I have a friend who was dating my BEST friend for almost 2 years now, for some reason she decided that she wanted to end the relationship with him. Now hes really depressed and sad. To top everything off my best friend allready has a new boyfriend and doesnt seem to feel any sarrow at all toward the break up. My friend found out about her new boyfriend and is trying to drink his pain away and i dont know what to do to help him, ive tried to go see him and help him, ive told him it was stupid and to stop, and ive told him that in time his pain will go away but all he says is that he wants to die. Any advice???
Alissa Jean
2006-06-23 20:17:36 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He needs help, but only he can come to that realization. All you can do is be there and let him know help is out there and available. The most concerning thing is not the drinking, but suicidal ideation. If this is left unchecked the more likely it might happen when he is drinking. Alcohol is a depressant, which is making him even more depressed.
The solution is easy, but the path is difficult and painful. He will have to admit he has a problem. The next step is he will need to go to a hospital; first for detoxification and then for psychiatric care. Afterwords he'll need counseling, AA, and possibly a shrink. A shrink maybe necessary if the breakup triggered a mental illness he was all ready genetically predisposed to. He will have to work through his emotional pain, which right now he is avoiding by drinking. Right now he needs a friend to show him the path, but you may not be able to lead him there.
If he is really suicidal after drinking call 911. As I said this is bad.
2006-06-23 21:05:13 · answer #1 · answered by The Tank 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a difficult time for anyone who gets jilted in such a cold blooded manner.But it is no excuse for self destructive behavior....I think it wise if you are firm and friendly, but a little distant with him.At least till he sobers up and seeks a more acceptable remedy for heartache.Do not fail to name his drinking problem out loud and up front.When and whereever you encounter it.Within your discretion of course.
Remember you are not responsible for this persons drinking problem......Nor should you condone or coddle such behavior or its effects.(dont baby him when hes inebriated)
At the same time you must try to be positive about his life,and self worth.She obviously doesnt know what a mistake she made etc,but keep it real.....Above all be a friend, be honest with this person.Do not mnce words or sugar coat criticism.(dont slay the guy either)just be honest and real about it.If this begins to form a pattern, then you might try giving this person a copy of the big book published by AA ,which is an invaluable tool for helping dependant persons.It also would be good for you to read this book if you intend to maintain the friendship.It would be a very prudent step.....God bless all three of you.
2006-06-23 20:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by bergle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not as easy as some of these people think it is. i'm going through the exact thing, but i'm not drinking my pain away or feeling like i should die.
as his friend, all you can really do is talk to him whenever he needs someone to talk to. it's gonna be hard for him the next few however long it takes, but the sad truth is he has to get through this on his own. try to see if you can convince him to find another girlfriend, or introduce him to someone. it might build his confidence and get his mind of this girl for a little while.
2006-06-23 20:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by prince ali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes time is the only answer, but eventually he will feel like an idiot for caring about this girl. but really the best thing for a guy to get over another girl is to get on top of another.
Tell his male friends that he is crying about a girl they will set him straight and make fun of him until he realizes that he doing the wrong thing. the only woman a man should put that much energy on is on a actual wife, and even then is not worth the time. just make fun of him he will snap out of it.
2006-06-23 20:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by ybzcarlos1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I havent been there but just stay by his side let him know that everything is ok and that you are there for him. Tell him you know it hurts right now but she isnt worth the time he spends thinking about her. He is better then her and that no matter what missing out on life becuause of what coulda been isnt worth missing what is ganna be.
2006-06-23 20:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by Correl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, a lot to deal with...talking about dying even if he may not be entirely wanting to follow through, is definitely a red flag. u need to get a counselor/psychiatrist to speak with him about his depression. he also needs to stop drinking, which u obviously know..would talking to his parents help this?? or getting his other friends to talk to him with you and tell him he needs to stop...u need to tell an adult who u trust will take action before he does anything life threatening...good luck
2006-06-23 20:23:47 · answer #6 · answered by letcooplive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd just comfort him. The drinks are only getting him more depressed!
Keep this as friends only though; as it could be more right now.
2006-06-23 20:21:59 · answer #7 · answered by M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care, dont leave him alone still he try to forget the thing,,,
2006-06-23 20:23:16 · answer #8 · answered by paathu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the school nurse.
2006-06-23 20:20:21 · answer #9 · answered by Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to make his mind dont be an stupid. think about familly
2006-06-23 20:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by goodguy_a2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋