My dad hates my b/f, we were engaged but broke it off and broke up about a month ago, b/c he couldnt take all the stress anymore..But noe he wants to try to work thru our problems and see if we can make it work..But lately he's been putting me on the backburner again to his friends, and i dont kno how much more I can take...Should I keep tryin to work this out? We love eachother alot and r prob plannin on gettin engaed again, but how can we get my dad and his mom to forget about all their differences and let us b happy
2006-06-23 16:03:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You can't get your dad and his mom to forget their differences. Some things are out of your control, including how other people act. OK, that's not totally true, but you've probably done what you can do already by this time.
If your relationship worth it even if you have to accept how your dad reacts and everything else?
Maybe you need to put this on the backburner too - not make any decisions yet, but be a little lighter about it and let your boyfriend come to you more. You might find that changes the dynamics a little and shifts the power you have in your relationship and in your life as a whole. If the relationship has it's own strength it can withstand some time of uncertainty (just don't do anything stupid - be patient and trust that if it is meant to happen, it will). Do some things that are fun for you and help you remember your own strengths and how you care for yourself.
Are there other problems between you and your boyfriend that aren't about your parents? Sometimes factors like parents can be a big distraction that lets you avoid being fully honest with each other.
2006-06-23 16:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by conductorchris 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look at the end of the day, u are the one who is goin 2 live ur life, not ur dad, not his mom, not even ur boyfriend. U feel what u feel, maybe something i'll never feel. So everything right now revolves round you. What do you want ? Be with him 4 da rest of ur life ? Can u handle da stress ? Do u even see a future for da both of you ? What do u see ? Why did truly end ? Isnt it supposed to be 4ever ? There are so many things dat u have 2 figure out 1st. Now i cant give u full advice cuz i dn da whole situation like how old u and he is and other stuff but da best solution...
Stay as u are (broken off) and think of what happened. Take ur time mostly, do not rush into things bcuz of emotions. Talk 2 each other, see what went wrong... y'all wud have 2 discuss a lot, focus on the problems and see if u can fix it. COMPROMISE !!! all of the problems shud b discussed b4 even goin back 2gether officially. Talk about everything, him puttin u on da backburner, how u feel about it. If this is already done, congrats.
Now u wud have 2 talk 2 ur dad and he wud have 2 speak 2 his mom...(possibly all of you in the same room 4 this 2 have effect) and both of you tell them how u 2 feel like responsible adults. B sure 2 make em understand dat it was either they talked 2 u and they know what's goin on or u 2 keep it on the low and they never know nothing (dat cant fail). Possibly in a calm voice, never scream... if they scream let em but u and him have 2 stay polite at all times NO MATTER WHAT. If they dont like each other (the parents) that is their problem and u dont have 2 deal with it. U cant make them 4get about their differences but u can make them respect ur choices. U respect their opinions and they shall respect you. It might not work at 1st completely, they are humans after all... but good luck to you.
Wow this was long sorry.
2006-06-23 23:25:49 · answer #2 · answered by melibishou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does your dad not like him? How old are you guys? How long have you been together? What reasons has your dad given for not accepting him?
Why does his mom not like you? What has happened to make her upset with you?
Good parents want the best life for their children. The last thing a good parent would want is to see thier child unhappy, which cuts both ways. Both of your parents bad mouthing you 2 is obviously not making anyone happy, which is completely odd. Thinking objectively, is there a good reason for them to do that? Put yourself in their shoes. What is their motivation? What is your dads primary beef with your boyfriend?
Everyone should hang out with their friends. Spouses, fiances, bf's/gf's don't need to be holding each others hands at all times. Is he putting you off for weeks at a time to be with his friends? Did he make plans that he shouldn't break? Do you hang out with your friends? I have no grasp of the situation. However, I have heard girls complain about a guy hanging out with his friends, but the truth is that he is with her 5 out of 6 nights that he is free. What is the situation?
What kind of "problems" do you have to work through? Is it just the family situation? or is there more?
Obviously, no one should go in to marriage with problems. It will only get worse. Also, why would someone feel the need to get married if everything is not on the up and up? I don't really get it?
Think about things. Put things in to perspective, and get back with us. Advice is always better with more information.
2006-06-23 23:33:04 · answer #3 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he's putting you off to his friends, it's obviously not worth it to him that much anymore. If he's serious about getting engaged again and going through what you guys had to with your parents, then try and work it out.
2006-06-23 23:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's putting you on the back burner to be with his friends, he must not love you as much as you think. I somewhat agree with the other answer, if you really love each other, don't let parents break you up. However, from what you describe, it seems one of you has more commitment than the other. Talk to him, then talk to parents together.
2006-06-23 23:09:58 · answer #5 · answered by bernie1701 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. If you think it's bad before you are married, just wait until you are married. Feelings just get harder and the tension worse.
2006-06-23 23:08:05 · answer #6 · answered by Darby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT LET ANYONE BREAK YOU UP!! If you decide not to be with him...do it for you!
2006-06-23 23:06:02 · answer #7 · answered by embigguns 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont walk, run.
2006-06-23 23:11:44 · answer #8 · answered by afterflakes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋