Do you think that bi-sexuality exists? (This is a genuine question.)?

Question

Two gay male friends of mine contend that bi-sexuality is just an excuse for being "en route" between being heterosexual and being homosexual. But a new female co-worker, who is dating a woman, also talks of past male lovers. I think being bi-sexual is just as possible as being straight or gay, but my friends have mixed (strong) opinions. More input please?

Answer 1

Doubtless there are gays or gay friendly people who call themselves bisexual to suit the environment they find themselves in. But that does not describe all of us.

Yes we do exist - and it's a shame that bi-phobic attitudes exist in the homosexual world, just as they do among the heteros.

Sexual orientation ranges from the straightest straight to the gayest gay. What else do you call those of us who fall in the middling range?

Answer 2

It certainly exists -- and in many ways I think it makes more sense, even though I am certified 100% gay.

Many people do say they are bisexual when they are first coming out because it feels easier on them to do so. I've known many people who did so. I've heard several of them talk about it as an "excuse" so I think they harbor a prejudice against bisexuals.

Of course, your friends would also have to belive that it would work the other way around, as well. If someone who has been Homosexual begins to have Heterosexual feelings, then they would also be "en route," which happens frequently. No one knows why -- not even sex researchers.

Sexuality is not easily pigeonholed. It changes and has different degrees of attraction for each person. But, prejudice exists. maybe if they were confronted by a bisexual -- could your co-worker joing you all for dinner some evening to educate them?

Answer 3

I think your friends are as unaware of true human sexuality as many Christians who contend that homosexuality is but a choice.

Kinsey Speech #17:
Dr. Alfred Kinsey was the first modern pioneer in the field of human sexuality. He maintained that the three subdivisions of sexual attraction (homo-, bi-, and heterosexual) were inadequate to describe the range of emotions and attractions he observed in his subjects. He developed a 7-pt scale, wherein 0 represented a true heterosexual, 6 represented a true homosexual, and 1-5 signified everyone else - about 40% of the population. People who are Kinsey 1's, for example, will almost invariably identify with the heterosexual community, even though they have slight inclinations towards the same sex. K5's, on the other hand, usually describe themselves as gay instead if bi, because that is where the majority of their attraction lies. Everyone from K1's to K5's could be considered bisexual, while only K3s have equal attraction towards both sexes.

I consider myself a K4.5. I like girls a lot, but there are a few boys to whom I am also attracted. From my standpoint, I can tell your friends that bisexuality does exist.

Hope this helps, and have a pleasant day!

Answer 4

Personally, I feel that since we live in a heterosexual world, it's just a safe thing to do so that friends and family don't have to be told of "the secret". I also feel that it's a total cop out. I feel that if you're honestly true to yourself, most importantly, you'll admit to being one or the other. I do not feel as though there is an in-between. The strong opinions that your friend have, I feel are his/her safe zone. True lesbians or gays(again in my opinion) will never truly be attracted to the opposite sex, just as I feel that true heterosexuals would never be attracted to the same sex. Yes there are some femme's, stud's, and soft stud's that may have biological children, but it was because they didn't want to come-out to their family at the time. I'm not referring to those that chose to have a baby as a couple, that's a whole new conversation, in which I feel is to each es own. I feel the same way If a gay person has his own biological child. I'm not trying to offend anyone one way or the other, remember that this is open forum, as is based on one person's opinion, regardless how that opinion manifested .

Answer 5

I am bi-sexual and I could leave it at that....however, you asked for more input. I am not being "en route" to being either completely gay, nor straight. Since I was about 7 I have been physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted to both sexes.
How would your gay males friends know what bi-sexuality really is if they are gay themselves??

Answer 6

Bisexuality really does exist, and is a valid sexual orientation in its own right. Some people might identify as bisexual whilst in transition from/to homosexuality/heterosexuality but there are many people who remain bisexual for their whole lives. Also, some people who are bisexual might identify as homosexual or heterosexual (depending on who their partner is) in order to gain acceptance from their community. All the above probably accounts for why your homosexual friends think bisexuality isn't real.

When a homosexual tries to internalise the beliefs/views of heterosexuals, they end up feeling as though there's something wrong with them i.e. everyone else fancies the opposite sex, why don't I? The discovery of the homosexual community helps homosexuals tremendously.

However, a bisexual has an even greater problem because they don't fit neatly into the homosexual or heterosexual communities. The lack of a visible bisexual community ensures that bisexuals feel isolated and different. Bisexuals feel confused, especially when their attractions seem to vary over a period of time; one minute - homosexual, one minute - heterosexual. This confusion (and anxiety) is caused by internalising society's requirement to identify as gay or straight.

Bisexuality takes many different forms. Some people alternate between genders when choosing partners, and others have open relationships with members of both genders. Some bisexuals will only have sex with one gender, or can switch genders for motivational purposes (family acceptance, lack of availabilty of desired gender or income as a gay escort etc).

A popular misconception surrounding bisexuality is that bisexuals are not capable of monogamous relationships and will ditch you for a member of the same/oppsite gender. Bisexuals are no more likely to be unfaithful than their homosexual or heterosexual counterparts.

Bisexuals usually prefer one gender to the other, but cannot deny their attraction to the second one. One doesn't have to be 50/50 to be bisexual. The term bisexual means the ability to have sexual and/or romantic attraction/relations with members of either sex.

Yet another misconception is that bisexuals are greedy. In reality, a bisexual will fancy the same amount of people as a homosexual/heterosexual, but these will be from both genders. In a room of 20 really attractive people (10 males and 10 females), a homosexual may fancy 4 males, a heterosexual may fancy 4 females, and a bisexual may facy 2 males and 2 females. In reality, one isn't going to fall for 40% of people they meet - these figures are exaggerated to explain my point. Also, physical looks don't always factor in people when choosing a partner.

Answer 7

Something tells me your friends never put on a pair of women's shoes before.

When I say this, I simply mean that they have never been desperate for love.

As a bi-sexual woman, it was all about finding love.

I have been dedicated to a man for years now and he knows I'm bi-sexual.

When I was single, if a woman or man had a good head on their shoulders and looked hot, I was after them.

Your pals are so deep in the rabbit hole of style that they think people are bisexual for the flare of queenliness in the homosexual community.

Your friends are a riot.

If they feel so strongly about this, why don't they go find bisexuals to assault and beat to a bloody pulp because we went "en route" into their homes and stole their fashion sense.

Answer 8

Yes bi-sexuality exists.

I have been with men before but once I came out I have never be with one again. I think being bi-sexual is when you are continuously with a man then a woman through out your sexual life.

For me I remained with men because I was afraid to come out. I find me to be attractive but I am not sexually attracted to them. I would rather be with a woman for so many reasons.

Bi-sexuality is fine as long as that person remains faithful to the person they are with at that time and is safe in their sexual encounters.

Answer 9

I usually have three answers to this question: 1) I fall in love with the person and not the gender, 2) I dislike both genders equally, and my new favorite 3) bi me something and I will get sexual...

Answer 10

Yes bi-sexuality is real and not a cope out. I'm still attracted to men, I just don't want one right now. Like Shane says, "Sexuality is fluid"