i have been with my hus for 10 years, he makes me feel worthless sometimes, nothing i do is right....Help????

Question

He is on meds for his anger issues, but when he dont take them , i can tell....he makes me cry, he can be so mean. he picks at everything i do, nothing is right. we have a child together. when i confront him about it , he says "oh i forgot, you dont do nothing wrong"...but when i ask what did i do wrong, he can never answer. he blames me for his blow ups, he says his medicines dont help him, he says i am the one who needs help. I cant even talk to him calmly about this situation because he will just say I am nagging or being a ***** to him. i know i have my faults, but i do not blow up at him for no reason . He complains at me and nothing i do is right....something is always wrong. what should i do???

Answer 1

okay first i think you need to take you and your child out of that enviroment...you nor your child deserves to be in that situation...soo really just get out...get a divorce and a lawyer and get out of it...it will become painful for you and one day your child...i know because my dad is and use to be worst and i go through really tough and srtuggling times...i am only 15...but still get out before it is too late...if he is that bad...good luck!

Answer 2

Here are some options for you:

1. Try couples counseling or even better have him go to counseling seperatly. you yourself may gain alot from going to counseling as well. Or family counseling, depending on how old your child is. See if counseling is covered by your medical insurance. If not, then do some research into local support groups.. for marrital problems or perhaps just a women's group.

2. Re-asses your relationship, is there anything that he does that is good. When does he make you happy?

3. Is he a good father? if so what makes him a good father.

4. Don't let him assign your self worth.

5. When he picks at you let him know that he is making you feel like ****.

6. Tell him that in order for you relatioship/marriage to last he has to hear you out and both of you have to be able and willing to make changes.

7. Since he is tellng you that you are the one that needs help, why dont you use this as a way to better your own self-esteem. do some research into counseling and books that may better your outlook on life.

By doing this you can show him that you are willing to work on your issues, and that he could be doing the same.

8. If he is verbally abusing you, or physically abusing you... think about leaving. think of if it is an option. If all attempts to reconcile fail, keep this as an option for yourself.

9. If you do think that you should leave him, start to make a plan, get all of your papers in order, make copies of important documents. Start saving money. Research into where you would be able to move if you needed to leave your home.

10. Talk to his doctor about his medications and his behavior.

11. Do not fear your husband.

Answer 3

Number one, go to a counsellor or theraphy for yourself. You need to see that you are in a awful situation and staying in it for the child is not doing anyone any good. The child will learn the behaviour of the parents and in many cases, end up being just like him or her.
He needs theraphy and so do you. You also need self worth classes. I am sure there is some kind of womens abuse help where you are. He is abusing you, verbally, mentally, emotionally if not physically.

Answer 4

If it is a huge problem, then you guys should try to get counseling and if that doesn't work, get the hell away from each other. You don't need your child seeing that stuff happen. What I do when my hubby gets pissy is ignore him. He realizes afterwards how much of a dick he's been being and apologizes. He can't blame it on me because I don't say anything lol. Good luck.

Answer 5

I'm no marriage counselor, but maybe you can sneak an apointment to a shrink. There is obviously something wrong with him and maybe the way he sees you. Are you worthless? If you answered 'no' then you don't need to be around anyone that says you are or makes you feel that way. Get some help for him if not for yourself.

Answer 6

Maybe you should take some time a part from each other.Not only for you but your child, he/she might see his behavior and pick up his habits.Also no one has the right to tell u that you are worthless if you dont take control of your life how you going to raise a child

Answer 7

It's not easy putting up with someone who has anger issues. The best thing you can do is try to get him to see a psyhiatrist (which will probably only get him madder). But....if you threaten to leave him if he doesn't....and he truly loves you....he'll go. A psychiatrist can help him. If he refuses, LEAVE. Get away from him. You don't need it, and most importantly, neither does your child.

Answer 8

thats not right at all and you shouldn't think that this behavior is acceptable. no one can blame their problems on someone else. you should stand up for yourself and tell him he needs more than pills maybe some one on one counseling. plus think about it this probably isn't good for your child to see him treat you like that. Good luck and maybe you both should go to couseling together. If not for you for your child.

Answer 9

i think the best possible thing for you to do would be to go to some sort of counseling. depending upon how severe the situation is, and if you have friends or family willing, you could do an intervention with him that could possible help you alot

Answer 10

If you feel you are in danger you should leave. Sounds like your husbands needs some professional help. Maybe you should seek professional help for your co-dependency. You are enabling your husband to treat you that way.

Good Luck!