porn in marriages is it wrong it is ruining my marriage?

Question

my husband has a problem and i dont know what to do about it please help!!!

Answer 1

Just to fill in a few blanks and put my answer in perspective, I assume you perceive your husband's porn as a problem. The question is: Is your husband a true pornoholic? The criteria for this being a problem is, does it interfere with his normal daily life functioning? If he has some magazines, some photos on the computer of naked women -- with the exception of beastiality and child porn, it may be objectionable to you, but he doesn't have a major problem, except the problem you make it for him.

If he misses work or other normal daily functions to buy or engage in enjoying porn, or if his collection contains porn that depicts abnormal or illegal sex acts, he may have a major problem.

The question you have to answer is: If his porn problem is minor, Is this a deal breaker on whether you stay married to him or not? If it is, let him know his porn activities could drive you away from him. If you could tolerate a little 'men will be men' with the playboy magazine, tell him you don't like it and you'd appreciate him hiding it as best he can.

If he has a major porn problem, he may still be salvagable and your marriage still has a chance, if you intervene and require him to reform and maybe get counseling to help him. If he won't or if it fails, you need to keep to your principles and get out of the relationship.

This is the most comprehensive help I can be given the general way you stated your question. Good Luck and hopefully you can work this issue out with your husband and keep your marriage.

Answer 2

Lets see.I dont think watching porn is a problem....unless its causing a problem in your marriage or is out of control.Porn can be fun...if you watch it together, as a tool to get into the mood or just for fun.But, if he is watching uncontrollibly, or if instead of having sex with you, he is in the bed watching porn, then you have ahuge problem.Also, you shouldnt have to watch it EVERYTIME you have sex with your hubby.The best thing to do is to talk to your husband.Communication is the key to every good marriage.Also, then you can decide together if its a problem, what his veiws are, and how to fix it.Maybe you can make one nite a week, if managable, porn nite.Where you get to watch a porn together.Then, other nite, you have sex without porn and he dosent watch any.Then, other nites, no sex and just snuggle.But you need to do this decision making together, as a couple.If you can talk and get though this, your marriage will grow stronger and then you can talk about and conquer other problems that we all face daily as a married couple.If this dosent work and you both come to the conclusion, hes addicted, and he is willing and wants your marriage to work, he may need to seek counseling, were I hope that you are able to stand by him and support him.Good luck

Answer 3

This is a serous issue, not something trivial at all. I suggest you get some proffessional help. If he won't then do it just for yourself. If he will not stop a behavior which is damaging you then he is not considering you are the marriage. A marriage is a union of two. It takes both giving 100% each for it to work. It needs nurturing and care. When one has a problem it is not just that persons problem, but a problem of the marriage and there for both partners problem. However, if he absolutely refuses to get help and this is something which is harming you then you need to get assistance. You have a right to expect your husband to behave in ways which honor and respects you not puts you down by ejaculatin to photo's or videos on the net, or comparing his real wife to touched up photos in a book or to the 5% of the population which are model and movie material. The far majority of women do not look like models or movie stars, plus they usually have on so much makeup and have makeup artists who know just how to apply it. I say Operah without makeup and she just looked like a normal every day fifty something woman, not like the beautiful telivision persona we see on t.v each week. Guys who are hung up on photos and videos have a real and serious problem. They bought into the commercials, magizine ads, models, and movie women who look like they are not even real people, and they think this is how women are suppose to look and they lost out somehow by not being able to get a woman who looks like that. This is a distorted vision of women and it is a real problem which makes it difficult for men to appreciate real women and how we look in reality. He is stuck on the wrapping and not what is on the inside.

If he can not stop this behavior I think you need to consider getting some proffessional help who can help you sort out what you can live with and what you can not. We all have to have bounderies in life, and if we just let people walk all over us we will be miserable. Life is too short for that. I am sorry your husband is behaving like an immature ****** who is not considering your feelings. This is wrong. Blessed Be.

Answer 4

If you're speaking about the porn, it happens to be a problem for more than just your marriage unfortunately. A lot of guys need them to really get off in their s_____ drive to try and fulfill their other half's needs. They also expect their other half to participate in their pleasure from watching the porns. So, you can try turning it off when it's that time, but this will only let you see for yourself how much he depends on it. This may even cause his drive taking a dive. Check it out before making a decision on what you need to do to take care of your needs.

Answer 5

It depends on how and why it is I feel it can be rewarding when taken the right way but if hes neglecting you and continuing to watch porn on his own and alot its a problem. Its like a addiction like anything else but nothing wrong with some porno in any marriage to spice things up.

Answer 6

Your husband has a problem as in he's looking at too much porn? Or he has a problem because you're looking at too much porn?

Answer 7

Sorry to hear.. I have a similar problem only my i'm engaged not married. I think you should just talk to your husband about it. If knowing why makes you feel better.. make him give answers. Thats what I did. I believe that after my fiancee knew how much it bothered me, the guilt killed him and he stopped. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Have you ever heard of married people divorcing because of porn? hell not. It's morally wrong and hurts maybe your self-confidence etc, but as long as he keeps it to porn (which I mean pornography-> strictly viewing medias and no real meeting or communication) and it does not interfere with his life, the hell with it. It does show that he does not get it enough from you tho.

Answer 9

it's OK, it's nature for a man to be visual, just be cool with it , that doesn't mean he don't love you, be happy that he is not having sex with other people, he just watching it on TV.as long as he doesn't do it all the time then there is no problem.but if he does it 24/7 then there really is a problem and if you really do love him help him through it.be there for him no matter what.good luck, take care

Answer 10

if it's ruining your marriage it's wrong ! get counseling together or get help for yourself..it's an addiction for many men..i'm not married but i have friends couples who have this problem...it's one of the reasons i stay single..good luck