Have u been in this situation???

Question

I have a bf & im @ d moment falling 4 a guy.. we're getting really close. we're both committed though but we still feel so emotionally connected.. there's no sex involved ok.

i luv my babe but i feel im beginning 2 luv this other guy.

i cant avoid him coz we live in d same flat.. wat 2 do???
guys, help me out here!

Answer 1

When you find yourself in this situation, AND YES, I have also been , it's telling you a few things. First of all, guy #2 has something to offer you that you're not getting in the relationship with your BF that you need. What #2 offers you is telling you this is something you need to have met , it's something that you require in a partner, in a relationship. We learn about ourselves through our experinces with others.

What to do. Since you say you love your bf, If you love him, then this is your opportunity to learn how to communicate to him what you need, and give him the chance to make it happen between you two. Try that first - he deserves the chance to grow and just cheating on him or leaving him without explanation hurts everybody and you'll never know what could have been.

You say #2 is also committed. You might as well examine your own heart for the time being and your current relationship, since he is not available anyway. You wouldn't want to be seen by his girl as being a man poacher, that you broke up their relationship.

Consider also the fact that you live in the same flat. Such close quarters could jeopardize your living situation if things get messy. You are room mates? I'm American, my understanding is that flat is the same thing as apartment.

Once you've tried working it out within the relationship you're in , if you're still not satisfied, then the grown up thing to do is own your feelings and break up with the guy. It's more painful to end things on a note where you look like a cheater or a liar, you wouldn't want to do that to someone you care about, and you don't want to make yourself out to be that. The mature and fair thing isn't always easy, but set him free and you can be free to pursue the other guy if and when he becomes available. Why should you have to creep around?

Good luck and be happy. I hope that helps.

Answer 2

Are you wanting someone to give you the permission to have an affair, because you know its not the right thing to do?
Not going to happen here. Life is like this, there are always temptations, you know that every time you go past the candy store, If that's a picture of you then you know what you have to go through to keep that figure...all kinds of temptations...this is the same, only this time its a kind of candy that can hurt you, your relationship, your boyfriend, and the other guys significant other, and any kids involved. Want that on your conscience?

Answer 3

You are capable of doing this.
This is nothing but over sexual feelings.
You may be fed up with first boy friend and you want to see and enjoy how the other guy does everything.
Nobody can check a girl like you. If sex is not involved, it will happen later. Why then you are attracted to another opposite sex, when you are already having one? Question your self and decide.

Answer 4

you can tell your BF that you're confused and you don't know. but tell him that your new lover is just a friend, as a brother or something. start avoiding your BF and start kissing your lover. don't do sex with your lover no matter what you like to be dominated by him. try your best to wait a little bit. and from time to time go out with your boyfriend [i mean the first one] and tell him that you really trust him and he's very nice. let him try to kiss you and stop him when he tries to, and excuse immediately "sorry but I'm not sure". spend more and more time with your lover but not in secret, in full public. eat with him, watch TV with him, let him help you in cooking, let him fix your car radio, but try to not lose your first BF from your side. your BF will wait for you and will check what will happen between you and new lover, and he'll never get a new GF until he sees you sleeping naked under your new lover. at that moment, your feeling toward your new lover will be clear for yourself [after 4 months of sex with him].
you're a whore

Answer 5

Dear no one but ur own self can answer this
do u wanna spoil ur n both these ppls life..
i dont think so....
just close ur eyes n the first person u see b committed to him n chuk the other
it aint healthy to be confused not for u nor for them so better decide soon

Answer 6

Hi baby babe,


See this is your situation and you are the one who has to decide.We can just guide you to take the right decision.I would just say thet first you think foryourself calmly that wether you are happy with your present BF, and the reasons for it. Then think about the new guy and the reasons for it. You will get a better picture yourself, of whom you prefer and why. Then it will be very easy for you to decide with whom you can go ahead.
This is a matter of heart and love. So you should be very clear with your heart and hey dont think that changing BF is bad just because you are leaving him for you are not happy with him.But make sure if you would be happier with the new guy or is it just going to repeat itself once again for an another?
Happy Thinking........
[e-mail]

Answer 7

Well, I hope you do not expect this "other guy" to ever be faithful WITH YOU when he is CHEATING on someone to BE WITH YOU. You should probably take the advice of the person a few comments above me and stop being a wh0re or else you are going to end up alone.
PS. Karma is a BIT

Answer 8

The problem is this: The man you're falling for is meeting the needs that the man you are with is no longer meeting. Perhaps "just being there" is that need.

Find out what those needs are, and let your boyfriend know those needs. No one is a mind reader - especially us men.

Also, if you want to stay with your boyfriend, try to focus on the negative aspects of this other man.

Answer 9

The solution is a very simple one. If you love your current bf that much then you stay with him...sounds like to me though you don't know who you love. You should get rid of your boyfriend before you began with the other fellow cuz if you don't you will end up cheating with him and that wouldn't be fair to your current man

Answer 10

we cannot make the decision for you
maybe you should discuss with your room mate if u have the same feelings and try to understand what the feelings are and maybe you will come to a conclusion
everything happens for a reason, so keep that in mind. good luck