He is on drugs,will you take him as a husband and a father too?

Answer 1

Listen honey, I have been in the exact same boat your are in right now, faced with the future of endless drug addiction which was (still is) consumming a very good man. I loved him deeply, yet he could not get free of the shackles his addiction to meth placed around his soul. This is what being "dambed" truly means, being unable to move forward or grow due to a choice which turned out to be a life long nightmare rather than the "playing around" so many others engage in and do not end up addicts. Why one becomes an addict and another who does the exact same drug, in the exact same amounts, the exact same way, and for the exact same time does not I will never fully understand. What I do understand is that this man, my man (he use to be anyway, now he is a woman addicts man) became an addict. He tried his hardest to quit, he went to a six month drug program and did really well while there, but as soon as he got out he began using again. He is a good man, not scum like some addicts become. Perhaps in time he will suscumb to all those behaviors which turn good people into scum, I don't know. Right now he is on his way to serve a six year prison term. His first prison term. He had always sworn that if it got so out of hand he was faced with prison, he would most defently quit, that the idea of prison was to abhorant for him he truly believed he would quit long before it came to that.

Listen, your man's intentions are good, I really believe this. However, you and your children are in for nothing but heartache if you marry him and have children with him. Your children deserve a father who can take care of them on a consistant basis, one who can provide for them by holding down a job, and earning promotions. Your children deserve to be free from the presence of criminals. Regardless of how good a person your man is, he has to be around criminals in order to get his drugs, and the only people who he will want to be around will be other addicts as he will feel uncomfortable around those who are not using drugs on a consistant basis. He will place your children at risk without meaning to do so. These people are not very good people, and as he is a man he will bring other male addicts around who can harm your daughters, and yes your sons to sexually. I know from experiance. If you marry this man and have children with him, these children are going to be subjected to the dark world and people of the drug world. The under belly of society. They will be influanced by these people and it will feel normal to them to be around addicts, theives, liars, users, manipulaters, and worse. Is this the sort of enviroment you wish for your children? Most of these men will not work, the addiction will not allow them to hold down a steady job. Is this the legacy you wish to pass on to your sons? To have them have role models who do not work and take care of their families, men who live off of women on welfare? Or for your daughters to grow up thinking this is how it is with men and so they do not look for anything better in a relationship when they grow up? Don't you want much better for your children than this? Your sons will think men do not need to step up and work, take care of their families, that it is Ok for them to allow the women to do all the work, and your daughters will come to expect that of thier men as well. Your children will emulate what enviroment you place around them. There friends will be the children of other addicts. They will see men and women too, going to prison, getting locked up, taken from their homes, see freinds go to foster care or given to other family members. This is the worst sort of enviroment to raise your children in.

You have an obligation to your future children to provide them the best father and enviroment you possibly can. They have a right to expect this as they are not choosing to be born into this situation you are choosing for them. If you have children now, get out as soon as possible. Listen, it takes more than love to have a healthy relationship. Now that I spoke of what your children desrerve, what about what YOU deserve? Do you honestly believe you so unworthy that you have to settle for a drug addict? Do you have such low self esteem you think or believe you deserve to live in chaos, without the proper support, both financial, and emotional a man who is not using drugs can provide? A man using drugs can not take care of his own emotional needs, or financial needs let alone care for a families or a wife's. You deserve to have a full partner, one who can work a regular job, who can be emotionally available for you, not locked up time and agian either at a rehab facility or later a jail then prison. You deserve to be respected, honored, and loved. A person who is on drugs is incapable of truly providing these things for you. There are many men out there who would want you and be a good husband and father. Do not flush your own life and the futures of your children down the tolite just because you are having self esteem problems. Get some help. Go to a counseler and work on your own issues. You should do this before you have children, so you can be the best mother you can be for them. You children deserve a mother who is confident in her own worth, who has self esteem and self respect. How can you teach your children to have self worth, confidence and self respect if you do not know how to do those things for yourself? Work on yourself before entering a marriage or having children. Your life will be so much richer and happier for it. Take the time to do these things as you are worth it.

Please do not marry a addict. Please realize you have worth and deserve a good and decent man who will love you as you deserve and who you can have pride in. Provide your children a father who can meet their emotional needs, keep them from that horrid envirooment, provide a healthier enviroment and give them security in order for them to have the best chance for entering adulthood as healthy and confident as possible, with the knowlege they are worthy and deserving of good things in their lives. Bless Be.

Answer 2

No. With him being on drugs, he'll never mature, and never get a decent job that'll last. So he won't be able to support his family. Some people think that they can work and do drugs at the same time, but many accidents happen at work do to that. Then there's always the drug screens, pre-employment, post-accident, suspicion. To be honest, if you have a child, it's not worth committing to a relationship, when he won't commit either. Committing to a relationship means you put your spouse and family first. Usually some drugs lead to harder drugs, which eventually he may wind up selling your belongings to get drugs. If you have a child now, you don't need that type of heartache. You have to have your priorities in order, which means you need to think of your child first. What kind of father would he be? Would he be a good family provider, or would he just not work and stay at home doing drugs. These are answers that you're gonna have to ask yourself about him. Think carefully and be patient. The decisions you make today, may affect you and your child for a lifetime. Good luck.

Answer 3

The drugs will consume you and all of your family. Your husband will only be there trying to scam you, and anyone that he can to get a hold of some drugs. As far a fatherhood, well it be a big zero, cause he will feel thats going to tie him up, cut into his social life.So he will have on part of that or very little.
What part of No, N,O, don't you under stand ..Just listen to all of the people above me on this page.

Answer 4

NO NO NO NO NO what are you thinking, this is no possible good father for your children or anyone you will be able to trust to do the right thing for you.
I am supposing you mean illegal drugs,, if you are talking about a medical condition then that changes this answer lots.

Answer 5

Why would you want to expose your child to that kind of lifestyle,I'm going to assume you must be on drugs too. I can't even begin to think why you would ask that.

Answer 6

Oh yeah - sounds like a perfect husband/father. You are a moron.

Answer 7

What ARE you thinking? Yup, sounds like perfect husband/parent material...grab him quick, honey. NOT

Answer 8

DON"T DO IT . wake up honey. you're going down a long, dark and lonely road. you will find yourself broke, miserable, alone and guilty having exposed your kids to this kind of life. you have no right to do this to your children or yourself for that matter.

Answer 9

If you don't think for yourself then think for your kids. Children deserve to have a healthy life and to have both parents to be there for them.

Answer 10

I wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole let alone let him near me and my kids.

Answer 11

No! You want someone who will devote themselves to you and your child, not some drug.