a removed post asked how old a child needs legally be to make this decision... could vary from states to federal? The real question is, how will this affect relations all the way around.
People should not get married if they simply want to have babies. It's not fair to anyone.
2006-06-25 02:55:31 · 12 answers · asked by jimi p 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think people get married to have kids. Most have kids long before they get married.
2006-06-25 02:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by grrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some cases I do feel that the child should have an opinion. In some cases, the child is to tramatized that the child needs to be removed from the situation and be exposed to it as little as possible because if you look at divorce, two people who took an oath under God to love each other until death parted the two, swore under God against infadelity, now are arguing over who gets the summer home, and how much child support and alimony.
I belive that if the mother is a good mother and not unfit, the children should stay with their mother. But I don't agree with the every other weekend stuff for the dad because that isn't being able for the father nor the child to have a real life together.
2006-06-25 10:37:22 · answer #2 · answered by bridetobebrandie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that a court hopefully decides most of these matters. As a child, in a home filled with screaming and fighting, I would always have chosen my mom. But now as an adult I realize that she planned it that way. That she was the dangerous plotter who kept her children close while messing with their heads etc etc. This can often be the case. A child can say "Oh, I know who I should live with." For example, the more lenient parent. But perhaps the more lenient parent is actually less suitable than the parent who puts out boundaries and raises a child with them.
2006-06-27 11:41:50 · answer #3 · answered by WriterMom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child shouldn't have to make this decision. It's not fair to the child. They love both of their parents and they are probably already feeling like they are somehow to blame for the split. It's terrible to ask a child to choose.
The parents should be more adult about the situation! They should find a way to resolve the custody issue without making the child feel torn apart.
2006-06-25 10:22:26 · answer #4 · answered by Squirrel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right ...it is not fair!
If the parents are divorcing, it means they are thinking more of themselves than the children.
If that is the guideline, you can do the same.
Decide which arrangement is best for you.
If you choose Dad, it does not mean you don't love Mom, nor will never see her.
Of course you will have lots to do with her.
However, you are looking out for your best interests ...in the long term.
Or if you choose Mom, you still love and will see Dad.
However, they set the pattern of selfishness and you must follow it to survive into adulthood.
2006-06-25 11:06:10 · answer #5 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parent's were divorced when i was 12, but it was a quite different sustain. i feel the child has not divorced either parent you need to keep reminding both parents of this sustain. They both still have a duty to raise you you need to work out a situation that is best for you, live with one parent during the school year and other one during the summer but find something that works for you.
2006-06-25 10:03:22 · answer #6 · answered by MYRAJEAN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some cases the court will let a child make the choice, I don't know the absolute circumstances in which this takes place. Each state is going to be different, when it happens, it can only make matters worse. LATER!!!!!!
2006-06-25 10:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by veteranpainter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think that divorced parents decided to have a child with a thought like "oh wont it be fun when we arent together anymore and junior has to pick one of us!".
SH!T happens!
my ex and i have a very open joint custody, when my son is old enough to make a choice *if he want to for that matter* on where he wants to live, his father and i will be there to support his decision no matter what it is, AND he knows this.
we do whatever it takes to make sure our son has time with each of us. no matter where he is!
2006-06-25 10:01:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what you mean my sisters had children and involved them in divorces, i wish people thought before they do and it would be better but sometimes you never know, it just happens when people change.however i would hate to have to choose between parents. but if you have to and love them both equally, decide in a matter that is gonna benefit you. like if you go to school what location would be best? where are your friends?just what ever you do never play them,(like dad can do this for me what can you do mom?) cuz that willl just make them argue .and hurt their feelings.good luck, youll see it through!!
2006-06-25 10:03:56 · answer #9 · answered by sweetpea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard ? I have been there and i hated it but u would have to weigh which is the more loving parent and which will give u the better life
2006-06-25 10:01:33 · answer #10 · answered by broken 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋