ok my boyfriend and i been together for 2 years now. when we first met i told him that i couldn't have kids because of my heart problem. he told me that he didnt care about kids and he just wants to merry me. now that we've been together for 2 years he's saying that he wants kids. but he knew i couldnt have kids from the begining. i want to get married but he doesnt wanna merry me now cause of kids. he's saying lets just be girlfriend and boyfriend and never get married. so what should i do? please help me.
2006-06-23 20:00:37 · 12 answers · asked by faith 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
just forget about him, he doesn't love u , if he really loves u he will not care if u can have kids or not, that s bullshit,
the one who loves is devoted and sacrifice even his own needs, desires and interests to make happy his partner,
and would be silly thing if u waste Ur life time with him keep on being just a girlfriend so he will get married with other and have kids, that s totally selfish of him and is suicide of u if u follow a selfish bad guy like that, u can find the one who loves u and care for u and make u happy don't spoil Ur life with that selfish guy.
2006-06-23 20:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by rivers_of_life 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that this is a recipe for disaster. First off, you defiantly should not get married. To do so would only lead to more problems because both of you would have gotten married under false pretenses. Second of all, both of you should talk to each other about this situation, if you need help a couples consular may be a good solution, but can only be used if both agree, otherwise you might not get any-ware. Also, has he considered adoption or you could research other methods for child birth, for instance you could donate an egg and he donate a sperm and another woman or close Friend or family member could carry the child. Either way you need to talk this through, with or without outside professional help. In either cause you cannot go to the next level of the relationship till this is worked out and if push comes to shove maybe this relationship should not go on.
2006-06-24 03:24:11 · answer #2 · answered by t-bomb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is hard because you have invested 2 years and you love him, but seriously...do you really want to continue a relationship with someone so selfish and immature? I understand that he has a right to change his mind, maybe after a couple of years he decided it was more important to him than he thought. However, if you want someone to commit to FOR LIFE, then you want to be with someone who knows what he wants in life.
Let's say he runs back into your arms tomorrow and says he thought about it and decided he can't bear to live without you, kids or no kids. At that point I would be worried that 10 years down the road, you're married and he finds that you have some other quality he can't live with. Or that he's changed his mind again, and wants kids before it's too late.
Look, he's undecided. That is so hard, and I feel for you. I will not have children in my future and it was a difficult thing to have to deal with while dating. I understand. But don't compromise your future happiness and security for what will make you happy right now.
2006-06-24 03:09:55 · answer #3 · answered by art-nerd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, I am Aditya. I Think u Break Your relation with U r Boy friend. He Doesnt love you. If He loves you He go for the marriage. Kids are not any reason to love you. I know The Kids Are very IMportant. he makes The relation stronger but when kids are not there its means relation is not stronger. The big stronger mind person understand the situations. The real lover dont do this. I think he is flearting u. When ur relation is started he says yes and at the testing time he says no. What is that . It is not The game. In future he also Hurts u If u Pressurised her for the marriage. In my Point view of View u Go for the right match and make relations who understand ur felings . he love u more than ur boyfriend. gud by . plz rply me.
2006-06-24 03:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by aadi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what he's said really hurts, but you have to think of it in his perspective. He wants to have kids someday.. give a life to someone. I think he's afraid of the fact that he loves you but he'll never get to share kids with you. Maybe you could think about adoption or something. But I still think that now after he's said that to you that you really should talk to him.. you know, get down to the facts.. If he loves you, he'll do anything for you. There are millions of people who marry and adopt because of problems. And they really love eachother and will do anything for their spouse. If he's not willing to do that, then you may have a problem. But also think of it if it was visa versa.. Maybe he's just as sad as you are that you can't have kids together. But yeah, that's what I have to say. Good luck, I wish you the best. Remember.. Really talk to him face to face. A meaningful talk should let you know.
2006-06-24 03:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by KR Sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man has problems. At best adopt. Yeah the child by blood may not be yours or his, but the joy of nurturing and being a parent is there. Building something is what being a family is about. I know to that you've invested a lot of time in this relationship as it seems, but if your man can't appreciate you and want to build and start a family with you, being just the two of you or adopting to add on, cut your losses now. It's better to look at two years of your life finding what you want in a man than spending twenty years miserable trying to always please one. And your closure in that is you were true from the start.
2006-06-24 03:12:52 · answer #6 · answered by mrpuffandstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunnie, he shouldnt want to not marry you because you are not healthy. Thats just wrong. Maybe you should bring up the point of adoption, this way you can raise kids and be married as well. I dont know your man so i dont know how he would react to that, but that could be a solution.
Good luck hunnie!
Alissa Jean
2006-06-24 03:03:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he just playing you until someone else comes along. Or maybe he is unsure with what he really wants out of life...you two need a real heart to heart conversation. Don't let him change the subject...be firm.
2006-06-24 03:11:35 · answer #8 · answered by sharir2777777 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, tell him and talk with him about what you said in the beginning. If he still wants kids, just dump him.
2006-06-24 03:08:28 · answer #9 · answered by Alex P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adoption: If he is not willing to participate in adoption; he is not worth the pain he has put through.
Forget him if he doesn't love you;
Forget him if he doesn' care;
He can't give you love which isn't there;
He'll break your heart - just wait and see...
2006-06-24 03:09:52 · answer #10 · answered by Angel Wings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋