He says its over me not keeping the house spottless. I love him very much, i dont want a divorce. He says he still loves me and doesnt want to hurt me, but he cant live with me. I hate this, I really want to make this work. He said he doesnt want to rush this so we can plan out what we are going to do, but last night he got a sitter and stayed the night with his buddy. He said we might as well get used to it, Please anyone help me change his mind!
I really dont want to go through this, i am so hurt.
Any advise will help.
2006-06-24 03:09:43 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sorry honey, but if he says it cuz of the house not being clean then that's a big fat lie... you dont divorce someone you love over something like that... he prolly has met someone and if he wants to go then there is nothing you can do about it...say your piece and make sure you get the child support that due to yours and his children..
2006-06-24 03:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by panda 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well what he is doing is not right but no one wants a divorce just cuz the spouse can not keep the house clean! That's wrong! Looks like he either has someone else in his life now and he wants you out! And if he really loved you as he said he would never ask for a divorce! And did he talk about your 3 yr old child whats gonna happen to him/her?
I do not see any use talking to him and trying to ask him to not divorce you! Its not you at all its him.. he has made up his mind and since he started sleeping elsewhere already that says a lot! But do ask him the real reason for this divorce, its just cuz of the house there is something else and you do deserve to know that much!
2006-06-24 03:37:44 · answer #2 · answered by Pari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It ain't over the house, and if it was then maybe he should get off his a$$ and help clean it. Anyway, he probably isn't really in love with you anymore and wants a divorce so he can be with another woman, and if there isn't a woman already than there will be as soon as the divorce is done and over with. I'm sorry this has happened, I hope that maybe he's just having a little break down and will get his senses back but I doubt it.
2006-06-24 04:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by Kirsten T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello first i am going to say i am sorry for what has pappened to you and i think you and your husband need to talk it out and try to figure out what whent rong. Now if he sead he wants a divorce only because the house is not spottles then he is maybe cheating on you or he don't want to be married with you anymore. that excuse he is giveing you is dum. I don't think he should shut you out like that what about his and your 3 year old child you now how hurt he will be taht is mom and dad are getting a divorse and when he grows up he will find out he left you because the house is not spottless you now how dum that sounds that is why i think he is seeing another or he don't love you. and again i am so sorry miss for the pain that you are going throough i am 28yrs old and i would never ever do that to somebody like that if i was married. If you ever want to talk again and need advice email me at jpaone1@yahoo.com or if you have yahoo messanger buz me and we would talk take care and good luck miss email me if you meed advice.
2006-06-24 03:30:27 · answer #4 · answered by jpaone1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's already made up his mind that it's over.
Are you saying he wants a divorce before you don't keep the house spotless....and that's it??
Come on, there has to be something more to it than just that....
My wife is a "stay at home" mom and the house isn't always spotless when I get home from work, I don't freak over it. I know she's been busy tending to our 2 year old son.
Granted, my house is usually semi-clean for the most part anyway as my wife stays on top of it....if your house is a disaster and you never clean at all....and you're a stay at home mom that does nothing but watch Judge Judy all day.....than yea, that's going to get old real quick....
I'm assuming he helps when he gets home from work right? With his 3 year old?
2006-06-24 03:16:58 · answer #5 · answered by Shep 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't want this after 21 years, either. But, now, 2 years later, I am so grateful it happened. I had to start over at age 49; you're 20! It will be okay and I'll pray for you. Seek some professional help right away cuz your kid's gonna really need you. I was such a wreck that I kinda forced my daughter to be my parent until I got it together again and that was SOOO wrong.
Pray the Serenity Prayer daily, and move on. Get a good lawyer. You deserve better! He also wants his cake and eat it, too. Move on.
2006-06-24 03:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to help out with the house cleaning and the baby. He should wash the dishes after dinner. He should wash the baby before bedtime. When you get married majority of men think that it's the woman's responsiblity to keep the house clean. Maybe you both need to go and get counseling from a minister that has been married for at least 20-50 yrs.
2006-06-24 03:16:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change someones mind, and this is NOT over a dirty house. He is focusing on a single problem to justify his actions. Something is going on with HIM to make him feel as if he wants out of this commitment. Other than counseling to dig into the real reasons for him to want to divorce, I don't have much advice. Counseling should be for him and/or both of you; he'll probably fight doing it, but it really won't hurt, even if he's made up his mind, it may help you deal
2006-06-24 03:26:44 · answer #8 · answered by Tiggerrick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT's the reason he gave you.......you don't keep a clean house.
Okay, okay obviously he doesn't understand that caring for a toddler takes alot of work.
All I can say is counseling. This problem is so trivial it doesn't merit a divorce. There is a deep-seated problem that needs to come out. If you can't afford counseling. Go to Church....if you don't already. You can get marriage counseling for free at most Churches. Usually you can get help without even being a member.
2006-06-24 03:17:23 · answer #9 · answered by shakia27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it isn't over the house at all. That is a excuse he is using. If he truely loved you and wanted this to work he would help with the house work or either give you time to prove you could keep it up. Do you work also? Even if you don't work no man would leave his wife unless he had fallen out of love or was seeing another woman. Don't beg this man to stay around because if he isn't happy he will always keep you on pins about a divorce.
2006-06-24 03:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know ur goin through a rough time, ive been there. 24 yrs old and already divorced. yeah it was different that what ur talking about but i see where ur coming from. im not gonna lie. going through my divorce at 24 was the hardest thing ive ever gone through. and this was over a girl who cheated on me while i was deployed to iraq...theres no getting around it, but you have to know that if a guy is gonna divorce you over some triviality like housework, than trust me, u can do better. i know from ur perspective, your thinkin this guy doesnt know me, he doesnt know what my relationship is like...maybe, maybe not. i was the one who pushed for my divorce, but that didnt mean it was an easy decision. u have to know that life goes on, that there is someone for everyone out there. this might be the point in your life where everything changes. you decide to go with this divorce, and maybe at court you meet your dream guy, you never know...all im saying is that everything happens for a reason. itll be some time before u can get over it, trust me, but you will get over it. time heals all wounds. if you really care about this guy, yeah fight for it, but dont stay with someone who doesnt appreciate you or doesnt want to be with you. in the end your hurting yourself and ur kid
2006-06-24 03:16:11 · answer #11 · answered by af4sguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋