baby due-teacher-45 min drive.Might not go back, but will miss $.Hubby has good job.maternity leave or quit?

Question

I am really having a hard time deciding how much time to take off from teaching. I am thinking about quitting and getting back in to it when my child is a little older or until a closer job comes open. I am due in Sept. I work 45 min away and wouldn't get home until 5:30 every night. My husband could support us, but I hate not having my own money. I would need to budget better. I worry about my self worth if I don't teach. I do like my job but am afraid of having other people practically raise my child. This is really stressing me out! I am almost 26 years old. I already quit coaching b-ball. People at work like me. I would be afraid of letting people down. Is it bad that I have waited until almost July to inform them that I don't plan to return? (if that's what I decide to do) I grew up with babysitters and turned out good...although I have some bad memories of baby sitters and other kids that were there. I don't know who I would trust to watch my baby. Teachers do get summers off.

Answer 1

Most teachers go back to 1/2 days for awhile to test the waters so to speak.

Maybe a family member could watch your child for you.

Answer 2

Do you not think it would have been a good and sensible thing to to to have resolved all these difficulties BEFORE you decided to become pregnant?? Huh??
It's your baby, and your husbands. Do what you have to do but don't pass it out to strangers like it was a dog going into kennels. A baby needs it's parents around. That's you and hubby, not a childminder, babysitter, nursery assistant etc..etc..
It makes me rage with anger when all these parents have children and within six months, they are back at work shuttling their babies here there and everywhere. Then, when they miss out on the milestones that every parent should see, they cry and snuffle, on and on about how bad they feel.
Make a decision - material gain and keeping up with the Jones's (that's a British saying) or looking after your baby yourself. You will never get the chance to go back.
By the way - it's nothing to do with teaching. There are many millions of people in different jobs who are just as improtant as you who have the same dilemmas. Teachers can do supply for £180 per day where I live. What's the problem?

Answer 3

I too have an issue with having someone else raise my child, so I am a stay at home mom. I am now 28 and my son is 2, so I was 26 and "in your shoes". I will always recommend parents raising their own kids, but some women just can't.

If you really want to raise your baby yourself, you might consider working at a day care center where you can monitor and spend time with your child or possibly doing home day care. You could also join a club with other stay-at-home moms or volunteer with some youth organizations. It sounds like you need to be involved with children and have a cause as well as raising your own child.

You should test the waters of being a stay at home mom and see if it works for you and then introduce other options. Your life will change a lot when you bring your little one home, you should just go with it and decide what will work best for you.

I don't know how hard it is to get back into teaching if you have given notice that you aren't coming back, so you will need to look into that.

Best of luck and congratulations!

Answer 4

I presume that you and your husband wanted a child, and now it is on the way. So you have to get ready to start your committment to the new life and to start the most important job that is on Earth: being a parent.

Being a teacher is great. It is a fine profession, and very important to society. But much more important is to be a parent, and in your case a mother, which even ranks above being a father. You should give your child all the time and attention that you can afford. If you don't do that, you will regret it later, when you realise that strangers have messed-up your child and it is too late to eliminate the damage.

You say that you want to be independent and have your own money etc. etc.
Well, you should have thought of that before getting married and having a child. Being married means to share everything with your partner. Since he makes enough money, what is your problem?
And having a child is the most important thing one can do during a lifetime. So if you want my advise: Stay at home with and for your child, be a good wife and mother, and create happiness. If, at some later stage, you want to return to teaching, there should be no problem. Good teachers are always needed.
But even more so are good mothers!

Answer 5

You are due right when school starts, so that makes it a bit hard. You won't know for sure how you feel until after the baby comes - I had no idea how much I would love being a stay at home mother. I just couldn't imagine having to go back to work and leave my dear sweet precious little baby in the care of someone else! Not having you own money is a bit hard, but maybe you could do a home party plan or something like that. It depends on your financial needs and spending habits.

Answer 6

From my experience when you have that little bundle of joy you are not going to want to leave him/her. I would quit. No, it's not bad that you are telling them now. It's better than telling them the day you are scheduled to return. They are only young once and your baby needs you now.
I loved my job and quit the day I was supposed to return to work (also could not find day care and 9 months later still can't). I didn't burn any bridges. Financially it's challenging but if you can stay home at least for the first year you won't miss the money. The money will return but the first milestones, the first EVERYTHING won't return. Stay in touch with the school, see if there are classes you can take to keep up to date. Get involved with a group like Mommy & Me.You will never regret staying home with your baby.
In my opinion there is no job more important in the world than raising the next generation.

Answer 7

Motherhood and raising your children is a Full Time Job. In an ideal world, it should be accorded as much status as any other job . I don't think you should feel guilty about leaving the formal job market in order to give your child the best start in life. What's more, you are in a field where getting back would not be difficult.

Your fear of becoming financially dependent is understandable.Perhaps when your baby is a few months old you could go back to teaching part time. It will enable you to have some minimum financial independence, will also enable you to remain in touch with your profession, and give you some social life.
Talk it out with your partner let him know how you feel...
I hope this helps.

Answer 8

Can you maybe work part-time? If not then i think it would be a good idea to stay with your baby for something like three years.
There are so many mothers that don't have that choice and would love to make the most of their child! And they say that some children can have security and confidence issues when they're older if they were left with babysitters a lot in their early years.
However, I'm a hypocrite for saying that because I'm on maternity leave and will be going back to work when my baby is nearly 5 months old as I have a business with my partner and don't feel at ease leaving someone else to run it with him in my place, don't want it all to go downhill!
But I'm having such a great time looking after my baby girl!

Answer 9

Why don't you go back part-time? Then you have the best of both worlds.
You can be Mummy for half the working week and the weekends, so you will have the most contact with him/her, and you won't miss too much.
You can keep up to date with the teaching lark, cos so much changes so quickly, by the time your little one is old enough in your mind for you to return you will stress yourself out getting to know what's happening!
You will still have your own money and the confidence that having 'a place in Society' (teacher ~ not 'just a Mum') brings. I had three children and stayed at home, doing part time bitty jobs evenings and weekends, I was shattered.
Then I had another baby just after I had returned to education, she ended up going to Nursery at Uni, playschool and preschool and I fitted in bringing, her up! She is a very confident, happy, bright 11 year old, just passed 11 plus to go Grammar school. If I were you I would definitely go back part time. Phew!

Answer 10

Hi. Being a good mother does not mean staying at home with your baby. Fathers rarely do this, does that make them bad fathers? No it does not. We don't need to be at home to be good wives and mothers. A depressed, isolated new mum cannot be expected to create the perfect family home. My son is 15 now. I was your age when I had him and I did a graduated return to work. I am a lawyer and I worked hard to get here. I did not feel guilty when I left him. He went to a day nursery and had lots of attention and other kids to play with. On days I stayed home we were inseparable. My son is a well balanced confident person. He has no problems socialising and my bond with him remains strong. He is proud of my career and wishes to become a barrister himself. I made certain I was happy in order to raise my child in a happy atmosphere. Don't relinquish your career if you don't want to. You can work and be a great mom. Men do it all the time.

Answer 11

I just had my daughter last Sept. I would totally recommend staying home- at LEAST for the first year or so....

I have done so much reading on the issue of babies bonding with there mothers... and yes, you turned out OK, but your baby could turn out BETTER, if you stay home. The first year is crucial, not only that, but it is hard on babies to be with strangers.

I bet when you have your baby, it will break your heart to leave.

Another thing I wanted to bring up is this: being a mom is ALL ABOUT SACRIFICE!! Sometimes is is soo hard for me to stay home all day with my daughter, but when I actually think about what is best for her - I KNOW I am doing the right thing. It really does just feel right.

Try to do some reading up on the benefits of staying home with your daughter in order to help you make your decision - just do a google search, lots of things will come up!

Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Being a mom is the best thing in the world!!!