Considering divorce.... need advice?

Question

Ok, here goes, got married at 23 to 34 year old girl from Brazil. She had 7 yr old son, who lived in Brazil at time. Married after one year of dating. Didn't get to know her well, but learned to speak Portuguese very well, and we got along pretty well first few years. We had a child together, he is 7 now, and he is adorable. Her son came to live with us after our son was born, and it was all downhill from there. 10 years later she wants to separate, and she has always refused to go with me to marriage counseling. She's been diagnosed with depression, but refuses to deal with that too. Now I'm depressed from putting up with her for so long, going back to my old, bad habits. Long story... but I've worked my butt off to go back to college, get a 4 yr degree, and bought house together. She took her ring off years ago, and we haven't slept in same room for over a year..... Any hope left. We avoid each other, and it sux....

Answer 1

i think you need to ask yourself if the whole thing is really worth it, i mean if you think it is then you need to work with all your might to try and fix whats wrong, maybe you should just try counseling by yourself so that you can get yourself together. Maybe that will further help you to determine if this is really the woman for you.

Answer 2

At least u have one good thing that came out of that marriage, ur son! (oh and u learned Portuguese). I happen to be married wit children and i think it's great. But this sounds like u've pretty much reached the end of ur unhappy marriage. I think u should cut ur losses and leave now. Whateva bad habits that u've started back doin can't be a good thing. U need to pick urself up for u and ur son and find a way out this situation. There's always help u just have to seek it.

Answer 3

Let her go.

You need to have a complete life you cannot be in separate rooms. You need sex and possibly this is what she is hoping to do push you into an affair and catch you.

Once caught she can then get a lot out of you via the courts.

Good Luck and don't hesitate tell her you agree

Answer 4

Sir I honestly feel terrible for you. She sounds like she has someone else. You love your son so do everything you can to make it work. ANy friends of hers you can talk to to get them to intercede for you? She may listen to the same perspective coming from another trusted individual. Look into why she feels this way and if its because of some negative actions of the past you must make the changes and show her constant love. Sir keep being a father to your son he needs you.

Answer 5

No there is no hope for that marriage.. that's why they have divorces for marriages like yours.. take ur losses and go get a divorce. and don't forget 1/2 custody of ur boy.

Answer 6

that is a problem.....c'mon u've been married happily for 11 years... and u wanna sacrifice all that.....no....c'mon....i suggest u sit with her and discuss this properly.....talk to each other and make both of u remember the way u guys first got married or before u were married.....how did u both love each other before....and try to repeat those sweet memorys back.....u do that.

Answer 7

1

Answer 8

Sounds like a typical marriage that needs to end....

Answer 9

do it for your self and her and the kid. it will suk becouse of leagel fees and how mutch you might lose in stuf. why be miserable. stay good with the kid.and enjoy your new found life.

Answer 10

Get a divorce. ASAP. Sorry it ended badly for you.