunities at finding a job, due to the fact that it is easier to find a job in a city than in a county. My parents quit their jobs in the Wuwei Textile Factory and worked in the Tongling Textile Factory. I finished my primary school in Tongling and continued my junior and senior middle school in Tongling No. 3 Middle School. We are still settled in Tongling now.

In 1996 I passed my entrance examination to college and was enrolled in the Anhui Normal University. The reasons why I chose a standard university are that my family is poor and going to a standard university meant better assurance of a stable job in the future. I chose English as my major, because I felt I had an excellent grasp of the English then, and it is a major in demand within the market. It proved half right, when I graduated from the university four years later. I easily found a teaching job in the Anhui University of Technology and Science, however, the job was not satisfactory because of a low salary of RMB yuan 1000 every month as well as the rigid management of the department ruling teachers. However, I decided to get a master’s degree. I chose this school partially for my mother’s dream of returning to her hometown - Shanghai. After five years of teaching, I quit my job and began my postgraduate study.

My wife comes from Lu’an City, Anhui province. We met each other in school and worked in the same university. She is beautiful, smart and kind. I married her three years ago despite being unable to afford a house. I feel that I owe much to her, but she cheered me up by saying, “I love you so I married you. It’s you that I marry, not the house. We may rent one if we can not buy one.” However, money is a big problem for me now.

Life is full of chances and choices. Though I do not know whether it is right to choose to pursue an academic study, I definitely know that it is a turning point in my life coming to Shanghai. I should utilize this opportunity to gain work experience in business since I know little about business and could improve upon my skills. I feel it is better to gain some experience to see if this career is suitable for me. As for if I will settle down in Shanghai I know it is difficult but I would like to try. To review the choices I have made, I find it is hard to say they are good ones or bad ones. I think, in the future, I might continue to teach, mostly as a middle school teacher, or I might to choose to work in a company doing business-related work. No matter what I choose, I know the most important thing is to concentrate on it so that I can succeed.

I feel that I am decently skilled in arts rather than in literature, as I have a gift for graphic things. I won many champions in drawing competitions when I was young. Though I like painting very much, I am not able to choose it as my career, because I am color-blind. Not being able to distinguish colors at times is another reason for me to choose English as my major since it does not limit me like painting would. I am not interested in languages very much, they always defeat me. Instead I am interested in…

Answer 6

Go to mircosoft word and it will check your spelling and grammar

Answer 7

Send me by E-mail. I can help.

Answer 8

ok

Answer 9

not i!!!