My son moved in w/ me and my boyfriend....My boyfriend said to charge him $65 which he pays per week..he does things around the house when asked, like cleaning dishes, or whatever you want him to do....My son is ADHD and has always needed alot of reminders throughout his life....he is no longer on meds because they are so costly...he trys hard at work but can't focus that well and can't perform well...I'm afraid that if anything happens tp me he is doomed...is there anything that can be done for him? My boyfriend doesn't understand ADHD and he downs him ALOT!! If he had meds things would be better for him but he can't hold a job down long enough to get insurance....I'm going crazy...I'd like for him to be on his own someday living a normal life...Please Help!!
2006-06-24 06:04:06 · 8 answers · asked by vickififi 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
my son is 22...
2006-06-24 06:23:29 · update #1
my boyfriend downs him to me constantly...
2006-06-24 06:31:10 · update #2
my boyfriend downs him to me constantly...
2006-06-24 06:31:13 · update #3
He's your son, and the other guy is your boyfriend.......so please don't let him interfere with what's goin on with your fam...you need to watch out for your son. I know ADHD is a really terrible disorder to handle, but it's not his fault he's like that.
Maybe if you stopped asking him to pay for rent and buy the meds instead that would be of great help. It might even increase his chance in staying at you work long enough.
I'm really sorry, but without the meds your son will be helpless without you.
I advise you to take your boyfriend with u and your son to a psychologist! even if it was for just one session.....the therapist will explain to him what ADHD is, and he might try to help.
Most people don't understand ADHD and think that its just like any other psychological disorder that can be treated with motivation and will. He needs to understand that its a mental disorder rather than it is psychological. Take him with you for professional consultancy. If he then doesn't show sympathy or empathy towards your son... then i really think you're better off without him....you can always replace a man.....but never your son.
Good luck.....and please contact me if you need any help, or just let me know what goes on with you.
2006-06-24 06:15:45 · answer #1 · answered by xqueenyx 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The first thing you need to do is to get help for your boyfried because he is the one causing some of the stress you are having with helping your son. If your boyfriend does not want to understand your son's condition, then you should dump the boyfriend. Stop letting your boyfriend critize your son because of your son's condition.
Your son would be able to get some of his meds for free if you take the time to find out how. Once your son start taking his meds again, you will see a great improvement. The money your son gives you every week, take the money and use it help pay for the meds he needs. There are programs to assist you son in getting a job.
The boyfriend is the problem and you should not tolerate how your boyfriend talks to and treat your son. Honey, there are other men out there, put your son first and worry about a boyfriend later.
2006-06-24 13:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kids with ADHD usually need medications, and i guess you really have to have a professional (psychiatrist or psychologist) see him. i know it's costly but it's the best way for him to be able to cope and adjust to living a normal life... other than this, you have to enroll him in a special school, and it's also expensive... i'm sorry.
about your boyfriend, you have to set him straight. talk to him and tell him that the last thing your son needs is being put down a lot. if you guys can't afford the meds and the doctor, and some other stuff, it would really help if you would surround your son with a lot of love and care. i know you understand your son and you love him so much but your boyfriend also needs to chip in, in order to try working things out.
spend a lot of time with your son. do stuff with him. and your boyfriend really needs to stop this kind of attitude towards your son. i hope i helped even for a bit. good luck! :)
2006-06-24 13:14:24 · answer #3 · answered by J. McCoy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try the new video BEING IN CONTROL: Natural Solutions For ADHD Dyslexia and Test Anxiety
http://jasonalster.googlepages.com/home
2006-06-26 18:33:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to all the above .... I am the boyfriend and i never put him down in front of him..... also under stand he does NOTHING he doesnt cook, clean the house, pick up after himself, laundry, iron, and only works 4 hrs 5 days a week when he wants to and he is 22 years old! i know he is adhd but my girlfriend does EVERYTHIN FOR HIM EXCEPT WIPES HIS AS*.... Is that right and am i wrong in by wanting her to cut the strings and let him go so he will grow up......
2006-06-24 13:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by larry g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem my son is 18 and nw on his own because of his adhd i just try to keep reminding him all the time that his adhd is a diease and would youre boyfriend treat his family the same way if they had cancer or something because its a diease you know what i mean
2006-06-24 13:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by sweetandsassyjoelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You touch my heart. I am so very sorry I do not have the wisdom
to help you with this concern. I can certainly understand your concern with when you are gone. Best to you, and I hope you are
able to find a solution. Peace
2006-06-24 13:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must accept the realioty ,though it hurts. Your bf should be more supportive , caring for you at least. some things have so much in them you have to think it by yourself.
2006-06-24 13:30:33 · answer #8 · answered by Vio Prince 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋