ok, my guy is moving to Kansas to go to school for 4 years, and he really wants me to come with him. he picked out a house to rent with me in mind, even is looking for jobs for me while he is out there scoping the school. Here is the issue: if I move, I may be forced to take a job that has no real bearing on my degree and no interest for me. If I stay, I will keep a job that I love, and be able to advance in my career. (just so you know, I am not 18, more like 28, he is 30, we've been dating for a year and a half, and this is his dream come true)
What would you do? Sacrifice career for love, or love for career?
2006-06-23 13:44:39 · 8 answers · asked by Tyrtyl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
we have talked about marriage...he has even proposed. He is also on all kinds of financial aid to go to school, and if he marries me, then he loses a ton of it (I helped him work out all the paperwork, so he is not making excuses)
2006-06-23 13:54:03 · update #1
Screw all these people love has nothing to do with marriage. (especially if theres good reason like that for you not to marry)
You have to ask yourself what kind of a life do you want. Would you give up your career later on down the road for things like children? Love can bring things into your life that a job will never be able to do.. In the end career equals money and money comes and goes.
2006-06-23 13:59:49 · answer #1 · answered by ashez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you need to ask this question suggests that you're on the fence; you literally feel equally strongly about going and about staying.
So here's what I suggest: stay. Tell him to get settled in and concentrate on school for a little while, and after a few months you can start talking about long-term plans.
See, there's a chance he'll get to school and realize he'd rather concentrate on his studies than maintain a relationship. There's also a chance he'll meet someone in class and fall in love. If either of those things are going to happen, they'll likely happen in the first couple of months, when he's getting established in his new situation -- and you'll be much better off if you haven't completely uprooted yourself.
Those couple of months will also give you a chance to move to one side of the fence or the other; what if you realize that with him gone, you're able to concentrate more on your career and get more out of it? Conversely, what if your career seems pointless and empty without him around? A few months alone (but hang out with friends and whatnot, so you're not *lonely*) will give you a new perspective that will make the better choice obvious.
2006-06-23 21:00:06 · answer #2 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you start out sacrificing for him, he's going to always expect this from you. Then look at leaving a job you love, which is rare during these times, and would be a mistake. Are you engaged to him? If not why would you be willing to give up so much in such a short relationship without commitment? A long distant relationship won't work either, but it's all about what you want in your life. You are young enough still to make mistakes, but that one mistake could eat up most of your life time. Do what makes you happy, no one can really answer this for you.
2006-06-23 20:52:47 · answer #3 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't married. Unless he is proposing to marry you and you are both serious enough to make a real commitment, why would you leave your other serious commitment (your career)? Don't give up on a sure thing for a maybe.
2006-06-23 20:51:47 · answer #4 · answered by theinfalliblenena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt give up a career that I love. He should understand moving for someone is asking so much unless you have both decided to make decisions together. maybe you could visit and see what happens?
2006-06-23 20:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by ambisinister 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not unless I was married would I give up my life for my man.
I let my boyfriend go to Chicago and told him I would NOT move there. Within six months, he wanted to come home. We've now been married 23 + years.
2006-06-23 20:48:07 · answer #6 · answered by pamspraises 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
and this is a dream come true.... the guy or the job?
can't do both.... not married .... so he could change his mind about you any time.... hey... get married and jump in with both feet.... hmmmmm...
just seems to be creating more questions....
good luck, I know your looking for input but you know who must make the final decision.
2006-06-23 20:51:12 · answer #7 · answered by Maken trax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't move in girl? school is always important ? move in by your self/ trust me i been there don't do it! if he love you he would understand. good luck!!!
2006-06-23 21:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋