i hav a friend who has a friend who kno gets hit by her boyfriend.?

Question

hes 2 yrs older than her n she says she luvs him. they look right 2gether n after he hits her he apoligizes n she 4gives him! i remember when he dragged her by the hair n my godsis smaked the sh** out of him. but 4 that he threatened her. "wait til we get home" he told her. my godsis let her sleep over @ her house 4 bout 1week. then she spent the nite @ my house n then she stayed wit her mama 4 almost 2 mouths. he was angry that he didnt get 2 c her so he told the cops that some ladies kidnapped her! it was hilarious when his plan backed fired n he spent 7 mouths in jail. but when he got out, he told her that he was a changed man n that he luvs her. so she 4gave him n they went on a vacation 2gether 4 bout a mouth. i dont trust him so i told that if anythin happened she shouldnt b afriad 2 call us. she came back n they seemed real happy. but i thought they were 2 happy. sometimes i c cuts on her body n she is a lil quite when shes alone wit him n a friend. i dont kno what 2 think!

Answer 1

Do you have her email address? Sent her this link: facetheissue.com and let her go watch the animation about abuse. She can't give up her rights and her stand in this relationship just so that she can keep him. The has tips and information on how to help out in this kind of situation. I don't think he will change. She probably is still being hit by him but isn't saying anything. Get her to check out that link.

Answer 2

Believe me when I tell you it takes more than 7 months in jail to make a man stop battering his partner. If anything, he probably learned sneakier ways of abusing her from other batterers he met in jail. That's what kind of a "changed man" he is, just knows new and different ways to control her.

How do I know this? I worked with battered women for 11 years. He'll say whatever it takes to get her back. She's trapped in the cycle of violence and won't leave him for good until she has had enough, until she is ready. No matter how badly the people who love her want her to leave him, it just won't happen.

You're wise to not trust him. I'm sure during that "vacation" he convinced her that she better act happy in front of other people or she'd pay at home.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They can direct you to a program in your area. Most programs offer shelter, individual and group counseling, assistance in starting over in a new apartment, help dealing with court, police, social services, etc. During a time when she is with you and he is NOT have her take this quiz: http://www.ndvh.org/educate/abuse_quiz.html . Maybe it will give her some insight into her situation. I pray she'll soon decide to leave him for good. God bless her (and you for being such a good friend).

Answer 3

Try to pay really close attention, and the way u wrote it sounds as if he is controlling her to the point he mite have threatened her so badly that she is forced to stay quiet. If thats the case, then if calling the cops is an option that may freak u out or cause sumthn to go wrong, try and plan or set-up a way in which u can talk to her ALONE. A safe place that her man may know nuthing of, and that may get her to talk to u or try to get help. But u never knoe, he mite be a changed man, but I think seven months in jail could not have changed him completely, so its always good to be cautious. He probably likes the feeling of control over things or people, so he mite still be how he was before. I think its up to ur friend to let u in on stuff and its up to u to help her do that.

Answer 4

it seems she has been caught in the same low self exteme trap and are so co-dependant that they believe they can't go on without the other person. men that hit women want control and its the only way they can get it. as they know another man would ripe his head off. they aren't even men at all. many relationships like this, someone winds up dead. watch the movie burning bed. i've known a few guys who beat on women. they don't do it anymore. the best thing is for her to get out and get some physc help with her low esteme. then there are family and shelters that take women in and help them start a new and better life. best of luck.

Answer 5

If he hit her once he will continue to do so. HE's gonna tell exactly what she wants to hear so she will stay with him and he can abuse her some more. Believe me she will pay for the time he spent in jail,the time she stayed with you and your friend and her mother. He will make up for all that time....Don't be suprised. He has to make her think everything is ok...It's just due time Ifshe acts different when she's around him there is definatley some abuse going on. All I can say is Pray for her and continue to be her friend....She will definately need one. God Bless.

Answer 6

right this is what you do pass to the closest activities shop purchase a baseball bat. Comfront the mf and permit him now what's happening and how you experience. permit him comprehend the regulations and rules of your courting. If he breaks them then smash him. Jk yet heavily permit him comprehend that this bs is killing you and which you won't be in a position to stand it lots longer if he's not honest in saying sorry unload him. do no longer permit your self be taken care of like s7h7i7t anymore. he's a jerk i wish each little thing works out for the final. stable success! a million

Answer 7

Can I suggest that you write normal? Instead of all the i c and 2 no, and the n's geez, this was so distracting that I could'nt focus on what you were asking! Write normal!

Answer 8

it may be hard but u have to tell someone before its to late I'm a victim of abuse and trust me nothing will get any better without some help

Answer 9

I think you should notify authorities because its not something to think about, just make sure whatever you do she's safe.I suggest telling authorities, or call the hotline they have.

Answer 10

Hit me once, shame on you.
Hit me twice, shame on me.

Enough said. He's abusive and she needs to get the hell away from him. Period.