A week ago I spent an hour talking with my wife on the phone. There was alittle arguing but not much. She had said that she was thinking and that it was wrong of her to leave our marriage and family. She left on March 3rd with our son that was 7 months old at the time and moved into her fathers house. She has filed for a divorce since then. Our problems were never that bad for this to happen. At the time of her leaving I was making career change to provide a better life for my family and we had agreed about that.
Why would she say now that she made a mistake leaving and why hasn't she done anything to show she wants to reconcile? What should I do?
2006-06-24 02:52:14 · 8 answers · asked by dean_moriarty00 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sometimes people make decisions they regret. in many cases it is because they think things will be better in a different situation only to find the new situation has 'different' problems. In other cases it is because the person has their own issues, but instead or taking responsibility for their own happiness, it is easier to blame someone else for their unhappiness.
If you want to remain married, seek counseling for both of you. Your wife may need to go on her own as well. A really good book on the subject if you are interested is called 'getting the love you want' by harville hendrix (PhD). That helped me to understand a lot of what went on in my life.
Good luck.
2006-06-24 03:08:46 · answer #1 · answered by 2thseeker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife has already filed for divorce and she's not doing anything to reconcile. No matter how hard you try to win her back, if she's not responding to your efforts, that means she's not motivated to get back together with you. It is mentally draining and there's no happiness there. It has to be 2 people working on the relationship, not just 1. You also can't force people to change their feelings about you. So right now you can tell your wife straight out- "I'm not sure what you want. I'm not a mind reader. I've tried my best. I love you but I also can't wait around for you forever. So I'm just going to have to move on with my life. I'll get over it eventually if nothing changes. I would prefer that we would try to work things out and not get a divorce. But I also can't force you to change your feelings about me. It's your happiness I care about and if a divorce makes you happy I will honor it."
Also, how you move on with your life is up to you. You can divert and meet different people and keep yourself busy so you can get over this painful seperation. Overtime your heart will mend and each day will get easier and easier.
2006-06-24 03:09:43 · answer #2 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go talk to her in person. Both of you have made some mistakes, and it's time to try to reconcile now. Sit down with her, and hash out your differences. This marriage WILL work, if both of you are willing to give it a fair chance. Good Luck!!
2006-06-24 03:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you want to do? whats in your heart man? Everybody makes mistakes. Marriage is not cut and dry and always easy. Find out why she left and go from there. She didnt just leave for lack of better things to do. Are you good to her and is she good to you? You guys need to talk and get to the bottom of this. You married each other so you owe it to yourselves to try to make things better.
2006-06-24 03:00:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say to you is that when we get into arguments we say mean things and treat our other half pretty bad and adds to the impulse of that individual to take drastic measures to get away from bad things. I understand the pain but not as much as yours however is best to consult a profesional in the field to help you because matters like this specially with a child in the middle causes anger within ourselves that sometimes can drive us to do stupid things and is best to deal with this type of problem with the assistance of profesionals so the problem never get to that point of stupidness.
2006-06-24 03:03:28 · answer #5 · answered by wiseornotyoudecide 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counceling would be a good start,maybe see if she'd aggree to that.If not try talking to her,but don't give up on being a parent,a chid still needs both parents whether the marriage works or not.
2006-06-24 03:50:25 · answer #6 · answered by rosie w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her than recommend couples counseling. If she really loves you and wants to reconcile, surely she must see the benefits it will have for both of you.
2006-06-24 08:51:28 · answer #7 · answered by ~Mother Of Angels~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself what you want and what you are willing to put up with
2006-06-24 02:56:41 · answer #8 · answered by leo29sexy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋