I have a friend who recently lost her husband 2 1/2 months ago. She has already taken off her wedding ring?

Question

I thought I might be a little sensitive about the situation, but my daughters commented about it to me today and they seemed a little disturbed also. I feel that this is a little soon, but then again I am not in her shoes....help me out here!

Answer 1

its not necessary for u to fell sympathetic... infact the last thing she would want from u is sympathy.. she would probably want u to treat her like everything is fine just be normal and when she does start talking about her grief listen to her and comfort her help her if she needs ur help but dont sympathise just understand her grief and be there for her she need u now the most.. u DONT HAVE TO FEEL SORRY just make HER FEEL HAPPY. The fact that she threw her wedding ring is actually a good sign cause she is trying to overcome the grief and start over there is nothing wrong in it. just be there for her

Answer 2

There are a number of different reasons that she might be driven to take her wedding ring off so soon. People may experience a variety of emotions soon after the death of a loved one. They may feel anger, deep sorrow, depression, mixed feelings, fear, anxiety, relief (if the marriage was painful in some way) Usually, the feelings will fade away over time. Sometimes, those left behind will need professional personal counseling.

However, to your specific question: It is O.K. to have whatever opinion you like. However, it is better that you not mention your opinion to your friend. Her reason for taking off the ring so soon may not be a big deal to others but it could be conceived by her as another drastic burden to even hint that she did something unappropriate.

It is better that you neither mention it to her or to friends who may not be a sensitive and sensible as your self.

Answer 3

I admit I might be hurt if there was no real reason for it. Now some good reasons might be 1.) The ring is uncomfortable or odd feeling ( solution is to find a comfort fit band) 2.) Work conditions specifiy no jewelry allowed for safety reasons ( therefore he would wear it if going out or to special places away from work) 3.) The reason is it could be damaged or dirty like if working on a something. I think both people should discuss it ,before just doing it. Discussions go a long why to avoid hurt feeling. Now if you want to prove a point about being unhappy then boldly taking it off and flaunting it may open up a discusssion to talk about any underlaying issues that may need to be resolved.

Answer 4

I think it is important to understand, truly understand, the emotional phases of the grieving process. In the beginning, a grieving widow will experience shock, disbelief, and unspeakable sadness. There will undoubtedly be shock if the death was sudden without notice. Next, disbelief sets in as the widow may have to deal with issues she has never had to experience before, such as finances, etc... The widow may blame themselves in some way for their spouse's death, and guilt may set in. Next, sadness could be followed by anger. Many experience extreme anger in the grieving process. This anger stems from the feeling that the widow has been abandoned by their spouse. I think the most important statement you made was "but then again I am not in her shoes." We all experience grief in our own terms and in our own way. She may be feeling angry right now that she is without her true love, her darling husband, and she is now all alone for the first time. Therefore, she may have removed her ring in response to her feelings. Next week, you may notice she has put her ring back on. She needs time, healing, and a good support system of family, friends and her church family. You seem to be a great friend. Continue to be there for her.

Answer 5

Everyone grieves differently. We go through different stages of grief. Just because she has taken off the ring, doesn't mean she's over him. I lost my son 8 months ago. His nursery is still in place. Other people who lost their babies at the same time packed up their nurseries right away. They do not miss their babies any less than I miss mine, they just grieve differently. All you can do is be there for her, listen when she needs to talk. If she shows signs of harming herself, get her help. Otherwise, let her grieve in the way she deems appropriate.

Answer 6

After my second husband and I got divorced, I had to take my wedding ring off.

I loved it so much, and it broke my heart every time I looked at it. My thumb kept searching for it on my finger for months after I took it off, but that hurt less than having it mock me from my finger.

Try to understand why she might have taken her ring off. Maybe she finds it painful to wear.

And then there are the (thoughtless) questions: "Where is your ring?" OUCH.

Answer 7

1) I hope there is no suspicion in her husbands death...

2) I would not be concerned with the removal of the ring, it could be a way for her to heal. She realizes she still has life after her husband and attempting to collect what she has left and continue.

Answer 8

Indeed, you are not in her shoes. Everybody grieves in their own way. Maybe the ring was too much of a reminder of what she's lost. Maybe you should ask her instead of judging her.

Answer 9

Maybe her wedding ring reminds her too much of what she has lost. Everybody takes things differently. It could just be Your perception. Ask her if she OK. She need not be great, ok will do.

Answer 10

I understand it may appear insensitive, but we all morn differently, she should not be judged on how she handles
it. She is in my opinion trying to disconnect and move on,it could be just a reaction to grief, and in grief many have anger over the loss, and do what others considerate odd..