Tell a funniest joke.?

Question

I am too sad

Answer 1

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here." The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese your all the same," replied Spielberg. In return, the Chinese man gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese man, replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

Answer 2

A mother is concerned that her son is not very well developed 'down there' and despite her husband's reasurrances that all will be well soon, takes her son to the doctor.
The doctor examines the son and says that it would dangerous to give him any drugs for this condition as the side-effects are dangerous.
The mother is still concerned and asks if there is any other cure. The doctor says the only other remedy without any side effects is to eat hot buttered toast, every day, for breakfast.
The mother takes her son home and next day he comes down to breakfast to find a plate piled high with hot buttered toast. Are all these for me? he asks. No son, the mother replys. There's one piece for you and the rest are for your father.

Answer 3

I know some jokes but don't know funniest joke

Answer 4

Well, seems there were these 2 guys who were members of
the local Elk's Club who really wanted to go out and get some
hookers, but they were low on cash, sooooooo they decided
to blow a couple of bucks anyway............

Or, option 2): What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?

A: You can drop her off anywhere.

Answer 5

An American man in Glasgow walks past a small Scottish boy who is smoking a cigarette,he says to the boy your too younge to smoke to which the boy replies thats fu ck all last night i had sex with a woman,the American man says thats awful where did this happen and the boy replied i canny remember i was pissed........

Answer 6

A man appears before the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing...." the man offers. "Once I came upon gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him: "Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me!"
St. Peter was very impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."

Answer 7

Letter to the television broadcaster"Please during the news don't release at the bottom of the screen creeping line.My mother-in-law thinks that it is a karaoke and sings"

Answer 8

Once a man was walking in a road and thinking that he was the sadest person in this world. He then saw a begger , a worker and a patient.
He understood he was wrong.

Answer 9

A tortoise goes into a Pub.. and the Landlord shouts; "get out.. no animals in here" the tortoise says; "i only want a lemonade" the landlord takes the tortoise and puts him out the door....
A year later, the tortoise comes in again and says; "what did you do that for?"

Answer 10

once a king fixed one Green n one Red Flag in a vast land and ordered his male public that those who are scared of their wives shud stand under the Green Flag and thos who are not shud go under the Red Flag. All the men stood under green flag except one of them....The king and his officials were really surprised and asked him are u not afraid of ur wife ?? He told, " I M." Then the king asked if u r then why did u choose the red flag he then said BECAUSE MY WIFE HAD SAID IT WOULD NOT BE GOOD FOR U IF U DON'T STAND UNDER THE RED FLAG

Answer 11

an accountant came home about three hours late, from work. His wife asked him were he had been. He said "Well, i got a tattoo" "But you hate those things, what did you possibly get a tattoo of?" she asked. "I got a tattoo of a hundred dollar bill" "Where would you possibly put that?" "My d!ck" "Why" "...Well i like to watch my money grow, and i like playing with my money, and instead of going to the mall and wasting money, you can stay home and blow a hundred dollars all you want"