I am a writer and I love to hear from people about my work, what do you think of this poem?

Question

Shards of Splintered Change

I’m not willing to change,
I fear the change in the weather.
I know I’m getting older.
I look back on the days when I could see through the shards of glass,
Images of horror were once placed among my wall of memories.
I don’t want to grow up; I’ll never be able to fill anyone’s shoes.
People are afraid of the world outside,
It moves with the wind,
The rain clouds saturate the graves.
I fear change.
I don’t wish to see the manipulation, I’d like to watch people come together.
What would the world be like if everyone held hands?
How would that change the world?
I don’t want change; it forces us to confront the tattoos on the arm, the blood on our clothes, and the sex and violence.
Sex divides people, and yet it creates them.
The holy wars and the harsh judgments passed between women are unlikely to change the world.
Women are not the only cruel sex.
Fear; let me fear what I do not understand.
Let me fear alone.
Women are allowed to bleed because it is their nature to do so.
The blood of life is worshiped by those can understand the importance of nature and the womb of the female mother.
We all grow in the womb.
It is the birthplace of love, sex, violence, rage, guilt, and horror.
It is the birthplace of stones and polished crystals, dying children and poverty.
The womb creates the changes in the world, the changes that fear and the changes that melt the hot wax on our souls.
Change the way we teach our children.
Change the way we talk to each other.
Change the way he feed our elderly.
Change the way we write songs.
I am afraid of change, how can I help?
I am afraid to change the world, how can I sing?
I am afraid of what I do not keep locked within.

Answer 1

"Shards of Splintered Change" is a moving piece of modern poetry;its a powerful piece and touches the very core of all humanity -the womb. I have no clue about who you are or what you've been through in the past but this poem can only be written by someone who has deep understanding of the world,of a time when holding on to one's fears seems to be the only right thing to do and yet to be torn between the cries for change , to put an end to the uncaring madness, the apathy we see around us. To view life through splintered glass is unique imagery, the animation of suspended disbelief. Tormented images fills your mind which drives you deeper back to the inner recesses of your heart. "What would the world be like if everyone hold hands?" That's a beautiful line. I've never read anything more direct and eloquent as these lines. Its the kind of poem that only someone bordering genius could ever write. You're so good and should be writing more of this.

Answer 2

It's by way of a few within the romantic interval, like Yeats, Blake, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Byron: She walks in cosmetic, just like the night time Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that 's fine of darkish and vibrant Meet in her element and her eyes: Thus mellow'd to that gentle mild Which heaven to gaudy day denies. One color the extra, one ray the fewer, Had part impair'd the anonymous grace Which waves in each raven tress, Or softly lightens o'er her face; Where ideas serenely candy categorical How natural, how expensive their residing-location. And on that cheek, and o'er that forehead, So smooth, so calm, but eloquent, The smiles that win, the tints that glow, But inform of days in goodness spent, A brain at peace with all beneath, A middle whose love is blameless!

Answer 3

Nice. Prosey. Keep working at it until it feels fluid. A good potter throws a lot of pots. I see two or three poems in this piece--I'd hone the theme down a little more. Most importantly, keep writing! ;)

Answer 4

It does not have the taste of a poem it seems to be like a free style text rather than a poem.

Answer 5

As a chef reduces a sauce to concentrate flavour, a poet reduces language.

I agree with cengaver. It's too dilute.

Answer 6

I stopped reading after I saw the title

Answer 7

I liked it at the begining but then it seems to wander off but it has alot of potential if you ever edit it i would like to see that version and i would like to see some of your other poems email them to me if you want

Answer 8

Two thumbs up i like it

Answer 9

Ya dude it's good, but what u'r r trying to say frm u'r poem.

Answer 10

Hey, its your poem. If you like it, great. Otherwise I wouldnt read it again.