Dear African American Women?

Question

I assume that the African American women who are on yahoo answers are of some intelligence and could give me insight into the world of black women. I am an African American female, I grew up in a very diverse neighborhood. I did not socialize a whole lot with blacks because there wasnt many. I do not have a black culture and do not understand alot about black women. I consider myself to be an American and human.. I trully only see color lines with African Americans. I recieve so much attitude and blatant hatred towards me based on the way that I carry myself. I do not understand the basis of this behavior. I know some is due to ignorance but to most I believe it to be based on intimidation. What do you think? Its a question that puzzles me .. even into my adulthood?

Answer 1

Dang... I have the same problem. I always get the I don't act black or speak like a black person... it's lame. I believe that people buy into these stereotypes formed by society and when you and I don't fit that we must be the opposite. Why can't we all be American? People need to attach these labels to make their selves feel better for they dare not step out of their comfort zone.

It saddens me that people are so ignorant when it comes to this. Why are they so worried about me not fitting into a ultra lame stereotype. And another thing that gets to me is that if a don't "sound or act black" then i "sound or act white" what is that about? Only white people speak proper? only white people sound a certain way? only white people like alternative music? Last time that did not apply to black people.

grrr... well i hope this kinda-sorta answers your question... i asked a few questions about this as well, check out what others think as well:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuSyTT9twOjRIO15.q3gJK_sy6IX?qid=1006051918711


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Agatji3CT0Yg8D3SoVekWBvsy6IX?qid=1006052020252

Answer 2

I have the EXACT problem although it has gotten better since I've begun college and can control who I spend time with. I think that we as African-Americans are faced with is that we have absorbed the stereotypes that whites have put on us so much that we have accepted them and if we encounter blacks who don't fit into the "box" of what an African American should be we aliente them. In high school people said I acted white because I didn't talk cursing every other word and using slang all the time. I grew up in an upper-middle class neighborhood and people knew about that right away and alienated me because of it. Now it's hard for me to be in all-black situations unless its church where everyone has known me since I was 4. It's sad but another effect of racism by whites.

Answer 3

You said it best! It's usually because of ignorance on their part. Some people are don't realized that Afro-Americans have morals and self esteem about themselves compared to some who don't want improvements. I've been made fun of when I was in High School because of my acccent. I live in the South but Some people believe that I'm from the northern part of the states. Go figure? Be encourage. Have a blessed day.

Answer 4

What the fuc you want again? I can't be readin' all this sh!t. What was the point again? I mean I gets attitude too from sisters. Everybody pissed off. Everybody broke or ugly and fat stressed out. Is you acting all prissy and talk like a white chick? That piss me off. I mean being black in white America means sh!t. TV be showing whites Europeans as the beauty standard. If you black only the half breeds is considered sexy. No dark choclate woman like me get any play from noone. Few nickle slick brothers try and get something something but that's it. What the fuc I got ? Nothing!!!

Answer 5

Same here, spent most of my time in foreign private schools and mostly a loner kid who did what she wanted. I've had the comment sometimes where I've been told I act white at first but the response is nope that's me being me...take it or leave it. Yet, I've found that I get along with pretty much everyone and realized that it's a little bit of a culture thing and something of a cautious reflex in some American black women(not all). Like an automatic armor of mistrust/ fight or flight response. They seem to feel that they have to fight to be respected or be heard, rightly so because sometimes they have to do it but it becomes an insane habit in a you or me mental trip.

I treat it like I treat everyone so I don't make myself a martyr (usually 90% of the attitude is never about you)

1. I don't accept bad behavior/attitude nor do I have the time play that game with them or anyone else regardless of race, creed or class.

2. Respect people and don't expect them to always behave the way you want them to. It's okay if some people don't like you on this planet....it's life. Continue to be yourself it's not that hard in America unless you're starved for love or get weak under peer pressure.

3. I don't act hurt or fragile with every comment or hairy eyeball against me. When you let a stranger have that control of your emotions and allow them see that they can control you like that..it's all down hill hence they will keep up the attitude they have power over you.

3. I'm not afraid to stand up for myself. They realize their options with me are to be friends, respectfully work with each other or we need not have anything to do with each other. Same thing happens with some women(regardless of race) who have a high position at work feel that they always have to fight to be heard or respected so they end up acting like a hose beast straight out of hell even if there's nothing to fight for.

I think that you should spend time getting to know some of your sisters regardless of attitude. It seems to take them some time to warm up. Also try to not bring that attitude of all american black women having attitude especially when you don't care to spend time interacting with them - if you can't respect them what makes you think they'll respect you too? I find that when you're looking for the worse in people you usually will find it. I have to say I treasure my friendships with women of different races and love the uniqueness of everyone of them..I think it helped by meeting them halfway and understanding who they are. The black American female friends that I have are fierce loyal friends to me and strong secure women who are not afraid to tell me whats what - I'm glad to know and love them for who they are.

Answer 6

Ummm im biracial and me n my biracial friends deal with the same thing. We think the true answer goes further back than most of us know. Although it is wrong to judge people according to how they carry themselves, that does have alot to do with it and the we think were better than every body view too...so much to say not enough time or room. Just know that your not the problem.Seriously.Nothing towards them but just know that.

Answer 7

well how i was raised theres really no such thing as black or white..so what if we have different skin colors. why does that matter so much? and this one really gets me...what the heck does acting black or acting white mean? it makes no sense. if the way we acted lined up with our skin color then things would be much different. the way we act and who we are has nothing to do with what we look like on the outside. just be yourself based on who u are on the inside..forget what ur skin looks like. it doesnt matter.

Answer 8

to me it is hatred, t.v. and the way u were brought up but 1 thing i have noticed is that if u are black and yur skin is very fair blacks are as racist as whites if not more. u kinda expect if from whites and even others races, i see it in there eyes when they look at certain members of my family and even my self but to see it and experience it from yur own it is very dishearten good luck

Answer 9

I understand the dilemma, but there are people who aren't gonna like you no matter what. If you talk proper, people think you're trying to be white. You talk slang, people think you're ignorant. Stop complaining. Our ancestors experienced REAL racism. You should get in touch with your roots, fast.

Answer 10

You are being viewed as a sellout. They look at you and think that YOU think you are better then them. You are ashamed of being who you are...blah, blah, blah. I could go on and on.
Just live your life. You don't have to please anyone and you need to just be who you are. It's not easy. TRUST me. I go through the same sh#t but being "fake" is even worse.