Why Am I Submissive?

Question

I like to be very submissive in the bedroom told when, what, and how to do things. I like to be called names and a little of everything else. My counselor thinks it's a form of low self esteem, but I disagree I just like it.

In my personal day to day life I am very independent and self aware and I like to think that I have great self esteem.

So do I have low self esteem and I am just unaware or do I need to seek a new counselor?

Answer 1

As long as it is what you want and it is not being forced on you or causing you to have self esteem issues, go for it. Maybe because you are so independent in your life you like to be able to take a break and let someone else take control in the bedroom. Some people have a hard time handing over the control.

Answer 2

you need to seek a new counselor that understands the dynamics of people in BDSM lifestyles many of whom are highly intelligent and very in charge out of the bedroom and to relax and enjoy there sexual life they relinquish control COMPLETELY to another be it a Dom/ or Domme. I have been in the life over 30 years and have yet to have a submissive who actually had low self-esteem, I have met many "professional" "experts" who didn't know what they were talking about since they don't realize that sex is more than just in and out and up and down.

Answer 3

I don't think that it is low self esteem. I think that it is a way to escape the everyday pressures of life. We have to be so in control of our lives and sometimes it's nice to have someone else be in control. I'm very submissive also, I just think it's fun.

Answer 4

I think it can be that you still want to be initiated or that you want to please your partner!
Anyway, it doesn't mean that you have low self-esteem! I guess you chose another type of sexuality!
You know I'm against the submission of women, but I guess you can't apply the same scheme to sexual intercourses.

Answer 5

if you look deeper you may find that being a submissive allows you an option not to be in the drivers seat, but rather a passenger with a view...sexually it can allow you be in control and not all at the same time.

now tell me More about your other fantasies

Answer 6

I'm willing to bet money that whether you want to admit it or not, somewhere in your past is at least one abusive relationship, either with a parent or sibling, or other family member or even an ex-boyfriend. Maybe physical abuse, maybe emotional, but in your mind you equate submissiveness with intimacy ....

Answer 7

do what you like sexually - it is not for someone else to tell you what to do

if you enjoy it there is nothing worng with it

if you didnt enjoy it that different - seek a new counseller you do not have self esteem issues

Answer 8

first let me start by saying i like you.. i would love to have a women in the bedroom like that .. but any way .. maybe you have enough control in your life maybe a little to much so you let all that go in the bedroom theres nothing rong with that.. email me [e-mail]

Answer 9

well i belive that somtimes we as people like diffrences, ever hear of the librarian that is sex freak? its out of nature, as a independant person, your other side wants to be taken down, to obey, and on the flip side, you want indepance, its hard to explain why, i think its natural. like ever seen a big football guy that is a real hard ***, but his girlfriend and him are like so diffrent, as in like gentler, ect etc, i just think it as that, you know opposites attract, well we all have each side, good bad, yin yang,

all in all, no, your fine by me

Answer 10

maybe u shouldnt let people tell u what to do, i meen, an coucelor practically tells u how to run your life