why do homosexuals have to walk around saying they are gay?

Question

startight people do not go out of there way to tell eveyone there straight. we do not have our own little bumper stickers or little secret code. what is the deal.

Answer 1

Most people assume that everyone they meet are heterosexuals. Most gay people I know don't go around telling people, but if asked about their private life they generally have two options 1) be honest or 2) lie. Most choose to be honest. In fact, when I talk about my beloved I often forget that I'm gay. He is just a part of my life, my family. When asked about my family I am always honest. If they want to know "are you married?" I say "no". If they ask "are you seeing anyone?" I say "Yes, I'm in a committed relationship." If they ask "what's her name?" I say "His name is Darren." To which they usually say "Oh, you're gay! I didn't know" and I reply "Yes, I am. Are you married?" Usually the conversation doesn't move passed the "you're gay" issue for about 10 to 15 minutes (depending on the person). Some people like to dwell on it and say things like "I'm not really against gay marriage, but...." or "I don't think homosexuality is a sin, but...." which of course wasn't even what we were talking about. We were just exchanging information about our personal lives (or so I thought). Then again, as a practicing Hindu living in a very largely majority Christian area I get the same reaction about my religion. "So are religious?" "Yes I am." "What church do you go to?" "Well, I go to a Unitarian-Universalist church on Sundays and then I also lead a satsang once a month and I try to go to the Hindu temple once a month as well." "So what religion are you then?" "I'm a Hindu." "A what?" "A Hindu, meaning I practice Hinduism. Are you religious?" To which the question is not answered and people say things like "Oh you believe in a lot of different gods, that just seems so silly." "No, I believe in one God that can be approached differently, that's all." "And what is up with worshipping idols? Like how can you believe that's a god?" "I don't. They are just symbols, like the cross or star of David that are used by Hindus." and well for about the next 10-15 minutes I find myself answering questions about Hinduism. So it sort of goes together I guess.

As for bumper stickers. I'll admit that I have a rainbow sticker on my back windshield. But that is more because I thought it was pretty and a reflection of who I am than anything else. I also have an OM sticker, but haven't placed on the car yet (the OM is a symbol in Hinduism). As for 'secret code', well I guess I'm not sure what you mean by that. I mean, gay people have their own words to describe things that are relevant to their lives so as to communicate things that straight people don't always have to communicate, but there isn't really a secret code. Atleast not with most of the other gay people I know. They speak just like everyone else I know, gay or straight. I personally think religions have more of a 'secret code' type language more than anything else. Just look at all the religious words from various religions:
ketubah, atman, jiva, gina, eucharist, kami
(those are words from Judaism, Hinduism, Jainism, Islam, Christianity, Shinto...I only happen to know them because I have also studied those religions, am that religion, and have friends from those religions).

As for most gay people I know (that I know personally), they don't go around saying "Hi, my name is ____ and I'm gay." Although, some of my straight friends do sometimes introduce me that way to their other straight friends, which is weird because they don't do it with other friends. "Hi, this is my gay friend ______." is how they introduce me, but when they are introducing their other friends it is not "Hi, this is my straight friend _____." I mean, what's up with that?? Why must I be identified as the "gay friend", why am I not just "friend" like all the other friends. I mean, if during the course of conversation it came out that I was gay, then that's one thing and that's usually how most gay people approach conversation. Well, most gay people I know. They will talk and talk and talk with people and always be honest with them. I have had conversations with people where the topics were anything but about our personal lives, who we are in love with and thus reveal our sexual orientation. I mean, don't get me wrong I have met one or two gay people in my life who were all about letting people know they were gay and liked being introduced as "Gay Steve" or whatever their name was with the word gay in front of it. I guess maybe they feel that should be known up front. Although, most of the straight people I've met never seem to be too bothered by it. When I went with some straight friends to a bar one of my straight friends introduced me to some of her friends there (and didn't introduce me as the "gay friend" for once). I was having a conversation with one her guy friends there. First we talked about pool. Then we talked about soccer (turns out he's an MLS- major league soccer, fan and so am I). Then we talked about music. We finally came around to the subject of our families. We talked about friends and family members (sisters, brothers, parents, cousins, and so on) and then he finally started talking about his exwife. Then he asked me if I had a wife and I said no. To which he asked if I was dating my friend and I said no. He made a comment about how sexy she was and I replied that I guessed she was pretty, for a girl, but that I wasn't too interested in girls. To which, surprisingly, he asked "so then do you have a boyfriend?" I'll admit that his openness did surprise me a bit, but I was able to answer "yes I do" and then he asked about him and I told him about him and actually there wasn't that weird 10 to 15 minutes of "Oh!! You're gay!?!" sort of thing. Now, if I remember correctly he and my friend went home together that night and they dated for about three or four months before he ended up getting back with his exwife. But anyways, that was just an example of how most gay people I know go about their lives. Like I said, it is sort of just part of who they are that, like straight people, we often forget that it is something 'different'.

Answer 2

A lot of ignorant answers here, but you know the saying you ask a ...... ? you get a ......answer.

Majority of people DO NOT go around advertising it. These last two years all of a sudden MTV made it trendy to be gay, so presto all of a sudden u have all these kids walking around bragging about it. This IS NOT the gay community, these are what i like to call "attention getters" or "shock value mind games" Majority happen to be girls cause they think it turns on the boys. Ignore this crap and don't blame it on the community that lives all around you and you don't even know it the majority of the time. Gay people who have against all odds have become comfortable and accepting of who they are, are just like everyone else. They are human beings with a home a family a career...so many peices all put together that makes them the person they are. That 1 aspect is just another small peice that fits in that puzzle to make it whole. As far as a bumper sticker, they have overcome great odds, hatred, outcasting and in spite of that they are proud of the person they are, A productive member of society that just happens to b gay. Straight people don't have stickers?..... How about Opie and Anthony radio show with the "WOW" stickers standing for "whip em out Wendsday" encouraging girls to flash their boobs at the guy driving the car! How about "Im all about sex drugs and rock and roll!" " Honk if u like Pus*y" They are out there you just don't think twice because it's normal to you. It is the same thing as dog lovers with all the animal rights stickers, Cops and Fireman showing off they are MEN, The military, army , Marines ect... "Kill em all let God sort it out"... It is one part of who that person is...Straight people don't say they are straight until they are in the presence of a homosexual then u hear a guy bragging about how he got some last night, almost as if he was trying to convince himself, Or the typical "straight" pick ups Bars, clubs the male to female interaction especially when alcohol is involved is sooo full of testosterone it's funny to watch. But nobody thinks twice because it is the norm for heterosexuals. Even other cultures find public displays of affection inapropriate, insulting and rude. That is typical Straight behavior. I can't think of a bigger advertisement then that. But again no big deal...Just some food for thought......no, im "straight"

Answer 3

Because people who are gay have been made to feel ashamed of who they are for so many years--so many decades. They've been told that they're evil, perverted, confused. If you're gay, young, and growing up hearing these things being said all around you...after a while, you may start to believe it. That can become a very terrible and self-destructive thing. You begin to hate yourself, wonder why God made you that way. Some lose the battle and commit suicide. Many attempt suicide. Others do not. But ultimately, those who pull through the self-hate and the hate they get from others realize that they are okay; they're not evil, perverted, or confused. They realize that they are of worth and that life is their's to live and to celebrate. Some str8 people may never understand what it's like to be gay---to know what it's like to grow up knowing that you're attracted to people of the same gender and know that if people found out...family, friends, strangers...you would be despised---your very existance would be considered worthless. That is tough to take.

So, when people who are gay announce they are gay, or have bumber stickers or whatever, that is their way of celebrating life--a life that for many may have been lost. It's their way of saying to some people in the world, "You may hate me, but I don't give a damn! I love me, I love my life, and I love who I am."

It's also a way to be up front with people. Because in many instances, when a person who is str8 meets a person that they don't know is gay, they may like that person (not romanticly, just as friends)---but if and when they discover they're gay, the friendship ends---simply on the basis that the other person is gay. Therefore, many people who are gay feel that if they come right out and say they are gay, or have bumper stickers, they're letting you know right away that if you have a problem with it, you can decide from the start whether or not you want to associate with them.

But keep in mind, not every person who is gay announces it publicly (whether it be vocally, or with signs or whatever).

Sorry for such a long answer.

Answer 4

STRAIGHT People advertise in every way possible..who are you trying to kid! I cannot go anywhere without seeing a guy and gal holding hands, kissing, cuddling, and in fact, often to the point that I want to walk up to them and say, "Get a room." Don't even try this approach..it doesn't hold water in the least. IF homophobia in supposed straights were not a serious issue, then Gays would not have to make the point that there are a LOT of us and we are a serious force that straights must adjust to. When you see a rainbow flag, when you see a Pride Parade, you see only the tip of the iceberg in gay populations. You can safely assume that there are at least 25,000,000 gay people in the US alone! That is one hellacious amount of people, a larger population than many of our states.!! And, we have serious financial clout...we are a force that must be reckoned with...that IS the deal.

Answer 5

Who is stopping you from having whatever it is you have to say about being straight? Plaster it wherever you please. Your car, your house, you pet, your shirt. In all honesty I have never heard any gay person walking around saying they are gay. I think you have misunderstood that the rights you have for being straight are not the same rights gays have. Lighten up, Straight people have been accepted. Gays are just starting to come into their own. You can't do that without a little public notifications. Now can You?

Answer 6

Why do straight people walk around asking questions like these? Straight people like you DO go out of their way to tell everyone that "Those people are GAY!!!!!!!" Would you like to know how I know this? You asked this stupid question.

Oh, and the only bumper sticker I have says "Scottish and proud of it!" (and "Scottish" isn't some code for bisexual you nasty person--my ancestors came from Scotland).

And I must have lost my decoder ring...probably mistook it for the Little Orphan Annie decoder ring I threw away...

Answer 7

I don't think they do this, but if you've seen someone do this before, it's probably because in today's society many people do not respect those who are gay or are lesbians and they want to show everyone that they are not ashamed of who they are. And sometimes people like you react to it negatively, but if straight people walked around bragging about how they were straight people would either be unaffected or think that they were being predjudeced against gays.

Answer 8

That is NOT TRUE: heterosexuals flaunt their sexuality every where and all the time: you see them holding hands, making out, on billboards, on the frickin' television, in fairy tales. Damn it, that is even worse than walking around saying you're gay. So if we have equal rights, why shouldn't we not say what we are, when breeders do it all the time? Never thought about it that way, didn't you?

Answer 9

bullsh*t you don't have codes. every startight person I know has a code. kiss your wife goodbye for the morning as she drops you off in front of work. uh, keep that sh*t behind closed doors, away from me. flaunting your sexuality in public like that, shameless. that band on your left ring finger, or the photos on your desk of a member of the opposite sex. blatant heterosexuality out in the public view.
Hey, don't get me wrong. some of my best friends are startight.
anyway, you want obvious heterosexual coding. Take and overweight old guy, plaid shorts, black socks and sandals. could he scream "Lamer" any louder?
I hope I didn't offend anyone.

Answer 10

It was a secret thing cause of the gay bashers.
I tell alot of gay people I'm straight. I don't like getting hit on by dudes!

Answer 11

By some estimats, 1 in 9 people are gay. Trust me, most of those persons are NOT walking around advertising it. They still risk getting killed for it by the intolerant people. You probably interact with several closeted gays every day and don't know it.