What is the funniest story you can make up?

Question

I'd like to hear some funny stories that you can make up.

Please make it have atleast 2 paragraphs...PLEASE no cussing!!!!

Answer 1

Ok , I made up this story a while back and my kids always ask me to tell it....
Once upon a time there was a little enchanted forest and there lived magical creatures and one little girl who lived among them was sad because she had gas...bad gas. So bad was her gas they named her Fartarina. She would go around and all would fall in her wake. So one day she wen to the wise old Owl for help.
"Oh wise owl please help me because I cannot bare myself I just just ...."
"Yes, dear" said the owl consoling her "We know your problem and you need to go thru the troll forest and lollyland then find the enchanted cupcake and give it to the unicorn."
She went to the Troll forest and the little trolls had never seen a little girl before so they were facinated and came over to see this new creature. no sooner had they all encircled her she could not hold off and ripped a big poot. Down went all the trolls before they could even say hi. Body parts twitching as they fell unconcious. This, nonetheless, was to her advantage becasue she crossed the bridge without any hassles. She went on to Lolly land and found Gormak the sacred keeper of the lollies. She approached him but not too close.
"Oh great Gormak of the Lollies please tell me how to get the old sacred enchanted cupcake I must get it to the Unicorn to rid me of some awful gas."
Yelling from behind a patch of purple fruited pink cotton leafed trees with a blue trunk he said "Ok, stay right there and I wll ask the old mage." he went to down a small dirt footpath with the Glub trees on either side to find a big Oak tree that had no business bing in a Glub forest. He tapped on the tree three times and behold the door opened and a gooney looking man with spectacles with all sorts of magnifying apparatus on them popped out and said
"It's all about the kinsman redeemer now where's my pie?"
"Oh um..." Gormak said sort of taken aback while the old mage =quicly flicked a couple of glasses parts into position.
"oooOOOOOh! " the mage exclaimed with suprize "It's you Gormak I though you were Enarke. sorry come in come in you want a spot of klok tea?"
He went over to put on the kettle and grabbed two cups that looked like flowers and saucers that looked like lilly pads over for tea.
"Sir, I am here to ask about inqiring the magic cupcake" said Gormak getting straight to business.
"Oooh, the cupcake." He lifted his eye brows and got lost a second in his own thoughts and moved then paused again then moved and paused and went to say somehting then paused again and put his hand up and gestured to speak then paused again then he scratched his head. Just then a small clicking sound was heard and the mage wipped around and grabbed Gormak and yelled
"HIt the deck it's four o clock"
All of a sudden a big huge clock chimmed and a blast of epic porportions sounded and there in their mids was a magic cupcake.
"right on time too" the mage stated after they got up from under the table.
the mage handed the cupcake to Gormak and he took it and went outside back down the path to find Fartarina who was already alleviating the trees of their fruit with her Air biscuts of destruction.
Gormak looked around in amazement and she blushed.
"Sorry um sorry about um about the trees... " she dropped off
shyly.
Gormak looked as if he was going to say somethin then he stopped he started again and then stopped he put up his finger and started to say something then he stopped. He started t"hinking. He stopped.
Um aaah here is the cupcake you asked for I will place it over there ifyou back up a bit." he said. He went foward slowly put down the cupcake and ran and tripped several times running as fast as his legs could carry him into the forest.
Fartarina picked up the cupcake and now went onward to find the unicorn. She tooted her way thru the valley and into the dwelling place of the Unicorn. She was so happy to get this far on her journey she didn't notice the evil balfrog flapping it's dark fleshy wings behind her. It's demonic appearance illuded her presence for about ten seconds. She stopped and all of a sudden he stopped and she opened a bag she was carrying with her and started to eat a bean burrito. She began to walk again and the Balfrog though this would be a great place to overtake her and he was about to punce when Fartarina stopped her bowels rummbled and then she let out the biggest butt trumpet ever seen. The balfrog lunged foward just as she blasted and he fell straight down and Fartarina didn't see a thing she just smiled and took another bite of her burrito and skipped along. she went along the path until she came to a beautliful lake with a Unicorn by it's shore. She came just within Shouting distance.
" UM HELLO MR UNICORN I AM ON A MISSION AND I HAVE THE CUPCAKE CAN YOU HELP ME PLEASE?" She yelled. The Unicorn spoke back inside her mind.
"My child I do thankyou please set down the cupcake and heed what I say you must go to the forest on the otherside of this lake and the caretaker will be able to help you with your problem of a gaseous state."
Fartarina yelled back "THANKYOU OH THANKYOU GREAT UNICORN!!"
The unicorn replied "Dear I can hear you find in your mind you needn't yell. and you are quite welcome. "
Fartarina ran as fast as she could around the lake to the other side to a Forest this time of gree trees with pink balls on them. A little man dressed in overall came out and scared the bejezus out of her
"Who are ya and Who sent ya?" He said challenging her.
"I...I... was send by the...the Unicorn to deal with a...a ... certain problem I am having with gas.
"Aye gas ye say eat the balls." He replied and quiclly ran away. She was like eat the balls eat what balls? She started lookin on the ground then on rocks then on one tree and followed the trunk up then it hit her and she saw the forest for the gum and started picking off gum ball after gum ball off the trees and she ate and chewed and chewed and ate and she ate and ate and swallowed. That last part there, the swallowin part, was her down fall because this was no ordinary gum. She felt full and she was happy because she would now be gas free! She started walking home and all of a sudden she felt that old feeling iin her bowels again and she begain to toot. The burrito she had earlier had made things worse. she began to toot and toot and toot but she felt something comming out of her butt. What was it? It was the pink gum in the form of a balloon. She could not stop farting and the bubble grew bigger and bigger until it lifted her off the ground and she went up in the sky and too this day if you look in the sky sometimes you can see Fartarina up in the sky the bubble getting bigger and bigger.

Answer 2

Before we got married my wife to be was living in a duplex. We made wild monkey sex one night and in the morning were leaving to get breakfast and the neighbor comes out and comments about the noise last night complaining in particular about the headboard banging against the wall. With a straight face I said "we don't have a head board, that was her head." Thought she was going to shoot me right there.

Answer 3

okay here goes: true story. this one day my co-worker came up to me and told me she wanted to go to McDonalds for lunch. she didnt know where there was one located near by and looked confused. when she came back she told me that she got lost. she drove around for 15 minutes. she then found a semi-truck driving around with a large McDonald's sign on the sides of the trailer. she followed it thinking it will take her to a McDonalds, since the driver must be dropping off food. well it only made her more confused and more lost. she followed him down small roads and almost entered the freeway. she then gave up. noticed that he was going to far and she had to get back to work. she ate no lunch that day. this story is funny to me becus iv never heard anyone do something this stupid to follow a truck.

Answer 4

ok one day when me and my 3 frins want to go meet these boys we were waiting for them an we got tired so we sat on this beanch an when my frin stood up she had brown fudge ice cream on her skirt me an my other frins were craking up thank goodess i had some tissle in my purse she clean her self fainlly the boys came an after we got done talking an the boys were half way down the street one of the boys yell out yall frin got poop on her self it was so funny lol

Answer 5

Friday your momma came up to ya boyfriend and asked him to do her. He said yes. Saturday your momma asked your boss to do her. he said yes. Sunday u your momma went to church and asked the priest to do her. He said "Thank You God InHeaven, Yes". On Monday It was her "fun day" and she had a huge group with all of them. The END!!!

Answer 6

okay here it is , I have a great love life.....if you really knew me then you would know how funny that story is

Answer 7

i was gonna eat some cereal this morning but the penguins said NO!