Referring back to one of my old questions, http://answers.yahoo.com/question/;_ylt=ArbezGg5SWNVGBowBMHAvLsjzKIX?qid=1006011304819 , I'm curious to know- how serious would an affair need to be before you would want & expect to be told about it? What makes hearing such a confession so threatening that most people would rather be deceived?
Is this kind of honesty more likely to be destructive or to lead to greater intimacy & trust?
* Question taken from a book I'm reading.
2006-06-24 04:41:36 · 14 answers · asked by Fancy You 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think this kind of honesty is destructive. Unless the person who is confessing about the affair is stating the reason why the relationship is over and why there is no chance to reconcile.
First off the act itself is destructive, there is no positive spin you can put on having an affair. Second, you have blind sided the other person, a person who is confessing about an affair and not ending the relationship is doing it for one of two reason, to clear their conscience so they don't feel guilty anymore or to make the other person feel unworthy or unlovable, that is to transfer the fault away from themselves.
At this point in my life, if the person I was with had an affair, it would end the relationship, no further discussion, I'm to old to put up with that sort of nonsense from a lover.
2006-06-24 04:57:08 · answer #1 · answered by nlmcp 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How SERIOUS would an affair need to be.... how serious??? Any affair in itself is serious!! Very, very serious. I would NOT stand to be cheated on even one time. The trust that is gathered and earned would be forever tainted, and I could never gain it back. I would forever be sniffing his clothes for perfumes... looking around for love notes... watching his every move and notion to see if he seems a little too "happy" this week ( could he be thinking of another lover?!?). I would become obsessed. OH no, I would be a wreck!! Just the thought of it drives me crazy. Not the thought that he could have someone else, or what it is they did... but the fact that he tried to deceive me. THAT is what would get me. I will not be played like that. If you are bored with me.. tired of me.. let me know and lets go our seperate ways forever, or seperate for a just little while. But do NOT trick me or be dishonest.. nonono.... lol Let the honesty start before something else starts. Sometimes people get bored in a relationship. If they think the relationship is worth holding on to, than try together as a team to work things out. Play games.. go to new places.. role play... go on an adventure to some place you never thought you'd go. There are so many things to keep a relationship fresh, that an affair, for me, would ruin everything. THAT'S my story, and I'm stickin to it. : P
2006-06-26 15:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by royrox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do trust my boyfriend very much. I am also trustworthy, but I have a very active sex drive so if someone else is interested in me I have a tendency to flirt... but I would never cheat on him. I did that to an ex and it destroyed me. He and I actually have an honesty pay-back policy. If we ever were to do anything with someone else, we have to tell the other person, and they get a freebie. That might be really ****** up but I'm not sure... It seems to be okay for us.
2006-06-24 04:55:21 · answer #3 · answered by lizwatson109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I trust my husband implicitly. Our marriage of 8 years would be nothing without that. If he cheated, and told me, we'd work through it because I know that he's not a "player" by nature. I'd prefer to know, because perhaps I could make changes in my own behavior that would make the event unlikely to occur again.
A good marriage takes effort, regardless of how much love is in the relationship.
2006-06-24 04:55:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A affair is a affair and anyone that does this is evil. And the person they are cheating on needs to cut off all contact from their untrustworthy mate.
2006-06-24 04:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by tiger_skratch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I fully trust my mate for he has never given me a reason not to otherwise.. i as well can be trusted because thats just who i am. and when your in a good,healthy, happy relationship its not a question that would ever have to be asked.
2006-07-01 05:26:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Destructive. I would leave my partner as soon as the came out of his mouth. I do not cheat and would NEVER talk to anyone a gain who would ever hurt me like that just so they could get a foreign satisfaction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
2006-06-24 04:46:41 · answer #7 · answered by hummingbird 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there was any sort of sexual contact, i would expect to be told about it, so i could end the relationship right then. im alot of things, not all of them good, but thats something ive never done and something i would not expect to be forgiven for, and i dont feel i would forgive that either.
2006-06-26 15:39:55 · answer #8 · answered by ilikethickchix 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one wants change. Knowing something bad requires us to change and that is hard, so we rather not know and so carry on as usual. Until it really hurts us not matter how hard we pretend it is not there.
2006-06-24 04:45:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I trust my lover with my every fiber in me. If there is no trust then there is no relationship.
2006-07-03 12:55:09 · answer #10 · answered by twothicqueforyou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋