how do you tell your slutty friend that you no longer think that you should hang out without being to harsh?

Answer 1

I guess the best way to do it is to tell her that people are talking about her behavior. You should tell her that you are concerned about the way she is behaving and you wish she'd stop. Go on to tell her that you're sure she understands how this is making you look by being her friend, you know guilt by association. Hopefully she will stop being slutty and then you can continue being her friend.

Answer 2

You don't necessarily have to tell her if you don't feel it is a good idea - either because you are uncomfortable with confrontation or because you think you will hurt her feelings or cause her to say "nasty" things about you.

One way to do this is to be busy whenever she calls and to not hang out in places where she is likely to be. This can be more difficult at school or work, but can still be done. At school, you might say you have a meeting with a teacher, principal, or vice-principal (or someone else); at work you could blame a really important task you have to do. At home, screen telephone calls for a couple of weeks if you don't have an answering machine or service - you can always not answer the phone and then dial *69 after it stops ringing to see which number just called you - this way you will not miss important calls, but can choose not to answer any from her.

If you have friends in common, you may have to be busy whenever she is included in an event or outing with them (you have to wonder why any friends you have in common are not helping her by pointing out how her behaviour is going to hurt her). You don't have to say "Is so-and-so coming?", try saying "who is coming" instead, so as not to let others know you have an issue with her. If she is on the list, tell them you'll have to get back to them after you check out what's up. You don't want to start gossip - gossip is a truly terrible thing, and you never know when you might be a victim.

Eventually, she will either get the message and not come to you or she will ask you what is wrong. At that point, you can choose to either tell her the truth, or simply say you are really busy. She'll get the message.

Having said that, I would encourage you to choose the honest route, unless you fear for your safety, of course. Tell her you need to talk to her. Make it a private place that is normal for both of you to be in - a Mall, your house - you know what I mean. It doesn't have to be "spy" private-that sets off alarm bells which cause stress. You can tell her that you feel afraid for her because of her behaviour, and that you really care about her.(you must, otherwise you wouldn't care about her feelings, right?). You can tell her that you find what she is doing is causing you worry and discomfort, and that you have a hard time dealing with it.

Maybe she is being "slutty" because she has low self-esteem and feels this is the only way to get attention. She may need someone just like you to tell her she is important, and that a friend can't sit by and watch her treat herself this way.

Let her know you will be there if she wants to talk, but not there to hang out with if she continues this way.

Good luck - it is a tough position to be in and I give you credit for asking how to deal with it, rather than just ignoring or hurting her.

Answer 3

Well if you call her slutty, you can't really mean you don't want to hurt her.
Just tell her straight up, seeing as how you don't want to be around her any more.
The truth hurts like heck and it's known to keep soem away, and bring others closer.

Answer 4

I suggest that u stay away from her . she's not gonna change her attitude just because u told her to.

show ur friends and i'll tell who u are - is a famous proverb. dont let people mistake u . STAY AWAY.

Answer 5

Tell her that you have a different life style and different values than hers. If she asks for an explanation, just tell her that you have more self respect than she does.

Answer 6

If people see U hangin together they'll think you're just like her,just ask her to go to church with U and she probably will drop U then.

Answer 7

Why do you care if she's slutty? How about "I'm uptight about sex and the fact that you're not makes me insecure."

Answer 8

i was in a similar situation, and my friend and i jsut kinda drifted apart because we obviously had very different values. if you're not ment to be friends, then you wont be. i just told her to her face.

Answer 9

tell her to not hang out with u no more

Answer 10

Fix your own problems before attempting to fix the problems of other folk.