my boyfriend is leaving his porn all over the place and my 6 yr old daughter (not his) found it today....I don

Question

ok let me clarify....we just had a baby together (5 weeks old) and I am trying to find a job in my field which takes a while for me b/c of my field (I am an international business consultant). He is also a professional chef. The porn is locked up in the bedroom. however, he comes home between lunch and dinner, gets his groove and goes back to work. He left the porn on the counter in the bathroom- I picked it up before my daughter could get a good look at it- it was face up so all she saw was girls in bikinis THANK GOD! I have no problem with him looking at porn- he isnt gettnig any from me and I am very secure- so why not. Its the kids. What the hell is he thinking leaving PORN carelessly about the house? I cant really afford for him to leave- I wont be able to pay rent or bills, but mydaugher is most important...maybe this is going to become a legal matter? I dont know what to do- but he isnt staying here.

We have been together for over 5 years and have known each other for 10.

Answer 1

I have read so many great answers to your question. I get the feeling you already know the answer, you just need confirmation. Well, consider your "gut feeling" validated.
Either the porn goes, or HE goes. No exceptions. He is disrespecting and putting in harms way an innocent child, and disrespecting you. Porn is a very destructive and consuming addiction and easily accessible 24/7. YOU and your CHILD deserve better.

And remember, this addiction may be abandoned for a while, but is often re-visited by the addicted after emotions have calmed and energy is focused elsewhere.

You would not want your child permanently changed by these issues! Put your foot down now, not later.

Good luck!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

The question is why does he need to leave work to come home to masturbate? Does he have a sex addiction? Most normal people can get through the work day without doing that, why can't he? Does he not get his own space and time to do it? He needs to have some privacy let him know that this behavior isn't acceptable. I would also agree that you need to keep a close eye on things, lots of single mothers are targeted by sexual predators.

Answer 4

ok, first of all ... you need to be firm with him and explain that you dont want your daughter to see this kind of stuff. secondly I wouldnt ask him to throw it out or something like that because that will just cause conflict between the two of you and chances are he'll start keeping the pornography behind your back and thats when trust is broken. Basically just make sure the material is in a place that is safely inaccessible to your daughter and that he only takes it out when appropriate.

Answer 5

Sounds like he may have an addiction if he is being that careless about it. Maybe you did to talk to him about getting some help. Whatever you do always put your child first. If you feel she may be in any danger (just seeing certain images can have a profound effect on a child), don't hesitate to take her out of harms way. I will pray for you

Answer 6

that isn't right, I wouldn't have as big a problem with porn as I would about him violating her rights as a child, her young mind is not mature enuf for that, I guess you already know all this though. what motivates a guy to do this to a child? maybe he is trying to get her interested in sex. I know it sounds sick but leaving it around is sick also. be careful who you let in your life and house, some pervs look for situations such as yours and prey on people like you.

Answer 7

You don't need a boyfriend who needs porn, especially with children around. You should be enough for him. Try dating a man of higher class and be a good example for your children.

Answer 8

Establish rules: Porn belongs in the closet (or trash). No exceptions. Make sure he follows and respects these things. Or else he may not be worth it.

Answer 9

Throw all the porn out, along with your boyfriend.

Answer 10

This potentially could be considered a form of 'priming' a child for sexual explaitation. You could be subject to losing custody of your daughter if she tells someone. Get rid of him.