My parents are forcing me to marry some guy they chose who sent marriage proposal for me. Im in love with family friends son who i know from 5yrs(3yrs in love).He loves me its fact.I havent gone to him asking him to marry me since i think marriage should be based on love & should happen when 2people want it.If it doesnt workout with him even then i wouldnt say yes to my parents.Im leaving home got a job in another country live my own apartment.Im 23,please tell me what u think as im doing all this alone!
2006-06-23 15:40:37 · 15 answers · asked by dramy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If ur parents are forcing u to marry a friend of the guy ur in love with then stand ur ground put ur foot down & say NO ur right in saying that even if u two dont get married(guy u love & u) then u shouldnt get married thats not right dont worry ur right!ur correct when u say one should marry for love.forget parents i dont know what can i call them & since they dont know ur in love with guy whose friend sent u marriage proposal forget it.i wish u & guy ur in love with get together.
2006-06-26 13:36:53 · answer #1 · answered by docfreudianslip 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's what you feel is right. By all means. there are some traditions thorughout certain families and faiths, that are not always agreeable to everyone. I can understand the reasoning behind a "chosen marriage", but that does not mean I agree with it. I've read articles where arranged marriages worked because both people were commited to making the marriage work and in time, they did become fond of each other and in their own way love each other. but if you're against it. Don't do it. I think you should stand on you own two feet and tell your parents before you just leave. I'd think after 23 years, they'd at least desreve to be told. Even if it's not what they want to hear.
2006-06-23 15:48:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a free country.
I'm Catholic.
I spoke with my Muslim friends at college about arranged marriages.
My friend Mustafa made the argument to his Muslim friend (whose parents also were arranged to be married long ago) that "Come on man! Could you picture your parents being with ANYONE ELSE other than eachother?"
Of course the friend said "No"
But I had to keep my nose out of their business. I thought to myself though: "Who would say 'Uh yeah Mustafa, I could picture my Mom with some other man.'???"
Mustafa made the point that "The love grows, and it gets there."
I think this is b.s., because EVERY RELATIONSHIP has the potential to grow love. That's not a point for marriage. Some people ACCEPT that there's no way around a marriage, so they push to love someone......and would never admit they're unhappy. This sucks for women.....even if they do grow to love a man. They've been told things, pulled in different directions, and usually old customs make them feel brainwashed.
And confused.
I feel sorry that you're being forced to do this.
I wish you didn't |have to" leave this beautiful country.
You're an adult and if you're a U.S. citizen, you have the right to stay here and tell him to wait. That's just the USA law helping and having your back. Families that do this to daughters are being cruel. I'm sorry. It's 2006, where are all the womens' rights people when it comes to arranged marriages? They're too scared to "offend" other cultures, because "progressive" ideology says not to question cultural beliefs. Grrrrr.
I'll pray for you....if you want my email address, ask for it. I'm only 23, but I'm wise beyond my years to all my friends. I give common sense advice, and I'm too compassionate as some say (which I believe is impossible....Jesus, Mother Teresa and others prove that to be a baseless argument), but I try to help people through crisis after crisis.
Good luck,
Contact me if you feel alone and I'll do what I can with the advice.
Justin
2006-06-23 15:57:35 · answer #3 · answered by Justin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,try to talk to your parents that you don't like that guy and you have got a boyfriend.Let them understand marriage is base on two people matter and you don't love that guy.I think your parents can understand that. What you say are right,marriage is not playing games and it is two people matter,you are so young and you no need too eager to go into a marriage state.Are you really understand your boyfriend and feel that he is the one you willing to spend the whole life with.Think this carefully,if not you will regret future.Do think things carefully before you take action especially marry with someone,girls are often the victims in divorce.Your future are in your hand,nobody can ruin it except you want to do that.You life should be control by yourself.GOOD LUCK!
2006-06-23 16:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you should marry the one you love. Your parents don't know you as well as you do. And really, it should be what YOU want. I don't know what country you're from though, so maybe there isn't anything you can do about this guy your parents want you to marry. If you're able to make your own decision, marry the guy you love! If they're willing to disown you or whatever over it, then let it be. At least you will be able to start your own family with this one you love!
2006-06-23 15:46:24 · answer #5 · answered by goshimwaycool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your life. Seriously if you don't want to marry this guy that your parents want you to marry, don't! It's your heart, your marriage, your future! Don't let your parents decide for you! You are old enough to decide for yourself who you will marry and spend the rest of your life with. So tell them that you want to chose who you love and will marry. Don't let them decide.
2006-06-23 15:47:13 · answer #6 · answered by marimbalover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say 'forcing', I assume you don't live in the U.S....so what are your options...or do you have any? We can't advise you or help in any way if this is the law and custom of your country, no matter how unfair it is. But if it depends on you agreeing with the arrangement, then you don't need our advice...you need courage...to say no. I wish you luck.
2006-06-23 15:52:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your parents shouldnt boss you around still if your 23. id tell them that maybe their parents forced them to get married but times have changed. now people marry who they want. tell them you dont want to be in an unhappy marriage and you want to marry they guy you love so you can be happy. i dont think any parent will be able to be mad at you for wanting to be happy.
2006-06-23 15:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by crank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are 23 and your parents are forcing you? Speak the heck up. thereis no way in America one can be forced to marry anyone.Its your life youre talking about here,take control of it.
2006-06-23 15:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by tajura001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them who you are inlove with, have you told them about the family friend?i guess no maybe that's the reason for the match. just follow your heart,make a choice that will last and don't end up with regrets..... wish you all the best...
2006-06-23 15:47:15 · answer #10 · answered by firewall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋