how can you convents you b/f to actually clean up after himself?

Question

my b/f means every thing to me he is a good cook and helps me on my homework and dose every thing for me but clean up after himself, his saying is cleaning is a woman's job.... but i just can't take his piggyness. what can i say to him without sounding harsh?

Answer 1

Honey, if he says cleaning is a WOMAN'S job, then he needs nothing less than a kick in the a*s. Kick his a*s into cleaning up after himself!

Answer 2

Here is how I solved this problem with my husband. I was getting really tired of the dirty laundry all over the floor, dirty dishes in the living room and all over the kitchen and food crumbs on his end of the couch. We both have full time jobs and I figured with the extra time spent cleaning up after him, I had a job and a half. When he came home from work, I asked him how would he like to get laid more often. I immediately had his attention. I told him if he would at least get the dirty clothes to the hamper, carry the dirty dishes to the sink and rinse them and be a little neater in the bathroom, I would have less work to do which would result in more time and energy for sex. He kept his end of the deal and I kept my end of the deal. Mind you he still isn't the best at housework but once he realized the extra burden on me to keep the hooch clean, he formed better habits and doesn't leave messes all over the house anymore. Men are motivated by two things, food and sex and you have to figure out which one motivates your man the most and use that to get what you want. If he doesn't work with you on this subject, it might be time to find another man. A mature respectful person of either gender does not expect someone else to clean up after them.

Answer 3

Your boyfriend is in the wrong decade/century. Let me get this straight, it's ok for him to say that cleaning up is "women's work" and leave everything a mess, but you don't want to sound too harsh when you take this busted wannabe 1950's jerk to task for not picking up his own crap. If this badger doesn't move into the 21st century and fast, you might just as well plan on being his maid for the rest of your relationship. We may see a woman president in the near future. I'd like to see Mr. Smooth tell her it's a woman's job to clean up. It's time he either cleaned up his mess or lived in it. It is not your problem, it's his problem.

Answer 4

O.K. Here it is......If he is acting like this now, how in the hell do you think he will treat you if you marry him????Oh dear, Oh dear!

DON'T with hold sex or bargain with sex. That is an unfair way to fight. Sit him down for a meeting. Have whatever it is you drink, wine, beer, whatever. Explain how you feel. Tell him you want his help and cooperation in preparing a "chore list". Then divide up the work that needs to be done daily, weekly and monthly.

If he doesn't want to do the chore list or discuss the problem, let it go. THEN I would not do one more thing in the house until he
agreed to help out more. Let everything pile up and then he can see what you do.

WHY do I have this feeling that you are not going to take anyone's advice? You will let the relationship run the course it is on now?

Answer 5

If you want a relationship to be 50/50, then you need to tell him that, if he doesn't agree then maybe its time to move on or deal with it. If you choose to deal with it, remember you made that choice and it will always be like that. And to comment on this.. Why are you worried about saying something to harsh to him if he said ... cleaning is a woman's job...don't you think that is harsh.. it IS and very pigheaded ....pigheaded = piggyness Good luck

Answer 6

If you plan to marry the guy, you've got to decide if that's something you can live with. If it's eventually going to turn you off from him, then you should say something now, and not wait until you really get disgusted.
Cleaning may be a woman's job, but a man must be able (and willing) to clean up after himself. What's he gonna do, when you're not there to pick up after him?

Answer 7

Just tell him your concerns about cleanliness and ask him to do better. Let him know that you appreciate him cooking and helping you with your homework but that is not enough, he needs to just pick up after himself. He doesn't really believe that cleaning is for women because if he did he would feel the same way about cooking. Train him while he is your boyfriend and when he becomes your husband you will not have anything to worry about. Just my opinion!!!!

Answer 8

No real offense meant but we all have spell check. It may be that a CONVENT would be preferable to where you are???

OK, now for the serious, compassionate advice,,, STOP!!!!

I have to assume you clean up after him? Hopefully not after he uses the bathroom to evacuate himself.

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOUNDING HARSH,,,GEEZ, it is a harsh situation, obviously born of his disrespect...BIG SIGH.

I'll get suspended here if I offer much more but I'll suggest,,if you can make contact with this alien, that you ask, what he defines as WOMENS WORK,,, and perhaps MANS WORK, and explore his feelings about SHARING tasks etc, in a REALTIONSHIP.

HE may mean everything to you, but I suggest YOU mean very little to him.

Rev. Steven

Answer 9

Being a man even I can say that may be the mother of all oxymorons, man-cleanup. Some guys actually think that's part of a woman's duties, cleaning up after them. It may be hard, but let things go and see if and what he might do about it. If he says anything just tell him "It ain't my mess, you clean it up". Hopefully he'll get the hint before things get too deep.

Answer 10

The problem these days is people think a relationship or commitment is 50/50 when in fact it is 100/100. You should voice your concerns to your man and tell him you are thankful for the support he gives you in other areas of your life but you need him to put forth effort to clean up his mess. Then buy a plaque that says..................Help keep the kitchen clean.........eat out!