We want to breastfeed our son until he's 2 years old. How do we prevent him from weaning before then?

Question

He needs his mother's milk for heath reasons, and him self-weaning is not an option. What can we do to increase the chances of making it to 2 years of breastfeeding?

Answer 1

I breastfed my oldest until he was 21 months old. During the later months it was only at nap and bed times, or if he didn't feel well. It can work though. Until I had my daughter, I would never have thought about a baby self-weaning, but she is sure trying to. However, there were little problems and she had to be supplemented from the very beginning :O(
If you pump and bottle fed at times then you won't have to worry about self weaning. If you plan to exclusively breastfed with no artificial nipples (bottles) then you still PROBABLY won't have a problem, but don't absolutely refuse to give breast milk from a bottle or cup. The older they get the more mobile they get and the more mobile they get the less they want to be still and nurse. If you find that he is busy looking around and doing everything but nursing, take him to a dark "boring" room so he will have less stimuli.
I really doubt that you will have a problem. Most babies love the closeness and bonding with mom. My son had no problem coming up to me in public and putting his head up my shirt. If you can get nursing well established, I think you can do it as long as you like. A friend of mine nursed her son until he was almost three.

Answer 2

You've gotten a couple great answers. Babies rarely self-wean before 18 months without at least some encouragement from the mother.

The best thing you can do is to let him nurse often for nutrition and comfort, offer as few bottles/pacifiers as possible, and introduce solids very slowly.

The baby is also more likely to wean if mom gets pregnant again. Some babies will continue to nurse during a pregnancy, but others won't. I did partially wean my older daughter at a year, but she weaned completely at 14.5 months, and I think that was due to the decreased milk b/c of my pregnancy.

My younger daughter is 19 months old and still nursing 5-8 times a day with no signs of stopping anytime soon. She refused all bottles and pacifiers, and she wasn't very interested in solids until 9-12 months. My goal is to nurse her until she's 2, and then play it by ear after that.

If your son goes on a nursing strike, he can almost always be brought back to the breast with some patience, and if all else fails, pumping milk for him could be helpful, too.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Many children never self wean. It's usually up to the mother on when to stop the child from nursing. But...it's hard to wean a child who is 2 versus a child who is 1. If you wait until 2, then he might not be willing to wean until he is like 5! Just a word of advice, there is a lot that a mother has to do while being a nursing mother for that long. She might change her mind at a year old. What health reasons would there be that he needs to nurse until 2?

Answer 4

He will self wean. He's a boy and typically boys naturally wean more slowly. My son wasn't ready to aggressively wean until about 18 months. He completely left the breast at 2 yrs 3 months. But I only nursed full time for about 4 months, after that he was eating food and nursing. In the latter stages, he nursed for "comfort" (usually when he was scared or hurt). If he is determined to wean sooner, then the pump is useful.

Answer 5

Make sure he does not get the bottle. Some babies, once they suckle on a bottle, love the ease of acquisition, versus the extra work it takes to pull down the hind milk in Mommy. These babies are lazy and would rather starve to death than work for the milk. That is why La Leche, while being well meaning, sometimes is wrong when they advocate that you absolutely have to breast feed your baby. Some babies get spoiled by the bottle and refuse to breast feed. What are you going to do? Well, the practical thing, of course. Sure breast feeding is best, but if there is no other alternative, then bottle feeding is next best. Then there will be times when you will pump your own milk into a bottle for the baby. So it is all down to how your baby reacts. Maybe the bottle isn't altogether avoidable, but I would limit it as much as possible and hope the limited exposure to it won't ruin your breast feeding plans. Good luck.

Answer 6

There's a great book called Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. You can probably get it at the library, it's really good. The natural age for weaning isn't until 3 or 4 years. I nursed my son until he was 2 1/2. I weaned him at that point. Chances are very very good that he will want to nurse. Just keep encouraging it and offering it to him.

Answer 7

Babies do *not* self-wean before age 2 except in *extremely* rare cases, and *never* before 18 months. As long as you aren't encouraging him to stop nursing (and he doesn't have a nursing strike), there is very little for you to worry about. (And, by the way, if he *does* really wean before 2 years old, this is probably a sign that he has outgrown whatever it is that is prompting you to ask this question.)

So...never offer a bottle or pacifier. Many babies will refuse to nurse after even *one* experience with an artificial nipple. They are not needed anyhow, so just stay away. If you are already using bottles or pacifiers, stop now to prevent future problems. If your baby isn't born yet and you're planning a hospital birth, let everyone know that your baby does *not* get any artificial nipples. If you use the phrase "my lawyer" a few times, staff will listen to you more.

Do *not* introduce solids before he is developmentally ready for them. Most babies are ready for solids between 6 and 12 months, but look at your child, not the calendar. Signs of readiness include sitting unsupported, appearance of teeth, and development of the "pincer grasp"--when a baby picks up small objects between the thumb and *one* finger. If he has at least 2 of these signs, he *may* be ready for solids, but wait for all 3 if you want to be cautious. Then, give him a chunk of banana, and see if he eats it. If not, he's still not ready.

Once he *is* eating solids, remember that it is *supplements*, not replacements for nursing. Until his first birthday, he should only be getting small amounts of solids, gradually increasing.

Do not limit his nursing more than occasionally at any age. Let him nurse for comfort, even if you think he can't possibly "want more already!"

Encourage comfort nursing. Nurse him to sleep (at least most of the time), when he falls, or when he is about to have a tantrum (if you missed that point, offer to nurse him to calm down from that tantrum).

All of the above should encourage him to continue nursing until *he* is really done.

P.S. *All* babies will self-wean. Don't believe otherwise... And don't worry about teeth--most babies never bite, and most of those who do only do it once or twice.

Answer 8

I would say just keep giving him your breast. Don't use bottles at all. It only makes breastfeeding more difficult, I started my son on a bottle a day...and he didn't become attached to breastfeeding like I would have liked. Next time - no bottles.

Also, use your breast instead of a pacifer..as a soother. That way he will be more likely to become attached to breastfeeding rather than a binky.

I think all babies like to be close to mommy. And, breast feeding helps. I doubt you will have to worry about him self weaning any earlier than two years.

I have a girlfriend who bf until her daughter was 3.5 years. She would have gone longer but became pregnant. So, it is possible.
Good luck!

PS: My friend nursed through the whole teething thing. It depends on how determined you are. And, it sounds like you are determined. I'm bfing my son, almost 4 months. I plan on nursing through teething. And, up to my sons one year birthday.

My inlaws are from India and all bf through teeth. So, it is possible. They tell me to pull them off the breast immediately. Most moms tell me that you will scream and just that startle is enough to tell them not to do that.

I'll find out for myself in a few months...

Answer 9

"We"? Last time I checked, only the female was capable of breastfeeding. If your wife truly wishes to breastfeed until he's two that's fine. However, if the child chooses to wean himself before then, perhaps it is best to let this happen as it would be a natural occurance for the child. If the child is ready, he will wean himself.

Answer 10

If he needs your milk until he's 2 invest in a really good mechanical breast pump. If he does want to wean early you will still be able to give him your milk.