I have loved someone for a year and some months and just recently found out that they are still legally married to someone else and didnt admit it until I searched their stuff. Of course they were all apologies, but they cant file for divorce because there will be repercussions by the ex who still wants him back and has his son. She has been known to withhold visitation before, out of anger and once disappeared for six months with the child. he says he didnt tell me because he loved me and didnt think I would understand and then leave him. Since my love is not available to me on paper, and cant say when this situation will ever be resolved, what the hell should I do? I love him, but come on...This nags at me alot. We fight about it,-it's a horrible situation. Help.
2006-06-25 00:16:47 · 13 answers · asked by leah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh, no, no. I'm really sorry, but a man who loves does not withhold this sort of crucial information. This is a really, really important part of his life which he deliberately kept you ignorant of. That's not a good sign for the future at all. The problem isn't the existence of a marriage and a child, but the fact that the man didn't tell you about it. It's not possible to trust someone who keeps that sort of information from you for so long. If he truly loved you in a healthy, trustworthy way, with a love worth having, he would have told you all about this a long time ago. I think it is time for you to find someone who can be as honest with you as you probably deserve. This is a serious deception, and don't try to pretend it isn't. Find someone you can trust, through thick and thin, to the bitter end.
2006-06-25 00:28:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
well first of all he didn't think much about u or ur relationship to come clean and tell you this upfront so that u could make ur own decision. He kept it from you and pretty much made the decision for you. Which says a lot. Maybe it isn't the fact that he can't leave his wife maybe it's jus simply he doesn't want to.. I would assume no divorce is easy, so it sounds like an excuse to me.. It seems as though he's tryna have his cake and eat it too. I would say to you that u need to ask urself honestly is this someone that ur willing to wait around for when u could be out there living ur life wit someone else who's free to love u the right way. You say when u try to talk to him about the situation u always fight about it. Well, maybe he's tryin to avoid talkin about it because he kno's what his intentions are..
2006-06-25 02:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This butt wipe deceived you and you need to look forward (run!) and don't look back. You now have knowledge that there is a marriage involved. That is locked! "Let no man put asunder!?" Sound familiar. You can't touch a marriage without even more painful repercussions than you've already experienced. You've got to break up with him honey. Thank God you only wasted a year and a half, a looooong time but not as long as it could have been had you not been wise enough to snoop. Run, Girl, Run!! Godspeed to you. Someone great, unattached, loving, fine and honest is just waiting and searching for you honey. I promise.
2006-06-25 00:50:47 · answer #3 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't wait on him, if he loves you he should have told you already he was still married, better yet getting a divorce, don't let his stories tell you any different or make you feel understanding. there are many ways to avoid the ex , she can't keep using the son to try and get him back or keep him from being with you, he needs to take charge in that one, but as of now you should leave him, go on with your life because his is already taken, and he don't want to give that up or he would have done it a year ago.
2006-06-25 00:30:46 · answer #4 · answered by jenna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for starters...if he didn't tell you about the ex voluntarily on his own without you busting him; how long do you think he would have gone without telling you anything at all.
probably NEVER. honey, wake up! this man has you just where he wanted you. dumb to the knowledge of his life. how can you have an open honest relationship with someone if they aren't even willing to share with you important info..such as his wife and son!
he wont ever be in a place where he says..okay for you ill divorce her...blah! he's got his cake and he's eating it too.
find a man that is proud to be in your life, and proud to let you be in his.
besides....what if this guy leaves his ex *whom isn't really his ex unless the are divorced ya know*, and you get married or living together, how will you know he wont do this to you too eventually?
you cant be sure of that...this guy has shown himself to be completely untruest worthy. and UNWORTHY of you.
if it was me,. the first thing i would have done when i found out...would be to smack that idiot over the head with a blunt object...the next would be to step over his limp body and walk away from him forever!
go find someone worthy of your trust, you love, your time, and your heart!
2006-06-25 01:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....this is a sticky situation....and one that you shouldn't have been put in in the first place. By not telling you his situation he lied to you. What else is he lying about?? They CAN'T file for divorce????? Bull!! Of course he can file for divorce...he just chooses not to...so what does that tell you about how important you are to him?? I know you love him, but cut him loose and move on. Life's too short to be waiting for him to decide whether or not he still wants to be married to his wife. Men who are in that situation usually do not divorce...they go back to their wives and families. You take the upper hand and YOU break it off before he does....and he will.
2006-06-25 00:24:59 · answer #6 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, pack your bags! Move as far away as possible. If he really loves you, he will find a way to make things right, and when he does, then consider taking him back. Things will never, never move forward for the two of you in this situation.
2006-06-25 00:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've only heard his side of this, so maybe he doesn't want to get rid of her. There are courts , to allow him to be with his child. He could work it out if he really wanted to. He should have been honest with you. You can hope for as long as you want, but I don't think I would waste my time on waiting. Move on. If he wants you bad enough, he will do what he has to.
2006-06-25 02:13:58 · answer #8 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not consider him your love. He wants his cake and eat it too. Be good to yourself, find yourself a single guy who loves you. Why benefit a man who already has a wife? spare some love for single guys.
2006-06-25 00:37:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont waste ur time for married couple
2006-06-25 00:21:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋