Me and my boyfriend have been dating for an year and know each other for two years. We are buying an home together which will be ready for us to move into in Sept.! Well my daughter and his daughter are so thrilled to be together and he absoultyle is and family man. He shows me and my daughter love all the time and not to mention how spontanuos he is out of the blue we all go on mini road trips and stay at great beach all over FL but he has yet to tell me outloud that he loves me . I tell him that i think he is the best guy in the world and some times I tell him I love him and stuff like that so he knows where he stands. He needs to tell me and I don`t know how to handel this ? what do I do?
2006-06-24 03:07:16 · 11 answers · asked by kaylee_beach 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Come right out and ask him why he doesn't say it, express to him that you need to hear the words. Some guys have a hard time saying these words, some guys feel that if they show you love then there is no need to say the words and some guys say these words to loosely just to see what they can get from you.
Someone told me once that they would never say "I love you" unless they were "in love" with the person, so maybe in might love you but he hasn't fallen in love with you so this is why he hasn't said it. I have also been told that some men feel that if they say these words then the whole relationship will change and they don't want it to change.
I hope some guys answer this question so we ladies can get some more insight into why some men have a hard time saying these three little words.
2006-06-24 03:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like something I used to do, and still do. Saying 'I love you' can be hard for some guys (not to mention the vast ranges of what the word LOVE means.) I felt so awkward the first time I said it and REALLY meant it, and that was to my new born son, while we were alone. His actions of going places may have to do more with what he wants to do, more than showing you love. Or maybe, that is his way of expressing affection. I do agree you should ask, perhaps not 'do you love me,' but ask how he feels about 'us' and 'our relationship.' Where does he see you guys in 5, 10 or X# of years? Don't take one word answers; and ask for him to expand on what he said; to give you examples of why he answered that way. Maybe saying it is harder for him because either he's been hurt and he feels that makes him vulnerable, or because it means that much more to him when he says it.
2006-06-24 10:38:01 · answer #2 · answered by Tiggerrick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my partner had a really hard time with that L word. he had a really bitter divorce resulting in him leaving the state where he grew up just to get away from the ex. we have been together for 8 years now. he used to say that i should be able to tell that he cares. finally after all this time he does tell me he loves me once in a while. but as he said, if i cant tell by now that he loves me, he could talk until he is blue in the face and i wouldnt believe it anyway..
i had an ex that told me he loved me constantly. come to find out, i dont think that he loved me at all. after that, somebody telling me that they love me doesnt make me think its true. i would rather have actions because actions speak louder than words anyway.
2006-06-30 10:28:11 · answer #3 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all we are talking about a man, alot of them believe that if they show you, by being there, taking care of you that saying I love you isn't important. Why should they tell you when they show you everyday how much they care. Women on the other hand need and enjoy hearing those words on a regular basis. This problem alot of times comes from their family ways. My Husband of 20 years at first never said I love you except maybe during sex. But I also noticed that he never told his mom that he loved her, he took it for granted that she knew. I needed to hear it all the time, so men are not mind readers and so you have to tell them how much you like hearing I love you. After explaining to him that even though he didn't feel the need to say it, it was important to me to hear it. So every time he went to work I would say I love you and made him answer back the same. When he'd come home I'd say I love you and had him answer me back. For him it became a habit but for me it felt good hearing it and I knew by his deeds that he meant it. Plus at first I would sing the Barney song (Ilove you, you love me, were a happy family) get the point. He hates that song so when I would start singing it I would get I love you real fast. Men are wonderful gritters but they need work on communicating and that's why we are here. Be honest and tell them what makes you smile and feel good ,and how important it is for you to hear those words even though you know he loves you. It's good for the kids to, to learn how to say I love you for know special reason just because. Good Luck , Love you
2006-06-24 10:34:52 · answer #4 · answered by davidjudyrices 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard for guys to say I Love You sometimes. There was another gentlemen in here that had trouble saying I love you to his girlfriend and he needed advice on creative ways to say I love you to her.
If you want to get your boyfriend to say those 3 magic words to you, don't smother or pressure him because it's going to intimidate him more. You can tell him firmly "Look (his name)...you already know I love you and everything you do for me and I appreciate it but if you really do love me I need to hear it. I don't read minds you know and I don't expect you to read my mind, which is why I tell you straight out. If I don't hear those words, I feel like something is missing in our relationship. I'm not going to pressure you into saying those words to me because those words have to come from you. Let me know." Then leave the room and go to another room (but don't slam the door because he might think you're mad) so he can think about it. Don't come out until he comes after you and/or when everything calms down.
2006-06-24 10:28:13 · answer #5 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would ask him if he really do love u and he say yes then tell him to tell u but some guys do not like to tell u how they feel or tell u alway the time i love u
2006-06-24 10:28:47 · answer #6 · answered by angel h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him? Tell him you love him, then ask him if he loves you. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you've never heard him say that he loves you and that even though you feel his love for you, you need to hear it. He's not a mind reader. Go for it.
2006-06-24 10:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time you are alone with him and you tell him you love him, can you tell him to look you in the I and say 'I LOVE YOU TOO', if he say it, tell him that it did not hurt and it really not hard to say. Hopeful whatever the problem was he can over come it and say it on his own.
But if he can not say it, ask him 'why'?'.
2006-06-24 10:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by calvin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of boyfriend/girlfriends shouldn't be buying a house. and he doesn't say it because he doesn't.
2006-06-24 10:15:23 · answer #9 · answered by Mr Soul Pole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dunno if i'm really qualified to be giving advice but hey i love you is a big thing to say huh maybe he doesn't want to throw the words around unless he's sure? it would mean more that way...chill
2006-06-24 10:21:55 · answer #10 · answered by b_blanket119 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋