I was molested at the age of 5 and I have come to terms with it and I live my life. But I think that it has affected by view of sex. I dont view it as a sacred, love, emotional event. I view it as sex. If you want sex you have it and if you dont you dont have it.
I am not into foreplay or any of that romantic crap. I like to be told what to do, called dirty names, and I am basically there for my partners satisfaction.
Could this all be a direct link to me being molested?
2006-06-24 16:53:27 · 22 answers · asked by lalala 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm no expert, but I don't honestly think that encounter would throw off your sexual aptitude completely. Yes, it is a traumatic and horrible thing... my heart goes out to you and other victims like you. But there is no 'normal' standard for sex; it is a diverse and unique experience for each and every individual. Do you enjoy the harsher, less-sugary aspect of sex? If yes, -- don't worry about it! You're alright, in my book. =)
My only concern would be if you are uncomfortable or fearful of sex, and only participate to prolong or start relationships. Your body, like your heart, isn't something for others to use!
If your situation sounds more like the latter, please consider that you haven't completely 'come to terms' with your past experience. You don't have to seek professional help, but talking with someone -- a close friend, a trusted anyone -- can do wonders. I hope you're happy, no matter what you decide.
2006-06-24 17:16:26 · answer #1 · answered by Hatake Seraph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have difinately NOT come to terms with this at all. And few have that have been sexually molested at any age, without professional help.
Dirty "talk" in bed is one thing. Submissive role play and the like is for healthy sexually active partners and has no place in the life of a woman or man that has not comprehended the impact of sexual abuse.
Your sexual patterns are common in sexually abused people.
Foreplay is an important part of the partnership of love making. It's an emotional bond and or physical experience that should offer great pleasure and reward.
Non-reciprocal sex is not pleasurable.
Being told what to do or how to perform is a lack of sexual identity in the relationship.
You have a right to experience a bonding, an emotional connection, pleasure and comfort during sex.
I suggest you do seek counseling to reconcile these feelings.
sexually abused from age 5 to age 11
Anna M.
2006-06-24 17:14:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anna M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear about what happened that is a very traumatic event and can effect you your whole life, i know a girl who had the same thing happen to her at age 4 and she is now 14, but i think that it is a direct link, during the event who ever it was ddi it just to pleasure himself and this has taken a toll on how you view other sexual relationships, no matter how you deal with things everyday this is still very much apart of you and you're not over it, you need to talk to a rape/molestation counselor so that you can talk to someone who has been through the same experience and can help you to better cope and have a different outlook on sex, its not to late to view sex as something sacred or something that should be done out of love, it will take time but if you just take small steps to working on it you can have a new outlook....
2006-06-24 17:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same thing happen to me and can tell you that I felt the same way. I am 30 have been married for a while and had counseling for it, because it affected my marriage which I didnt really know it did, and was not able to feel romantic or anything like that. I know that so many girls and boys are molested and need help, you cant just put it in the back of your mind, its always there, get counseling, you will feel so much better, I know I do. It took me until now to have a loving relationship.
2006-06-24 17:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by jackie g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to regain your self respect and put the blame for what happened on the guy that abused you. It is sad that you think you are nothing more than an object because you are much more. The value of your brain and the good you have to offer is far more important than your having been abused. The treatment you need i to regain your self esteem. You need counseling very soon. Never have sex just to please another person. Just having sex is like two animals letting off steam. What is supposed to happen is two people share tenderness and arousal to reach a mutual climax. The feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction that can be had from love is much greater than just bumping bodies. Get help.
2006-06-24 16:59:34 · answer #5 · answered by old codger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that while you are having sex you revert into that 5 year old girl. Think about it. At 5 you were being told what to do and were there only for the pleasure of the person who molested you.
2006-06-24 16:57:22 · answer #6 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy answer for your question. It could have some affect but most people aren't affected for the rest of their life by something that occurred when they were five. Most people can't remember anything from when they were five. Some people just like dirty sex, some people like to satisfy others, some people don't like sex at all. And of course there is always the issue of hormones.
2006-06-24 17:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by tcb396 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think it could be, after all that was a very long time ago for you. my son was molested by someone at the age of 4 almost 5 and he doesnt even remember it happening! (i keep it that way, he dont need to remember)
some ppl just arent into romance...some just want dirty sex and domination! try playing it up! whips, chains, handcuffs...could be exciting for you.
2006-06-24 16:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that you have come to terms with it. Then why are you asking this question? This is very serious stuff that you need therapy to get through. If you think your view of sex is not normal and you aren't happy with that fact, you need to find professional help.
2006-06-24 17:00:20 · answer #9 · answered by Who, me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-15 05:32:16 · answer #10 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋