I want to become a surrogate mother for couples that cannot have babies of their own. (It would not be MY egg... it would be the intended parent's sperm and egg.)
My question is: Would this make me a bad parent? I have two kids of my own but I'm afraid somebody would say I'm an unfit mother for carrying another couple's child, having my children know the circumstances, and then giving the baby to the people he/she belongs to.
Would a mother lose custody of her kids over this?? Some people call it "trafficking". Advice please... Please answer honestly. Thank you!!
2006-06-23 21:00:42 · 15 answers · asked by DearAbby 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I think that being a surrogate or a gestational host mother (baby not biologically related at all) is a beautiful and unselfish thing for a woman to do. I do not believe that your children can be taken from you for doing this or it would be illegal. Now if you are not doing it within the confines of the law, you could get into trouble, but that still does not mean that you are a bad mother. You need to seek legal assistance before entering into this type of agreement with anyone. There should be a legal contract drawn up prior to your becoming pregnant. As for people who would ridicule you, they are closed minded and obviously selfish and never went through the pain of not being able to have children of their own. I think what you are apparently considering is a beautiful, caring and completely unselfish thing. You will be such a blessing to a couple who can't have a child without your assistance. Besides, you would be a gestational host. They child would not be yours biologically. Trafficking involves SELLING a child. That is not the same. Ask June Allyson (actress) and I think Joan Crawford (Mommy Dearest) as well. At that time babies were kidnapped left and right and SOLD to the highest bidder until the woman behind it all was finally caught. She is why there is so much security in hospitals now.
2006-06-23 21:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by Redneck-n-happy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
As long as you take good care of your children you will not loose them just over being a surrogate as long it is not against the law in your area. I also personally feel it is one of the most selfless things you can do for others, my sister has wanted kids for years and has gone through treatments to no avail and my husband and I both offered to do it for them and/or anything else to help . If this is in your heart,& think your children will be prepared properly then look into it then make a decision. Good Luck
2006-06-24 04:13:58 · answer #2 · answered by NotSoTweetOne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a wonderful selfless thing to do for a couple. I don't believe it makes you a bad parent at all, infact I think you set a good example for your children. You just need to sit them down and explain to them what you are doing, and why you are doing it. Let them know how much joy they have brought you, how they comeplete your life, and how you want another mommy and daddy, mommy and mommy or daddy and daddy (depending on who you're carrying a child for) to experience this. If anyone says you're a bad parent, they're ignorant. A child is a beautiful gift. Good luck.
2006-06-24 04:08:44 · answer #3 · answered by Nate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't lose your children. but i would make sure you really really want to do this because i think it would be immensely difficult to carry a child and then give it away. if you are sure you want to do it, you need to contact a lawyer so that any children are not considered your legal children on the birth certificate. this way, the parents you are carrying the child for will not have to adopt their own baby.
2006-06-24 04:07:08 · answer #4 · answered by gumby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its all up to you and other people shouldnt try to make decisions like that for you. My mom had a couples baby for them 2 years ago and i thought it was such a thoughtful thing to do. I think if you were to choose to do this it would be very considerate. but then again it is YOUR body and you will be the one who carries the baby for 9 whole months:)
2006-06-24 04:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by lexy u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant understand how someone could possibly be so ignorant and say such a thing, if anything it makes you a better human being by wanting to do something so nice for someone else who cant do such a thing for themselves.
If someone tells you that you are unfit to raise children for doing this then, you should tell them to go to hell, they obviously need to learn a little about human kindness and how to grow up.
2006-06-24 04:09:29 · answer #6 · answered by Mintjulip 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it makes u a good person....a vessel of life....u have 2 of ur own and u kno the joys of motherhood and would like to share that pleasure others. and these children that u carry are noy yours, they are for the couple that u are blessing. i dont think its trafficking unless ur sellin ur own child. or something like that.....its a good thing, stop worrying. :)
2006-06-24 04:31:09 · answer #7 · answered by keldog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, your not the mother. A mother is someone who loves and cherishes her child. Gives the best to him / her.
It won't make you a bad mother at all. Your'e helping someone in need.
2006-06-24 04:07:16 · answer #8 · answered by dremafreytal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it wont make u a bad mother i think its cool that u r giving another person a chance 2 excperiance life
2006-06-24 04:22:44 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a crime to do this in many states. Consult a lawyer.
Also, it's immoral in the extreme. Consult your local religious leader.
2006-06-24 04:06:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋