My husband abandoned me when I was very pregnant to try to be with his ex-wife and family. I took him back for 2 reasons. He expressed true regret. 1) I love him and 2)our child was about to be born. Otherwise I would not have given him a chance.
Fast forward. It's been a hard road. When someone you trust your life with betrays your trust and makes you feel like you must be a piece of ******* it's hard to get over it. But I've given it 200%. Here's my question.
I look at his cell phone to see who he calls and has called. I work! He stays home w/baby. I pay the bills. I do everything, then come home and do plenty more, especially w/the baby. Okay, so I asked him to hand me the phone today. He said just a minute, then he erased all the history! It totally make me feel like he's up to something and talked to someone he shouldn't. Keep in mind that I see a million #s that I do not know whose they are and I never even ask him so why did he do that?
Is he being unfaithful again?
2006-06-23 14:06:49 · 21 answers · asked by Just Me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He said he was sick of me looking at his history! Please give me your opinion. I know I don't really trust him, but I am working on it. Am I totally wrong given he broke my heart and devistated me. I wanted to die when he left me!
2006-06-23 14:07:42 · update #1
I am sure he is sick of you holding him suspect, but its not unfair to check.
If your never going to trust him though,, it may be best to seek counseling for help.
Also, insist that he pull his fair share at home since your working and supporting you. It's not your duty to do all this to try and keep him there and that is how this reads, is like your so afraid he will leave that your killing yourself to make his life easy.
Don't be that needy,, get counseling and learn to be ok no matter what happens with him.
2006-06-23 14:12:21 · answer #1 · answered by yeller 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's hiding something. There would be no reason to erase the history before you used the phone unless he has something to hide. There is nothing wrong with periodically erasing the history - but to do it right before you used the phone is a bit suspicious.
You should talk to him and see what he says. Get into marriage counseling - it will help you a ton. You and your marriage have been through a lot and you and him both have things to work though, counseling can help with that.
2006-06-23 21:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go one line and check the phone history from there. if you are the plan administrator you can call the phone company and have them fax youa copy of the numbers. You can hire a PI. THat will give you some closure. It difinatly sounds like he is hiding something from you and I am betting in isn't a surprise B-day party. He's got a lot of time on his hands to just blow. But then you are not excatly breading trust when you check his history all the time.
2006-06-25 03:39:37 · answer #3 · answered by thejett.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 24 yrs old. last spring I was 2 months pregnant and the father of my child(who is a Doctor of internal medicine) decided he wasn't willing to be a good man for me or my son. So, I decided that I was capable, smart, strong and powerful enough to raise my child on my own...so I left the asshole. Knowing the hard times ahead of me and knowing I was giving up financial security-I walked the path alone because to me the mental health of my life and my child's was more important than security and a better alternative to living a life with a man who would cheat and lie. I spent my entire prgnancy alone and thankful for it. My best friend propsed to me 3 months after my son was born and now we are happy and married. what I am trying to say is take care of you and your child first and all good things will fall into place. don't be stupid-if a man cheated he NEVER loved you or his child. If you can't leave this man for your sake-leave him for your child's sake because the only thing your husband is going to do is teach your child an unstable, emotionally damaged, mentally unable to grow up to be a mature healthy adult. That's why I left and it was the best decision of my life. you can do it. you have the strength-your child deserves a life of love and honesty-none of which he is getting now. P.S. yes he is cheating in some way-a faithful husband has no problem with history checks.
2006-06-23 22:06:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has something to hide. If he didn't, he would have handed over the phone without a problem. Now we know why his first wife divorced him. He's a loser. You should be the one home with the baby. You're missing out in that crucial part of her development. No real man would make you be the sole supporter of the family.
2006-06-23 21:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has nothing to hide then he wouldnt have a problem with you looking into his phone call history. How can he expect you to trust him so easily after what he done to you. The next time you see a bunch of numbers you dont recognize write them down and call them and find out for yourself who is calling your husband and who he is calling. If you find out he is cheating again then kick his behind to the curb honey. You are already doing everything on your own so you can make it without him. Dont let a man bring you down and dont put up with this sort of treatment, you deserve better. God bless you and the little one and good luck
2006-06-23 21:11:37 · answer #6 · answered by sapphireblaze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Kent, he's hiding something. He must not want to work, which means he's not a good provider. There are plenty of single men out there......who'll be true to you. Why put up with the hurt? Confront him, see if he gives answers to your satisfaction. If he don't then you know what you have to do. The main priority is your child, and you have to protect and provide for that child. Think long and hard about what you want to do, plan things out if you decide to bolt. I wish you the best of luck with your decision.
2006-06-23 21:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important person in this is your child, not you and not your husband. Either you trust him or you don't, I think you know the answer to this. If you keep up this life with him the way you are now, think about what message you are sending out to your child. You and your child deserve better.
2006-06-23 22:11:47 · answer #8 · answered by goldengirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look at the phone bill, it should tell you who he's calling. sounds like a creep but I never recommend divorce. It just isn't a good solution. He needs to get a job and you need to be with your child. Even if it means less money. find a pro to help on this one and good luck
2006-06-23 21:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by akpilotguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband violated your trust..And it's not something that will improve overnight..
What does your gut tells you? If you are paying all the bills, etc. what do you need him for? I know you say you love him, but is it really worth all the torment he's putting you through?
Try counseling..See if he's willing?
2006-06-23 21:18:00 · answer #10 · answered by WhatEVER27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋