Bonding with baby immediately after c-section?

Question

I'm having a c-section in a couple of weeks (medically necessary, sigh) - second child. I had one after a failed home birth the first time and didn't get to bond with my son at all - partly because he was having some breathing problems and partly, it seems, because of the awkwardness of being "on the table" after the baby is delivered.

I really want to bond with my baby in a meaningful way immediately after the birth this time. In my ideal world, she'd be placed naked on my chest, but this is unlikely given that during a c-section, you are tilted slightly down and it's hard to hold a baby.

I'm feeling sad about this already and trying to come up with strategies to help the experience go better. If you have had a c-section, how did you bond with your baby afterwards and how soon was it after delivery?

Also, how did you deal with the shakes caused by the drugs and grogginess? I really want to be "present" for my baby and not spend hours trying to recover before we bond.

Answer 1

I had an emergency C-Section with my now 3 month old son. He was a month early so they had to take him straight back to the NICU and I didn't get to see him until he was almost 12 hours old. Even though I didn't get to see him or hold him (we couldn't do that for 2 days) I still felt bonded with him. If he is ok then you should be able to go back there an hour or two after your c-section, or sooner, it depends on the hospital. You will bond as soon as they wheel you back to the nursery or bring him to your room, if you havent already! Don't worry about it! I was so scared my son wouldnt know I was mommy. I couldnt see him for so long, then we held him 2 days later for like 2 minutes, and couldn't hold him when we pleased for almost a week. After almost 2 weeks we finally got to bring him home and thats when I finally was completely bonded. I had bonded right away, but even more so when we got to have him in his own crib and hold him when we wanted and didn't have nurses telling us to let him sleep!
Now for the medicines, I just had the epidural and I felt sick at first, but after about 2 minutes it went away, and I felt like I couldnt breath for about 5 minutes or less, I could breathe fine but my chest wall had temporarily numbed up and I couldnt feel myself breathe so it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. The dr. said it only happened sometimes when the medicine travels up high and then settles at its normal spot, and it did go away after a 5 minutes and then I felt fine. I didn't get any other medicine. They were going to give me some morphine in my epidural, so it wouldnt hurt too bad when the numbing came off, but morphine doesnt do any thing in my body for some reason, so they didn't give me any thing, and I was fine. I didn't get the shakes or get groggy at all. I just had to recover to let myself get un numb.
You should ask the doctor if they will let you keep one hand untied so you can be handed the baby after they deliver him. My friend was able to hold her daughter right afterwards with help from her husband since she could only use the one hand. He just put his hands right by the baby incase she slipped. I also know a friend who wasnt able to keep a hand untied but the nurse held the baby up to her face and chest. As long as the baby doesnt need help with breathing or any thing else then they should be able to do one of those. It is up to the hospital and doctor though.
I hope all goes well! Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 2

Well i was put to sleep when i had a c-section and i guess i didn't see my son for i wanna think about 2-3 hours after but they had to warm him up and he did have trouble breathing after he was born. I gave birth at 36 weeks.

They did want to give me an epidural but i refused one cause i didn't want to be awake knowing they were cutting me open.

I bonded with my baby later on that night and i have since. I think that really has nothing to do with bonding.

My son know is 4 years old and he is a mommie's boy.

I didn't have any shakes after i woke up and yes you are a bit drugged but you will come around in just a bit.

Good luck and congrats

Answer 3

Okay bonding with your baby starts way before the birth and continues on for the rest of his/her life. I have had two children my 1st vaginally, my 2nd c-section I feel that I have bonded well with both, it does not matter how you have your child all that matters is that you love him/her and spend the rest of your life making sure they know it."bonding" with your child is way over rated. Put down the books and let mother nature take over, YOU will know what to do.
My husband held our son right up to my face where our noses touched about 3 minutes after he was born, I gave him a kiss and went to sleep, the drugs suck!! It took quite some time for them to ware off. Hopes this helps in some way. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 4

Had an emergency c-section with my 3rd child, he is now 11 months. Bonding consists of much more than physical closeness immediately after birth. The state of mind you present tells me already you are a good mom, many would be worried about the procedure. Bonding is an ongoing process, there will be so many days, years to solidify your bond.

Answer 5

My best friend had a c-section with her daughter (breech presentation). She was given an epidural, and was totally awake the whole time. She asked the doctors to lower the curtain so she could see her daughter come out, and then after being swaddled, her husband held their daughter close to her face so they could touch, kiss, and talk.

She also chose to room in with the baby and nurse, and that fostered the bonding process immensely. When she hurt or didn't have the strength, her husband would get or hold the baby for her. She let the baby lay next to her in the hospital bed to nurse (face to face, lying on their sides) while she caressed her and talked to her, too.

Answer 6

Funny, the feelings of a mother-to-be... always wanting and worrying so much about bonding or not being able to bond.

If you really feel the need to bond, then have your partner or doctor hold the baby next to you and rub your cheek with the baby's cheek for a minute or so... this will help you and the baby 'touch'

Answer 7

Well I too had c-section and felt the same way. But after a few days ur pain wud've reduced u'll feel lot better and you can be with your baby as normal.
Now my little girl is 10 month old and sticks to me most of the time. She even refuses to go to her dad.
So don't worry bonding happens just the moment u c him and feel so much rewarded. As said before... bonding wud've started way before :) A mother and a baby are destined to be bonded for lifetime that's how god has meant it to be. Relax.

Gud luck and congrats!

Answer 8

I felt the same way. You are the last one to see and touch the baby. My first was emergency and the second was planned due to complications. Ask your Dr to lower the curtain or place those large mirrors in such a position so you can watch - warning - it may be gross and freak you out. But talk to your Dr NOW. Let him know your concerns, maybe you can work something out.
From my experience, it was easier to "bond" w/my second. My first was rushed to the NICU, so I didn't get to hold her til she was 11 days old. With my second, I was able to hold her immediately after recovery (about 2 hrs) and she stayed in my room (I needed the nurses or my husband to place her in my bed when she needed to eat or be changed - remember, you will have a cathedar-sp?-in for 24 hours). My nurses were really great about bringing her to me ASAP to try to nurse (breastfeeding is a great way to bond). Trust me, you guys will bond, just give yourself time to heal and rest, your baby has been bonding with you for 9 months.

Answer 9

I have had two elective caesars. On both occassions I was able to hold the baby on my chest for a few minutes while I was sewn up. Then it was important to me for my husband to take the baby and if possible for him to have skin-to-skin contact. Then, once I was out of recovery, I had skin-to-skin and suckled as soon as I could. I didn't end up breast-feeding, but allowing the baby to have milk for the first couple of days helped me feel we were building a bond. After that, the time you spend with them while they are so little - bathing them, feeding them - you can't help but feel the bond growing stronger.

Answer 10

I'm majoring in child development and I studied alot about bonding between mother's and their children. Bonding is a lifelong process. Although you can not bond with your child soon after birth, this well not affect your child's attachment with you. So don't worry. You have plenty of time to build a relationship with your child.