how stressful is it being a doctors wife?

Question

Is it really stressful to be a doctors wife? My boyfriend is starting his intern/residency at a hospital next year, and he is going into neurosurgery. He told me that I'm the one that he wants to marry. I want marry him as well. However, my mom told me that being a doctors wife is very stressful on the marriage, especially when he is a neurosurgeon. I want to know what im getting myself into once i marry him. Does anybody have any ideas?

my mom is the wife of a cardiologist, and im the daughter of a cardiologist

Answer 1

yes his job will always come first my suggestion is to have an affair on the side ,,,someone who can make you feel like you are number one in their life...perhaps a person of lower economic class

this will keep you fullfilled in your personal esteem

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

I'll tell you my opinion. I'm not saying I'm right or wrong, this is how I see it. Doctors have really stressful careers because they're dealing with life and death. And because they have stressful careers, most of them aren't skilled in leaving their stress at work, they bring home their stress too! When people are stressed, they tend to take out their stress on people when they come home from work like for instance, their wives and/or children. And then their wives and/or children get stressed too!
You have a choice 1) You can sit there and be his confidant when he talks about his day at work and listen to his bragging or complaints or 2) If you can't handle it, then just leave the room until everything calms down. And then talk to him then.
You need to understand that doctors have crazy work schedules so they can't be "there" for you completely. It is difficult to say that their # 1 priority is their work and then their wives/girlfriends come # 2. There's also a risk of them having extramarital affairs because they spend so much time with their collegueges that sometimes they "slip" There's also a risk for their wives/girlfriends to have affairs too because they don't see their husbands/boyfriends often.
Now I'm not saying to leave your relationship right away. See how it goes first. If it gets too much for you to handle after awhile, you can both go to counseling together if you need help and really love each other (yes both of you has to go for this to work!) and want to make it work OR you can leave the relationship. There's no shame in leaving a relationship when it comes to your happiness and well being.

Answer 4

I am a nurse in a teaching hospital. I have increadible respect for the residents and interns at the hospital. They are always there and we call them when we need something. I cant help but wonder where their families, husbands and wives are while they are the hospital all of the time. These doctors live at the hospital and you can tell they get tired. They eat, sleep and basically live there.
It must take a lot of patience and understanding on the part of their families. These physicians are really dedicated to what they are doing and they work very hard to make their careers successful.
Also, as far as cheating on the spouses because they work away from home and spend so much time with the opposite sex. Get real! Residents don't have time to have sexual relations at home much less in the hospital.

Answer 5

Hello...it depends on your needs as an individual as well as how you generally feel about meeting the needs of your loved one. I am married to an Intern right now. He just entered his second year. Some of the wives have a hard time because of their husbands' schedules, but NOT ME!!! I LOVE my solitude. We just talked about this this morning! I'd rather be with him, of course, but on nights when he's on call, my daughter and I eat differently, chill differently, entertain one another differently. When he is here, we just get into one another more. If the two of you are committed to being supportive to one another then there shouldn't be any more problem than if you married any other type of guy. I love it and feel blessed that my husband has such a pivotal role in the lives of people he meets during times when they need a helping, willing healing hand. Go for it! ALSO, if he joins a good hospital, the Support Systems built in are PHENOMENAL!! Tell him to come to the Cleveland Clinic and join the "House Staff Spouses Association." Okay, maybe that is too specific, but there is support and admit it: you get to maintain your freedom and individuality while still benefitting from the love you share with your husband.

Answer 6

Marrying A Neurosurgeon

Answer 7

Is your mother married to a neurosurgeon? If not, disregard anything she has to say on the subject. Are you the daughter of a neurosurgeon? If so, then you already know what they are like.
If neither of these apply, then follow your heart. NO ONE can tell how things are going to work out in a marriage, or relationship. You take what you know and have and experienced, and YOU make the best decision. Good luck sweet heart.

Answer 8

I am doctors husband and yes it can stressful, since they are on call often they get back tired and stressed, but as they get higher up the ladder their hours improve

Answer 9

My dear, Marring a doctor is the same as marring a business man or a person who is really devoted to his job.If you love him and you are also proud of his profession go ahead. I doctor who is busy with his patients is a person who sucrify his time(day and night) family and friend. What I am advising you is make him to understand you and tell him to make him self available as much as possible. I he loves you that will happen. Please don't look for any other relationship to fill the gap. Wish you good luck.

Answer 10

Shopping and traveling are great stress reducers!

Answer 11

You should know. Your were raised in a health care family enviromnent. Marry him you'll be well off.