Why is it that you deny your ex to see their children even though they pay child support and call frequently? When you get mad at the ex, you take it out on the child. Do you not realize that you are making that child dislike you?
2006-06-24 12:02:50 · 9 answers · asked by tean 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with you. If a parent (mother or father) uses the child to get to the other parent the child will only end up resenting that parent. I am a single parent and I do not do this. I will admit that it is difficult not to talk bad about the other parent at time. I do my best to let my children make their own opinions of their father. If I need to say something against him I make sure they are not in the room. My ex husband badmouthed his ex wife in front of his kids daily. They did not turn against her but against him. We all need to be careful and thoughtful of our children. They need to come first - not ourselves or our revenge.
Good point to make with this question.
2006-06-24 12:09:53 · answer #1 · answered by Toni 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents that behave that way not only do not care about their X, they also do not care about their children.
When my husband and I were apart, we kept our personal issues to ourselves...our children were BOTH of our responsibility and we NEVER put them in the middle of the problems we had nor made them pawns in our disagreements.
I'm sorry if you are going thru this. You should do what you can to take your child(ren) from this person. They do not deserve children.
Not only will the child dislike the parent(s), but they will likely grow into a bad parent themselves.
A break up where kids are involved is bad enough. Being mean to the kids is immature and not right in any way shape or form.
It's abuse.
2006-06-24 19:12:58 · answer #2 · answered by 0000000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this would seem to be a question from a daughter to her mom, That being said, of course your right , my dear, the fact is mom is in the wrong and no doubt WAS in the wrong, during the marriage and whats happening is is that each time dad calls, etc, she feels guilty all over again, The resolution for this is for her to OWN UP [ ' fess up " ] however this is a delicate matter!, a game of " truth OR dair " might be a good way to get to the issue, done in a happy and friendly manner, with NO ACCUSATIONS or JUDGMENTS ! !, we ALL have the right to mess up, sometimes, and youth is that time, it's how we arrive @ maturate, so do it in a light hart ed manner and with compassion for mom, she will return the favor and WILL feel OH so much better after owning it, be well. David xoxox ;-]]
2006-06-24 19:20:07 · answer #3 · answered by david s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all divorces are like that. When I divorced, he got the kids and I lived on the next block and picked them up all the time. It depends on how much emotional content goes into the marriage and the divorce. If you can keep you problems with your ex between the 2 of you, the kids will turn out ok.
2006-06-24 19:08:14 · answer #4 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't say that it's them. It's like you're blaming all women in that situation. My mom is like that, but my dad doesn't call. I haven't seen him since l was in elementary school. It's not a their fault thing. It's certain people. Maybe these moms have a reason to be mad. You might not know the whole story. You don't know all their stories, so dont blame thme for what they didn't do. If the dads don't take the time to be with teir kids, that THEIR FAULT. Not the moms. My dad didn't. I'm just sayin y blame others for what they didn't do?
2006-06-24 19:22:57 · answer #5 · answered by Lola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking things oout on the child is wrong, Just because the person is unhappy with the ex, if the ex has done something wrong let him/her know. And go from there.
2006-06-24 19:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I've never had children (or been divorced), I must say it would be nice to see more men behave as you described.
My mom pleaded with my dad to visit my sister and me, but he couldn't have cared less to.
2006-06-24 19:08:36 · answer #7 · answered by Erato 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any ex stupid enough to keep the kids is that stupid I believe If I had ever had kids by any of my ex husbands he would have gotten them with my blessings :-) and farther more what she is doing is NOT RIGHT. SEEK LEGAL ADVICE! N SOME SHRINK HELP FOR HER. ..
2006-06-24 19:07:01 · answer #8 · answered by rideglidengo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'Cos he beat the crap outta me AND my kids and he doesn't pay child support.
2006-06-24 20:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by BellaDonna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋