im 28 and just come out of a 10 yr bad marriage. ihave a friend who we have become sexually involved and i am so scared it keeps me from really getting into it. i want to so bad let go of whatever it is holding me back. everytime after we make love i feel so stupid but my friend keeps telling me he enjoyed it so much and he calls me sexy and saying all the right things that ive wanted to hear for so long. i dont want to mess this up. my husband always told me how bad i was in bed. I want to be good in bed and make my "friend" so satisfied like he does for me.
HELP what can i do toi make my fear go away. i'll like freeze up right brfore we have sex andi wont know what to do or how to act. so i dont do anything except follow his lead
what do i do
2006-06-25 02:07:58 · 23 answers · asked by mustainedroggie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop thinking so hard..follow his lead..and follow what makes you feel good...if it feels good...do it....if it doesn't feel good..don't do it.. It's a primal response... You don't need to think about it so much.. What's making you bad at it, is that you're over thinking it.
Feel good = Yes
Doesn't Feel Good = NO
That's it.. try that the next time
2006-06-25 02:13:04 · answer #1 · answered by RUNINTLKT 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rent a risque movie (NR or x). Its all fake acting but watch the moves and positions.
Have confidence in yourself, it shows. We can tell.
Talk during the act, ask if that feels good, or tell what is good for you. Its nice to know when we hit the right spot.
Take charge sometimes. Use those moves.
Eye contact is good. Facial expressions let us know things are going well.
If (or when) its time for the big O, start acting or just let it out. Whatever happens is ok. If it causes a mess, that's good. Just be vocal, and expressive. Then nice long soft hugs and cuddling.
2006-06-25 03:01:03 · answer #2 · answered by Handsup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
past is the past , let it go, start over, open your heart again , nit all men are the same, when ever you go through something bad learn from it, let your new man know how you feel tell him once you feel comfortable,you will start taking control in bed, learn to take complements, you new man tells you your sexy because he really thinks you are.hear him out , try to relax and free your mind when having sex with him, let him be the one to help you get through this so in the future you don't have to worry about it any more. stop being shy, next time you want to let go just do it. enjoy life now while you are still young.just be your self. be strong girl...
2006-06-25 02:20:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to relax and enjoy it for what it is, sex. Sex can be whatever you want it to be, a sharing of love, a way to show you like a person or a fun way to kill sometime during the day and night. Enjoy it
2006-06-25 02:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ever out in the Delaware area look me up and we can work on this together. :) Relax and look in the mirror and see that your very sexy and beautiful. Shop for some sexy garmets and start feeling good about yourself again wiping away the memories of the loser you were with before.
2006-06-25 02:15:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your doing something right he is still there! lol just try to relax its obvious your putting to much thought into thinking your NOT making him happy that you dont realize you are. but i do encouage you to initiate the first move men are turned on by that it makes them feel important and that your excited about being with him. i bet when you make the first move you will never doubt yourself again that your not pleasing him it will be plain as day to you! good luck sounds like you deserve some happiness
2006-06-25 02:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by lnay69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to be like your not ready to be having sex with this guy or anyone else for that matter sounds like emotionally you need to heal and find you then try to get back on the saddle so to speak
take it slow honey and your new man will respect you
2006-06-25 02:13:13 · answer #7 · answered by jdhoggiebuns 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax. First you must know yourself. What do you like? What do you fantasize about? What do you consider sexy? What do you like in a man? These are questions you must ask and answer for yourself.
Try reading hot, steamy literature like Penthouse letters. This will get your imagination going.
2006-06-25 04:18:54 · answer #8 · answered by i_squeeze 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no absolutely "right" way. Good sex is like good jazz, where the participants feed off each other and improvise. Flow like a gentle wave on the ocean.The reward......the melting warmth of simultaneous orgasm :)
2006-06-25 02:13:24 · answer #9 · answered by johnkmayer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I really think you need to stop thinking during sex. Just let it happen, be yourself. Your free now no one to judge you, no one to criticize. We the two of you come together just enjoy him and enjoy yourself. It will probably take some time but let time heal you, and take the time to improve.
2006-06-25 02:13:15 · answer #10 · answered by ronce_1118 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋