We use to love each other but as time goes by it seem to fade off. The only thing that keeping us together is our son. Bcoz of him we try to accomodate each other. Other than sex; I dont feel the love or spark anymore....
2006-06-24 19:12:18 · 21 answers · asked by innuendo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage takes work. Any relationship you're going to have takes work. Just because you've fallen out of love with each other, are you going to go to the next person and the next person and the next person every time you fall out of love with someone? Work on your marriage first and if you've tried your hardest and your spouse doesn't reciprocate, than you can earn a divorce.
Don't expect your wife to be all lovey dovey towards you first, you start making the moves first. Ask your wife how's her day and if she is busy doing something, offer to help, clean the house, draw your wife a bubble bath, take her out to the movies, take her out to dinner, don't argue with her, compliment her looks/her hair/dress, etc. Wake up each morning and ask yourself "What can I do to make my wife's day easier for her?" When you do those things for your wife, your wife will appreciate you more and start falling in love with you again and she may reciprocate MORE because of all the things you've done for her. So try these simple techniques first and see if you can save your marriage.
2006-06-24 19:25:49 · answer #1 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you both are on the same page and say love is lost then why keep beating a dead horse ? As for your son show him that some times things change . That people fall out of love and that, that is OK and a normal part of life. Don't show him that the norm is it hide the problem and put on a show to keep the peace. He sees everything you and your wife do and say. But most of all let him that he has nothing to do with it that he didn't do anything wrong. And that no matter what happens down the road that you and your wife love him and that will never change. Things happen , people change, it never stops, things don't always work out the way we thought it would that's part of life. no one can tell you want to do or make that choice for you. But they can give you the tools you need to what it is you need to do. How you use them is up to you.
2006-06-25 06:12:12 · answer #2 · answered by skipperrocky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stay together for the sake of your son. That is one of the worse things you can do. The child will be able to sense the tension between you and your wife and it might hurt him. Sometimes love will fade in relationships and you have to find new ways to get the spark back. But if that doesn't work, then you should go your separate ways.
2006-06-25 02:19:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First a little grammar lesson. Your question should read "My wife and I are not on speaking terms" Now how old is your son? Your wife must spark you enough if your still able to have sex. You should think long and hard about being a part time dad. Your son is the one that is going to pay the biggest price.
2006-06-25 02:20:59 · answer #4 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the approach I would take: Try absolutely EVERYTHING before considering divorce. Think back at the things that got you two together in the first place... Remember the excitement, the happiness, the moments when you two knew in your hearts that you would be together forever... What was it like then? What were you doing then? What were the little things that made a world of difference? Like calling the other while at work just to remind him/her you're in his/her thoughts... adding a sexy note in the lunch sandwich, a surprise gift of smelly bubbles by the tub, a surprise round of tickets to an exotic trip... What was it like back then? Can you try and bring some of that back? Perhaps some counseling can intervene and help?
2006-06-25 02:20:14 · answer #5 · answered by Shoshana S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are not a reason to be miserable any more. The law will make sure they are cared for in a divorce. Have you two had an open discussion on why this could have come about other than time taking its toll? A talk may bring out the scenarios that both of you could have taken out of content and have you reassess your lives together.
2006-06-25 02:20:00 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before making any decision first try to evaluate your relationship. This is someone you once loved and just as easy people fall out of love they can fall on love again. It first requires dedication and hard work. If however you do not feel one ounce of love maybe you should go seperate ways but you have to look deeeper than the obvious. Many times couples feel like they hate and despise each other but it can be many things that mask that such as debt or infidelity lack of communication. etc.
2006-06-25 02:25:39 · answer #7 · answered by Serenity 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I divorced my husband when we got like this. Big mistake. You have a child that is depending on his mom and dad to take care of him. My daughter looks back and she remembers being shipped from one house to the next., 2 sets of clothes, 2 sets of friends, 2 bedrooms, her step mom wouldnt allow a picture of me in her room. Had I have thought of the consequences of her life, I would have tried to remember what attracted me to my hubby to start with. I woulda dressed up for him, told him I was proud of him , appreciative of the hard work he did and made him feel a little more special. When babies come along, mom has to spend so much time and energy taking care of it, she's tired and dad gets forgotten. If you guys could just rekindle the flame, your son will remember camping trips with mom and dad or trips to the beach with both of you..... not always spending time missing the other one!!!!!!!!! Give familiy a chance, dont just throw it away. You'll find out the grass isnt greener on the other side, and will just start over with someone new. It wont be worth it
2006-06-25 03:57:36 · answer #8 · answered by Tra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you talk to your son tell him it is not his fault but mommy and daddy can no longer be to gether you don't hate each other you still can be friends and your son will see you are happyer apaet but don't date right away stay single for a while incase the spark returns you never know if you two adaults act mature he will be alright and don't make him choose between the 2 of you eather.
2006-06-25 02:43:22 · answer #9 · answered by sandy36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a choice, not a feeling. The "spark" will come and go, and usally it will go. Love is a commitment, to be with the person no matter what. Don't base love on some kind of feeling, real love is when you stick it out no matter what.
Read Need_some_answers answer. It's very very good!!
2006-06-25 02:16:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋