2006-06-23 16:55:52 · 42 answers · asked by Mama P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My marriage reads like a movie, the ending is not what you expected
2006-06-23 17:01:06 · update #1
he has dun the internet thing behind my back looking for younger women , physical and verbel, and mentally abused me, why do i still love him???? I going crazy trying to figure it out, I know i should not....
2006-06-23 17:05:05 · update #2
If you wouldn't have mentioned physical/emotional abuse, I would have said, yes, work it out with him. But I don't believe in staying with anyone that physically abuses you. The scars never heal, they just keep getting deeper. You have to understand that you have been with him for 35 years. That's a huge majority of your life. You get use to having that person there, no matter what. You don't deserve to have a man in your life that physically/emotionally abuses you. You just DON'T deserve that. Are you sure he wants to get back together because he loves you or is it he has found out that other women out there WON'T put up with his abuse. Think about it.
2006-06-23 18:08:54 · answer #1 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way! If this man walked out after 35 years he is not worth your time. You gave him a lot of time and he trampled your heart. I know it's hard to let it go, but you will be better off in the long run. On the other hand, if you truely forgive him and believe he won't do it again, than give it a go. You are the only one who can decide what to do. The best advice? Follow your heart.
2006-06-23 17:00:17 · answer #2 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking him back will be risky. There is always a chance he will leave again. If you are divorced, I'd think twice before marrying him again. Insist on marriage counseling. He must have done something right for you to stay with him so long. Build on that if you decide on taking him back. Otherwise, go on with your life. There are some decent guys out there. You had what it takes to keep a marriage together for 35 years which means you have a lot to offer a new relationship. Weigh this out before you decide.
2006-06-23 17:34:49 · answer #3 · answered by alexxandra114 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on if your better off without him more than likely you will be but in some cases the man just needed time to think and it also depends on if he was unfaithful during this time if so he should probably not be taken back. It also totally depends on if you can put this behind you and move on without being too hurt because if this is always going to be in the back of your mind or in your mind then you wont be able to have a healthy relationship with him again so put him behind you as much as you can in this case i know that there are things after that many yrs that you cant
2006-06-23 17:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My honest advice is to not get back with him. Like some others have said, do not get back with him because of the fact that he will leave you again. Though you might love him, you must realize what could happen if you ever get back with him.
Everytime you get hurt, whether it being physical, mental, or verbal, a piece of you die. Though it is for what some of us look for that is called Love, if you restrain yourself and look out, you might see someone else that could comfort you better, listen to you, and be there for you. Hopefully, it might be the soulmate, which I believe in, but soulmates don't hurt you physicall, mentally, and verbally.
But I do not have much of a say in this, but just give my advice. Don't go back with him. However, this is your decision and everyone will respect whatever you have chose.
Just be careful, and listen to your surroundings.
2006-06-23 17:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by endlessly_waiting_in_the_rain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've already decided to keep him in your life, thinking that if you love him enough, he won't do it again. It's important for you to keep your perspective, and ask yourself why he wants back in. I want so badly to say no....keep him out....but it's your choice not mine. Here's the bottom line....if you truly do still love him, you want what's best for him. If you think taking him back and trying to undo the damage that he was willing to do to a 35 year marriage is the best thing for him, then you have to do what's in your heart. If you think that it would be easier to let him back in so you can have a man in your life than to work on an independant life with people who actually respect you and the institution of marriage.....then you do what you have to do.
Good Luck
2006-06-23 17:04:20 · answer #6 · answered by Ice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Goodness no!!!
How dare he!!!
I am in marriage number 3 and I never took back my old husbands...
They lied and cheated and stole my money and possessions...
Hell no I would never take them back...
You need better for your self...
I know your broken heart hurts now, but believe me, it will mend and you will find a new lover...
I promise you this is not the end of the world, it just seems like it...
Later on down the road when you don't hurt any more, you will be able to see what I mean now...
Take care of you first...
Do for you and no one else...
Pamper your own self now...
Treat yourself to the good things and you be selfish to you...
2006-06-23 17:01:23 · answer #7 · answered by aspenkdp2003 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man, 35 years is a lot of your life you gave him. if he seems sincere and if he'll agree to some counseling or sitting down with you and working out some of the issues behind his leaving, i think you might both be happier to try it one more time....
and then if he leaves a second time, you'll never feel bad for kicking his butt to the curb. you'll have given him a chance and the second time, no more mrs. niceguy!
good luck, it had to have hurt losing someone u gave 35 years to. i'm really sorry and hope you come to a much better place, whether it's with OR without him!
2006-06-23 17:00:06 · answer #8 · answered by Hot Lips 4077 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends why he left and why he's coming back now. And also if you can ever forgive him for hurting you. Not much point getting back together if you're going to spend your life worrying he'll do it again. Maybe the break made him realise he can't be without you, and some people need that.
2006-06-23 16:59:24 · answer #9 · answered by smsgreaves 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in this case it will all depend on you. You need to decide whether or not you can trust him or if you can live with what he has done. Only you have the power to le him back into your life. Don't let anybody here try to sway you either way. You are the one who is going to have to live with the decision when all is done and over with. So, in this case it is up to you to decide whether or not you love him and want him back if not tell him to hit the road Jake.
2006-06-23 17:02:59 · answer #10 · answered by Miss Mama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋