My husband cheated (just kissing) on me the week after our honeymoon with a co-worker who was at my wedding. It lasted a 1 1/2 weeks. He continued to talk to her even after I found out (only a couple of times). She told me about those times - he denies it. Now, I am at a new job where a co-worker has been flirting with me. He and I kissed - twice. I really like him. Before he and I kissed, I told my husband that I had feelings for someone else - he still doesn't know that we kissed. He said that if anything like that did happen that he wouldn't want to know about it. But now I feel like I coudn't care less about what my husband does or who he does it to. I just don't care. But I love him. And now he is making a real effort to make things work. Am I subconsciously getting back at my husband for what he did? I feel stuck in my marriage. Once I realized that I had other options, I was ready to leave my husband. It was just nice to know that I had options too, not just him.
2006-06-23 16:34:18 · 11 answers · asked by likmytulips 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bear with me on this; shame on you all! First of all, it sounds like revenge to me. Next, you shouldn't base your decision of whether or not to divorce by if another man wants you.
You and your husband need to stop any kind of infidelities (kissing, touching, who cares what all). The both of you need to give the marriage a new chance, and it'll probably take some time. Work on saving the marriage if the both of you can live with each others past and if you both love each other and want it to work.
2006-06-23 16:54:00 · answer #1 · answered by LOVE2LD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if your marriage is necessarily a dead end. While there are problems, there are some good points too and you are only in your early 20s. I think there is physiological research showing that the human brain does not fully develop/mature until the mid-twenties so I think you should give things a bit more time. As for the threesome request, I think you should be absolutely firm on this and say no. A marriage is between two people not three. Essentially a request for a threesome is a request for him to sleep with other people while keeping you as back-up. And do you seriously think it will stop at one? He will want to do it with someone else, then someone else, etc. If he persists with the threesome request despite your refusal to participate, then I think the outlook for your marriage is gloomy.
2016-03-27 02:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a lack of communication going here. First step I would take is talk it over, get everything out in the open. If not, the secrets will be a wedge driving the two of you apart. Be honest, yet respectful. If he's difficult or something, then try getting the two of you to marriage counseling. It's very beneficial and not judgemental at all. Last resort is to leave him because as much as you love him, it's the partnership of a marriage with respect and honesty that keeps marriages together. Neither of you seem to be showing that.
2006-06-23 16:42:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetie, regardless of what your husband did during the week of the honeymoon, it does not justify you cheating on him. It is evident that the two of you don't take your wedding vows seriously. I would suggest that while your marriage is still new, get counseling. The two of you are running at full speed on the road of destruction. The surprising fact is that what you two are looking for in others is what you already have at home. Pull your marriage together as much as you can. Re-evaluate your relationship. Seek counseling from either your minister, parents, proffesional counselor, etc.
2006-06-23 16:57:54 · answer #4 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love him yet you do not care what he does or doesn't do. I think you need to start by reading your own question and then be honest with yourself. Neither you or your husband were ready for this marriage. He cheated almost instantly and you already want to leave. Do both of you a favor and find an attorney.
2006-06-23 16:45:56 · answer #5 · answered by bcarefulwatchaask4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a normal reaction everyone wants to know they still got it going on. But take it like a grain of salt it is what it is. No need to tell your husband he probably couldn't handle this, and your co-worker he just like you for your body (LOL) Give your husband a chance to work things out and maybe remind him how sexy you are.
2006-06-23 16:44:43 · answer #6 · answered by askmeguru21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh- yeah, i know about the option thing. your marriage is not a true dead end. it's just that neither of you have taken your VOW seriously and you both want the freedom to shop.
his isn't going to be good, but maybe in about 7 years you'll figure it out.
or just get right with God now.
2006-06-23 16:42:27 · answer #7 · answered by get_unlost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are the two of you married????????? Yall are playing games not only with each others emotions, but with your marriage. That is NOT what marriage is all about. Sounds like the two of you don't love or respect each other, so why be married!
2006-06-23 19:12:39 · answer #8 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds normal. You just have to try to figure out if you want to be married to him or not and act accordingly.
2006-06-23 16:47:42 · answer #9 · answered by sweetie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the both of you wasnt ready for marriage .
2006-06-23 19:12:48 · answer #10 · answered by keli2829 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋