do you have anu jokes...good jokes and funny ones if you do type some in here :D can't wait to hear your jokes:D
2006-06-24 16:24:38 · 11 answers · asked by askanswerdiscover 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all! day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door,and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."
The minister fainted...
2006-06-25 08:07:34 · answer #1 · answered by vlaundon2002 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Subject: summer of '57
It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in.
"Peggy Sue’s not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" she says. That's cool. Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do.
Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.
Peggy Sue’s mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."
Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says "Wha...aaat?"
"Yeah," says Peggy Sue's mother, "We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; Why, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go.
Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good evening kids," with a small wink for Harold.
About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother: "Darn it, Mom! The Twist! The Twist! It's called The Twist!"
2006-06-24 23:30:58 · answer #2 · answered by ilse72 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What Did The Cow Say To The Frog?
Wuts Up Man
2006-06-24 23:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by bonez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One afternoon, a little girl returned home from school and announced that a friend had told her where babies come from.
Amused, her mother replied, "Why don't you tell me all about it?" The little girl explained, "Well, mommy and daddy take off all of their clothes, and the daddy's thing stands up, and then the mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes, and that's how you get babies."
Her mother shook her head, leaned over to meet her eye-to-eye and said, "Oh, honey, that's sweet, but that's not how you get babies...
"That's how you get jewelry."
LOL
2006-06-24 23:27:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you get when you cross 50 pigs with 50 deer?
A hundred sows and bucks. (if you don't get it, say the answer real fast. If you still don't get it, give up)
2006-06-24 23:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by Tammy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're walking along, and you see a lawyer and an irs agent drowning. but you can only save one. do you go to lunch or read the paper?
2006-06-24 23:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A drunk in a bar got sick and threw up all over his brand new shirt. He told the bartender "My wife's gonna kill me..hic...I just got drunk and threw up all over my brand new shirt!"
The bartender said "Here's what you do, pal. Just take $20 from your wallet and stick it in your shirt pocket. If she says anything to you, just tell her the guy sitting NEXT to you got sick and threw up and gave you $20 to get your shirt cleaned. It works every time!"
The guy took money from his wallet, put it into his shirt pocket and staggered home. As soon as he walked in the door, his wife yelled "Look at you, you drunk slob! You got sick and threw up all over your brand new shirt!"
The drunk said "No I didn't...the guy sitting next to me did and gave me $20 to get my shirt cleaned."
His wife reached in his shirt pocket and pulled out the money and said "But there's $40 here."
He said "I know...he sh**ed in my pant, too!"
2006-06-24 23:32:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question: If women with big boobs work at Hooters, where do one legged women work?
Answer: I HOP
2006-06-24 23:31:37 · answer #8 · answered by Ace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
brad and angelina's baby is callled "Shiloh Pitt"
2006-06-24 23:42:10 · answer #9 · answered by michael m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha.
2006-06-24 23:29:28 · answer #10 · answered by oranjeesoccer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋