Parenting questions?

Question

Fellow Parents/none parents - based on having a female child, what in you opinion are the right ages for the following;

Dating a boy? - Mine personally would be 13/14 years old. As long as it was not too serious and didnt affect schoolwork etc.

Bringing a boyfriend home? - I would personally want to "vet" anyone my daughter was seeing and I would prefer her seeing him in my home than outside!

Smoking? - In my opinion NEVER! My grandfather died 4 days ago from lung cancer.

Drinking in the house? - My opinion 1 glass of wine with a meal when she is 16. Maximum.

Drinking with friends elsewhere? - This would have to be 17/18 I dont think young people are responsible enough before that - I know I wasnt!!!!

Any opinions from young people too would be helpfull. Its solving a discussion with my partner u see!

Oh by the way Im from the UK so the legal age here is 18......

So thats why i said 17/18!

Answer 1

Well, let me begin my stating that I am a 50 year old grandmother of three, mother of two - we raised a son and a daughter - both turned out well - with a few traits I'd change if I could - my husband and I are both avid non-smokers and drink occassionally on a social level - we are Christians, raised in the Church of Christ and attend regularly as did our children - we were the "kool aid" house on the block and all the kid's friends were over at our house all the time - we loved it and always knew where our kids were - unfortunately as your children grow they also start making their own decisions and all you can do is pray they make wise ones based on their raisings - but even with hard and fast rules people make mistakes - our daughter, the mother of our 3 grandchildren, was a high school pregnancy and has been married and divorced twice - our son is still single and has been accussed of "commitment" issues by women he dates - both kids ended up as smokers and they both drink more than I feel they should - they are good people, our daughter has at last gotten her life together and is working and on her own and our son has always been on his own since graduation from high school and leaving for college - basically I am answering your question in this manner to say that you can set rules, teach, do your best - life is going to take over, mistakes are going to be made and all you can do is love them anyway and take things one day at a time as life goes on - iron clad plans - well, doesn't work too well - and I'd say don't hold those reins too tightly cuz if you do once they are out the door - they are gone! Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 2

dating a boy- I have 2 daughters so I'd say 20
Bringing a boy home-25
smoking-never
drinking in the house-16...I would feel much safer with my kids doing it under my own room where they can be chaperoned
drinking with friends elsewhere- I hope they never do. If they're doing it elsewhere, there's a chance they will drive afterwords and seeing as how a friend of mine just died a year ago from a drinking and driving accident. I'd rather they stayed IN their own homes and drank.

The boyfriend questions- Their father and I had them way too young. I was 18 with my first child and 19 with my second. He was 21 with our first and 22 with our second. I would much rather see they they have their whole lives ahead of them. I want them to experience life before they have to deal with a boyfriend.

Answer 3

i personally think each person is different. for one teenagers these days tend to do as they please,parents dont have the authority to discipline children nor do teachers so if they say to the teachers f.off for instance they are likely to be rewarded with a 3 day exclusion.i am 35 years old and have 3 children 2 of which teenage boys the oldest one is hard work and if i told him not to do something he would blatently go ahead and do,only problem was he got himself into trouble with the police and has ended him having a 6 month referral to youth offending team. i had to do something which some parents may think im totally wrong for but if he wants to experiment with alcohol and other substances(within reason) he does it in his bedroom so he cant get into trouble and i can supervise at all times in case of emergencies. each child is different so you have to cater for each needs differently. i didnt realise just how hard it is bringing up children in this day and age. my theory works with him it may not be the right solution for every child tho and im also hoping he would get bored in a few months time and not be interested in smoking or drinking because a lot of it is because all there friends do it

Answer 4

Sounds good to me, as far as drinking elsewhere it will be her choice anyway by 17/18 and is a pretty normal thing for that age group. 15 would be a better age for dating to me but it depends on the individual young woman actually.

Answer 5

I agree with everything you said except the drinking with friends part. The legal age is 21. You're asking for trouble to let a 17-year old girl drink with friends....

Answer 6

ok dating a boy ? finish school 1st < a level ,,then is ok dating ,i think 17/18 not 13/14 ,,, omg nooo ,bringing boyfriend home about 20 ,,,smoking no good at all,,,drinking glas wine with meal from 16 is ok ...drinking with friends glas of wine at least 20
well if u wanna u can contact me ,,,and just make ur doughter bit more harder life ,,,, i think no good ur opinion

Answer 7

I'm a parent of 2.
Dating a boy - 16 years old at least.
Smoking - Never
Drinking - Never, no amount. When she's an adult, she can decide.

Answer 8

I think all that is great, except for the "drinking with friends" part. I think they should be at least 21, just like the law says, they might get drunk. Other than that, I think what you said just about covers it! You are a great parent!

Answer 9

i agree with everything you said, the only thing i didnt agree with was the drinking age but since you are in the UK and its legal then thats okay too.

Answer 10

i dont really agree with the drinking thing...im young myself and i have tried it and didnt like it at all and havent done it since...my mother doesnt mind if i taste her wine but no more then that