To all the rednecks out there... take my survey ?

Question

Redneck Survey

Last name: ________________
First name: Check appropriate box:

[ ] Billy-Bob [ ] Bobby-Sue
[ ] Billy-Joe [ ] Bobby-Jo
[ ] Billy-Ray [ ] Bobby-Ann
[ ] Billy-Sue [ ] Bobby-Lee
[ ] Billy-Mae [ ] Bobby-Ellen
[ ] Billy-Jack [ ] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female [ ] Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[ ] Farmer [ ] Mechanic
[ ] Hair Dresser [ ] Waitress
[ ] Un-employed [ ] Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________
Lover's Name: __________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet

Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck ____ kitchen
____ bedroom ____ bathroom
____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable

How many teeth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don't know

Answer 1

Last name: ____Hatfield____
First name: Check appropriate box:

[ ] Billy-Bob [ ] Bobby-Sue
[x] Billy-Joe [ ] Bobby-Jo
[ ] Billy-Ray [ ] Bobby-Ann
[ ] Billy-Sue [ ] Bobby-Lee
[ ] Billy-Mae [ ] Bobby-Ellen
[ ] Billy-Jack [ ] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: __43__ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: [x] Male [ ] Female [ ] Not sure
Shoe Size: _With or without my fake toes?__ Left _11_ Right
Occupation:
[ ] Farmer [ ] Mechanic
[ ] Hair Dresser [ ] Waitress
[x] Un-employed [ ] Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name: _____Aunt Bobby Ellen____________
2nd Spouse's Name: ______Bobby Jo___________
3rd Spouse's Name: ______Billy Mae_____________
Lover's Name: _Jesus. They told me that in church._
2nd Lover's Name: __We raise sheep.___________

Relationship with spouse: Which one?
[x] Sister [x] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [x] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet

Number of children living in household: _Foster home._
Number of children living in shed: _Shed fell down last week, didn't find my gun yet_
Number of children that are yours: _Had a .44 Magnum accident when I was 6, so I only have one child._

Mother's Name: _______Mumma_________
Father's Name: _______Pappy_________(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 (3) 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) Live with the neighbors. My trailer's been condemned.

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
_15_ Total number of vehicles you own
_2_ Number of vehicles that still crank
_7_ Number of vehicles in front yard
_8_ Number of vehicles in back yard
_14_ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
_5_ truck _4_ kitchen
_4_ bedroom _5_ bathroom
_1_ shed

Model and year of your pickup: ____Ford_____ 1948

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [x] No; If no, please explain: Pawned it.

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun
[x] All of the above, and Penthouse, but I only read it fer the pictures. And I'm a preferred member of the Girls Gone Wild video of the month club.

_5_ Number of times you've seen a UFO (but I seen the same one twice. they said to say hi to yous)
_17_ Number of times you've seen Elvis (Every time I go to Vegas. )
_1_ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO (now that was a show!)

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[x] Not Applicable (once yous get used to the flies, it ain't so bad)

How many teeth? _1_
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A
I swallered it, and it ain't come out yet. That counts, right?

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[x] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[x] 1 mile The neighbor's got a concrete slab where his trailer used to be. Does that count?
[_] 2 miles
[_] don't know

I just run out of whiskey. Can I borrow $100 just till I get my Social Security check?

Answer 2

Last name: hmmm.....don't know
First name: Check appropriate box:

[ ] Billy-Bob [ ] Bobby-Sue
[ ] Billy-Joe [ ] Bobby-Jo
[ ] Billy-Ray [x] Bobby-Ann
[ ] Billy-Sue [ ] Bobby-Lee
[ ] Billy-Mae [ ] Bobby-Ellen
[ ] Billy-Jack [ ] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: somewhere between 15-45 (if unsure, guess)
Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female [x] Not sure
Shoe Size: 7 Left 7 Right
Occupation:
[ ] Farmer [ ] Mechanic
[x] Hair Dresser [ ] Waitress
[ ] Un-employed [ ] Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name: Tony
2nd Spouse's Name: Liam
3rd Spouse's Name: Robbie
Lover's Name: Linda
2nd Lover's Name: Helga

Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [x] Aunt
[_] Brother [x] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[x] Cousin [x] Pet

Number of children living in household: 17
Number of children living in shed: 48
Number of children that are yours: don't know

Mother's Name: Sissy
Father's Name: Jacky (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 (2) 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [x] own or [_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
8 Total number of vehicles you own
5 Number of vehicles that still crank
6 Number of vehicles in front yard
2 Number of vehicles in back yard
0 Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
4 truck 2 kitchen
25 bedroom 13 bathroom
6 shed

Model and year of your pickup: don't know 1942

Do you have a gun rack?
[x] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [x] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun

37 Number of times you've seen a UFO
72 Number of times you've seen Elvis
14 Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[x] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable

How many teeth? 13
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [x] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[x] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[x] don't know

Answer 3

Last name: ____Skeeter____________
First name: Check appropriate box:

[ ] Billy-Bob [ ] Bobby-Sue
[ ] Billy-Joe [ ] Bobby-Jo
[x ] Billy-Ray [ ] Bobby-Ann
[ ] Billy-Sue [ ] Bobby-Lee
[ ] Billy-Mae [ ] Bobby-Ellen
[ ] Billy-Jack [ ] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: _12 less than momma___ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: [ x] Male [ ] Female [ ] Not sure
Shoe Size: _what's a shoe?___ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[ x] Farmer [ ] Mechanic
[ ] Hair Dresser [ ] Waitress
[ ] Un-employed [ ] Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name: ___woman_______________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _sis_________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________
Lover's Name: ___rover_______________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_x] Cousin [_] Pet

Number of children living in household: 3___
Number of children living in shed: __1_
Number of children that are yours: 43___

Mother's Name: ___Hag(daddy said so)____________________
Father's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 (2) 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [x_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
_9__ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
_9__ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
_9__ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck ____ kitchen
____ bedroom __2__ bathroom
____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: ___fo d__________ 1942_

Do you have a gun rack?
[x_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_x] Rifle and Shotgun

_8 Number of times you've seen a UFO
__2_ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[x_] Not Applicable

How many teeth? _?__
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_x] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[x] don't know

Answer 4

Dang, guess the porn industry is slow...this pornstar has entirely too much time on her hands. Save the redneck humor for the Blue Collar comedians, they are much funnier than you think you are.

Answer 5

This is hilarious...unfortunately I know quite a few people that would qualify to take this test. I guess that's what I get for living out in the country!!!

Answer 6

LOL ...... i think of the race may be exciting and that i'm specific quite a few the snack nutrition like fried brats and onion rings are stable ....... yet, i think of in case you communicate to your hubby, he might conform to pass someplace first and have a stunning dinner with you. you're nicely worth it. = ) P.S. happy Anniversary !

Answer 7

well i live in redneck country...but the word REDNECK does not mean stupid or disgusting.....i am a country girl and love my dirt roads, (which i dont live on), though wish i did, and i am married and we have 2 little girls, and a lot of people would love to live where i do..........I will take country over city always

Answer 8

And you mrs pornstar here is a quiz for you
How many stds have you had?
How many times did you worry you had one?
Are you self conscious on being too loose?

Answer 9

That was funny. I'm not offended even though some of the questions could pertain to me!

Answer 10

Your Funnnnny!
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