husband has feeelings for another woman,.and he hasnt cheatd and we are married with r first kid,and first marrige,
and he spent alottime with her shes a co worker and he was always at work,and now he is over seas.,should i give himm time to think it threw i need advice, he says he loves me jus doesnt know where the love went to , he still cares but he cant explain why he has feelinsg for her. please help
2006-06-24 10:10:27 · 12 answers · asked by x_charlotte_222_x 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello, I can't tell you what to do obviously it's ur life.. But being that I am married and my husband is in the military and is away from home all the time I personally would feel hurt, angry and deceived.. I wouldn't buy that bull about he doesn't kno how it happened and all that, because obviously he know's that he's married. He knew what he was doing the minute he started doing it. I personally wouldn't give him time to think about anything.. What the hell r u suppose to do sit back and wait for him, I think not. U have to decide for urself if u deserve to be treated like that. I don't know how long u've been married (not that it matters) but if he wasn't ready to be married then he shouldn't have done it. Don't let him use any lame excuses for y he's doing this. U should kno that u deserve better and plus u have a child.. Ask urself this ? if he did it this time how can u be sure he won't do it again. And is it worth it to find out. What if he decides to stay wit her.. or tells u he's sorry u take him back but he continues to see her. U have to think about all those things. Weigh the pros & cons.. Good Luck
2006-06-24 10:25:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
feelings for the other person is cultivated especially when u see that person more often and u spend more time with that person. usually happens a lot in offices and anywhere where two people work together. already depends on ur husband if he wants to break his marriage. be strong though. it's a heavy feeling when u are just being the second choice. the fact that he admitted that thing to u means its up to you if u can bear with it or not. its ur decision.
2006-06-24 10:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by shitake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been in this situation, and I am not divorced. My x was military and was in Japan for a year alone. Needless to say he didn't think he would get caught cheating boy was he wrong. Of course it didn't help when he came off the plane, he had me pick him up and he was wearing a different wedding ring. WHAT A DUMBASS HUH? I hope it works out for the best.
2006-06-24 10:40:02 · answer #3 · answered by sweetdreamin96 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it sounds to me you should listen to what he is really telling you. He has feelings for her that he cant kick so that should tell you that he wants his cake and eat it too. How do you know for sure he hasn't already cheated on you ? You cant be sure and I wouldn't take just his word on it. You deserve a man who loves only you as his wife. If my hubby came and told me that then I would have to say then go and try as much as it would break my heart to move on with my life and get someone new. Good luck sweetie
2006-06-24 10:18:23 · answer #4 · answered by Texas_at_its_best 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me there's already trouble...if he's dumb enough to risk losing you and what he has with you and your child;then he doesn't deserve you...You're his wife and both you and your child come first,not this stupid little infatuation...if he can't give her up,then move on,divorce him.Don't make the mistake of believing it's nothing and wake up later finding out he slept with her.If he loves you he'll stop and be there for you as a husband...if he can't do that it's his loss.
2006-06-24 10:40:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you do not give him time. He made a commitment to you and either he keeps it or he doesn't. If he can't figure that out by now, that's his problem not yours. You need to let him know in no uncertain terms are you are absolutely not putting up with this crap and if he can't get his head on straight, there is no reason to come back home.
2006-06-24 10:21:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably just going through a bad patch. Of course he doesn't love this other woman, he probably is enjoying the attention he's getting from her, You need to speak to her and tell her where to get off. It would be good for him to see you standing up for the marraige. But most of all tell him you understand and that you love him. Talking is good.
2006-06-24 10:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
why would you put your self and your child second .....your married and you come first and if he has feelings for some one else don't give him the time or day file for divorce and get spouse support and child support ...you should be #1 in his life he cant be put on side lines you can't you deserve so much better
2006-06-24 10:17:18 · answer #8 · answered by trouble 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him that he needs to stop seeing this toher girl so that way he can clear his mind. he cant think of you and see if he loves you when he is seeing this other girl.he needs to clear his mind by not seeing anyone. now that he is overseas he can do that but not if she is with him. he wont clear his mind by seeing her. if she is with him then it wont work.i think you should seek counceling right now.and he should too. it is not going to work tought if he is seeing someone else. he should stop seeing her and think about his family, it is not your fault that he is seeing someone else , you cant go to work with him, maybe you should move on and not let him decide what to do, he says he didnt cheat on you but do you know that for sure.good luck.
2006-06-24 10:17:38 · answer #9 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when he comes back make him know why he fell in love with u in the first place!! romantic dinners, walk around the beach, tell him u love him!!
2006-06-24 10:21:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋