I love my husband to death, but after 10 yrs of marriage, I think more about putting him to death, than loving him to death. aaaww, just joking. I do love him, but he is so on my nerves. And seems to be there more than any place else. The things I used to love about him..strong willed, opinionated, are the very things driving me to want to tie him to an ant hill. Any advice?
2006-06-24 13:21:24 · 9 answers · asked by spidermonkeyfingers 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel ya...That itch is real...I can't believe how hard marriage is. No one ever told me or I would've stayed single. All I can say is you dont want to go to prison so don't kill him, and remember you are completely normal for feeling that way.
I just play passive aggressive games and grit my teeth...I probably should get counseling, but screw it.
2006-06-24 13:36:04 · answer #1 · answered by justbecause0040 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋
What's happened to these two attributes? What's changed in your marriage/relationship? There is a point when dominant men, such as your husband, can - and do - take being strong-willed and opinionated to a very fine line of ANNOYANCE! And, all kidding aside, it sounds as if he has reached, and far exceeded, that point.
It's time - if you haven't already - to TELL HIM to knock it off! Not everyone is going to, and shouldn't be expected to, cow-tow to HIS opinion just because it may be the only one that's offered... or because others don't want to risk hurting his feelings or upsetting him. Is he aware of this semi-drastic turn of events? Have you told him you'd like to "tie him to an ant hill"?
What do you do for yourself to get OUT of the house? Do you go out to lunch with other lady-friends? Do you have some hobby that can get you away for a while?
Sounds as if Elizabeth Barrett Browning's words are fast becoming his 'swann song' now! (Just teasing back... really.)
Try telling him what you're feeling. Make him sit down and really listen. Turn off all distractions - tv, stereo, whatever you have to. It's either that - or suggest counseling of some sort - for HIM!
Keep me posted - and Good luck!
*S*
2006-06-24 20:35:19 · answer #2 · answered by vpenndragon_2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the whole problem sounds like after 10 years nothing has changed...In order to truly be happy both parties has to make changes to keep lust in the relationship...You need new things to see and talk about take a little time alone...Have a date night go out have a blast act young again like when you were dating add just a little spice to life...You need some changes and quick changes so tell him all about how you feel...Everyone must have good communication if he is not willing nothing you can do tell him you need time alone...
Good luck to you hope it all works out for the better be happy and smile!!!
2006-06-24 21:18:18 · answer #3 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are things in the bedroom? Is that suffering too? I find that's the spot things go 'downhill' fast. He seems controlling now? (You said strong willed, opinionated.. you've got opinions too and hell yeah yours count!..) Yours ought to count at least as much (if not more) than his.. I mean whose count more?! I think tho you are making it lighthearted (I do that trick too.. seems more bearable) you're pretty pissed off about all this. It's nice (you are a nice woman to do so) you say you love him, and are kind of 'giving him a break/the benefit of the doubt.) Very nice. You sound like you liked the 'macho man' right off the bat.. but later you're establishing yourself and he somehow perceives this as a bit threatening (any of this ring true or am l00% off?) and wants to put you in your place a bit. Hell, I think I'm going a bit overboard here.. I mean you didn't say you hated the guy (exact opposite.) I am a college grad but for some reason married to dumbassed dudes that thought it made 'em 'extra smart' to be telling me what to do every step of the way. I'm a hell of a lot worse off (still married to one of these assholes, tho I did divorce him once, remarry him out of pity because he got colon cancer) than you sound tho, dear.. (sigh) Is he getting worse (more strong willed) with time or do you think you are changing? You need to figure out which of you is different. It might not necessarily be a bad thing. One of you needs to adjust.. (and guess what? from my experience it's usually you.) Can you kind of tune it out a bit ("yeah.. yeah.. you've got a valid point".. sing that song a lot?) You needn't argue with him, you know.. (it makes 'em worse.. more 'logical' & all that bullshit.) I don't think you are going to change this guy (no one can change men.. hell, I sound bitter, huh?) lol.. well, g'luck m'dear.. I liked the last answer perhaps better than mine!... ha.. later melancholia
2006-06-24 20:44:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try recreating the things that made you two work so well together when you were first together. It sounds like maybe you both got so busy with life that you forgot to take time for one another like you used to.
2006-06-24 20:35:13 · answer #5 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, tie him to an ant hill
2006-06-24 20:25:16 · answer #6 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
could be that you re-inforced those attributes you loved so much about him that he put most of his effort in them to please you, to get the attention you used to give when he excels in those attributes.well i would suggest you try encouraging him in something else that he likes or you like in him!a man is at his best when he gets praise from his wife!!!good luck!
2006-06-24 20:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by bravo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let it work itself out of the nerves!Tell him!
2006-06-24 20:24:41 · answer #8 · answered by Booboo B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a deep breath, hold it, let it out.........sigh.....!
Now look at him and remember back when.......... Smile.
2006-06-24 21:19:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋